Friday, October 26, 2007

You Bet Your Life

Ok, I won’t lie to you. I am getting sick of writing this column and being proven wrong almost every weekend. Seeing as how mediocrity reigns this year in College Football, I will start making mediocre picks based almost entirely on the mascot match up. Try and bear with me on this.

#9 USC (6-1) @ #5 Oregon (6-1): One of the biggest games so far in the College Football season has a Trojan facing off against a Duck. A somewhat lopsided match up when you see it on paper I agree, you know... with a Trojan being trained in warfare and wielding razor sharp weapons and all and a duck just being a duck. However, this game is in the Pacific Northwest and I hear it gets damp there this time of year. I am giving the edge to Oregon in this one based solely of the fact that ducks repel water. Oregon wins this game outright and covers the –2.5 point spread.
Oregon 38 – USC 30

#20 Georgia (5-2) @ #9 Florida (5-2): Uga the Bulldog vs Albert and Alberta Gator in the “Worlds Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” . Yet again a pretty lopsided match up on paper. In the animal kingdom 2 gators up against 1 dog always ends up in a severe mauling. Actually I am pretty sure it just ends up with an eaten dog. The Gators feast on some pooch and devour the spread of –8.5.
Florida 35 – Georgia 17

Clemson (5-2) @ Maryland (4-3): Here we have “The Clemson Tiger” up against “Testudo the Turtle” of Maryland. So as I see it - The Clemson Tiger has the speed and size advantage, and people say speed kills. Testudo on the other hand has that rock hard shell, and I wonder, can a tiger penetrate that rock hard shell with it’s razor sharp teeth? If someone can provide me an official answer on this it would be much appreciated. Also I remember hearing a story when I was a kid about a slow assed turtle beating up on a rabbit in a race. Based on this theory I am picking the Testudo beat up on the Tigers in a slow, low scoring game. Maryland not only gets the points but win outright.
Maryland 17 – Clemson 14

#15 South Carolina (6-2) @ Tennessee (4-3): “Cocky” the Gamecock against a Volunteer, a species you most often see wasting their time rummaging at a food bank. This is a hard pick to nail down. The Steve Spurrier factor weighs huge in this game. While at Florida Spurrier destroyed Tennessee. I have go with the Gamecocks in this one. Not only because of the hilarious name which has led to women’s t-shirts bearing the slogan “I love the Cocks” but also because of the Spurrier factor. The Cocks “click-clack” all over the Vols.
South Carolina 24 – Tennessee 20

#11 South Florida (6-1) @ Uconn (6-1): Yet another matchup here where a dog ends up getting mauled to death. The USF Bulls up against the Huskies of Uconn. The laws of nature dictates (at least in my mind) that the Bull defeats the Husky each and every time. The Huskies keep this fight close, and USF doesn’t cover the –4.5 point spread.
South Florida 21 - Uconn 17

And now for my infamous Lock of the Week. This week's version I have the new #1 team, The Ohio State Buckeyes up against Joe Paterno and the Penn State Nittany Lions. Two teams have already dropped from the #1 spot this year (USC & LSU) and I look for Ohio St to make it three teams by the end of Saturday.

#1 Ohio State (8-0) @ #25 Penn State (6-2): The Buckeyes roll into Happy Valley not having lost a regular season game since 2005, which just happened to be to Penn St, in Happy Valley. Here we have a Buckeye, some sort of acorn up against the mythical Nittany Lion. Naturally I have to go with the Nittany Lion in this one. What does an Acorn have to offer? Nothing - that's what.
Penn St 24 – Ohio St 23

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