For Those of Us With Short Attention Spans

I'm flying by the seat of my faded corduroy's today - and you know what that means, a ... post.

... If you like sucker-punching cancer victims, then hockey is probably the game for you. One of Philadelphia's resident ass-hats, Steve Downie reminded everyone why hockey is such a special game when he punched Jason Blake in the eye on Saturday night. Fantastic - no wonder I can't give the hockey column away (funny that, nobody wants an unpaid gig writing about a sport that nobody watches). And don't give me that garbage about Downie being a troubled youth - if his mental state is causing him to lash out like this, then maybe he should be receiving professional help and not being allowed to play a sport where he can maim other human beings. Also see: Simon, Chris.

... Jeff K just sent me this - it's the video of Chris Bosh's girlfriend heckling Lebron James on the weekend. Of course this led to James going off in the 4th quarter and burying the Raptors. Say what you will about Jessica Simpson being at Cowboys' games, but at least she's not on the sidelines heckling Donovan McNabb. What I'm hoping is that this turns into a T.O situation and next week Jamario Moon is asking Bosh for his lady's number - "just to talk to her".

... And on the topic of Chris Bosh - as far as shameless self-promotion goes, this is actually pretty clever.

... Mustache enthusiasts, relief-pitching fans and Cooper rejoice! Goose Gossage has finally been voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

... In the credit where credit is due column - Cooper may have had a rough go of the Bowl predictions but he did say that LSU would beat The Ohio State on Monday night by 2 touchdowns. The final score... 38-24. The sad thing is American Gladiators was probably more watchable than that game was.

... I know that Joe Gibbs retiring from the Redskins (again) is the big coaching news in the NFL right now but I'm still gloating over the Ravens' firing of Brian Billick. It's not often that people get what they deserve so my belief is that you have to bask in it when you can.

... However, not everything is well in the world of NFL coaching - because in the immortal words of Ricky Bobby, "That just happened!" Honestly, as someone who rooted for the 49ers as a youth and still has a soft spot for them - there is no way this is going to end well. I will concede that Martz has had success as a co-ordinator, creating explosive offenses. But in St. Louis and Detroit he had offensive weapons with which to cause said explosiveness. And San Francisco has... ... ... the dynamic receiving duo of Darrell Jackson and Ashley Lelie? The pre-pubescent girl hands and bum shoulder of Alex Smith? The running back formerly known as Frank Gore? Perhaps San Francisco's inept offence this year was the fault of their OC - or maybe it was their almost total lack of talent on offence.

... Seriously though, if anyone wants to start writing a hockey post occasionally - let me know. I just can't be bothered and the same goes for the rest of the Sports As Life crew. I feel like hockey should be represented here though, at least a little bit.

... Now that the NFL season is winding down, we're going to start getting into basketball a little bit more. As Jeff K has said - it's criminal that Isiah Thomas has not been mentioned once this year on Sports As Life. I couldn't agree more and we're going to work on rectifying that situation.

... Also, we're only about 2 months away from March Madness. One way or another we're going to have a Sports As Life pool this year - so start thinking about your bracket. Look out for those Wichita State Shockers!