The Further Adventures of Coach Lebowski

The waiting limo's back door is flung open. The Bishop is shoved in and awkwardly takes a seat facing the rear. The door is slammed behind him.
















COACH LEBOWSKI
Start talking and talk fast you lousy bum!





















BRANDT THE GM
We've been frantically trying to reach you, Bishop.


Brandt sits catty-corner from the Bishop; directly across from the Bishop is Coach Lebowski, a comforter across his knees.

















COACH LEBOWSKI
Where's my g*ddamn offence, you bum?!















THE BISHOP
Well we--I don't--

















COACH LEBOWSKI
They did not receive the ball, you nitwit! They did not receive the g*ddamn ball. OUR OFFENCE WAS IN YOUR HANDS!





















BRANDT THE GM
This is our concern, Bishop.















THE BISHOP
No, man, nothing is f*cked here--

















COACH LEBOWSKI
NOTHING IS F*CKED? THE G*DDAMN PLANE HAS CRASHED INTO THE MOUNTAIN!

BOOOOOOOOO.... (deep breath)... BOOOOOOOOOOOO... (deep breath)...

We open on a typical CFL crowd - let's say, oh, in Hamilton - booing loudly after a crucial call has gone against them.




One knowledgeable patron courteously informs those sitting around him that the call on the field made by the referees was, in fact, correct and they have no reason to be upset.




Word spreads quickly around the stadium that the decision on the field was the correct one and the fans return to their seats and give the officials a smattering of polite applause for their correct interpretation of the rules at a critical point in the game.

Ok, let's snap back to reality for a second if we could, after that little story that had more fantasy than Mariah Carey.

Most of the commentary I've been reading following Saturday's Saskatchewan/Hamilton game has been along the lines of "Oh those ignorant Hamilton fans, they were booing even though the refs got it right !!!11!!1!!!"

Maybe it's just me and my un-Canadian views on football but I guarantee the reaction to the deciding call in Saturday's game would have been the exact same in any CFL city. If not worse.

If that game had been in Taylor Field and James Johnson ran down Jessee Lumsden (hey - it's just a thought experiment, never mind the fact that it could never possibly happen) with the same outcome that we saw on Saturday, are we really to believe the intelligista that comprises the crowd in Regina would have accepted the decision of the officials with quiet resignation?

Right...

That's not to say the crowds in Regina are any more or less intelligent and full-throated than in any other CFL city. But, you better believe that Taylor Field would have been shaken to its core if the situation was reversed.

And how do we even know what the fans in Hamilton were booing about? They could have all been perfectly aware that the correct call was made - and they were booing the stupidity of the rule itself. Because let's be honest, that is the dumbest rule I have ever heard of. Even worse than no-yards, and no-yards is dumber than... than... insert reference to something dumb here (I went to the well and the bucket came up empty).

Moreover, since when did fans (of any sport) need a valid reason to express their displeasure with anything - especially officiating? Fans in Regina berate local radio personalities standing on the sidelines at football games because they "suck" (which they do, by the way). That's what is so great about being a sports fan - it requires very little logic. It can be a very nice escape from everyday life.

For example, I have a seething, white-hot hatred for the New England Patriots - and I really don't have a good reason for this. They have never beaten "my" team in a meaningful game (that would require "my" team playing in a meaningful game - no playoff wins in 15 years baby!) and they've never personally wronged me in any way. Mostly I just hate them because they're too good (Sure they're cheaters and steroid abusers, but I hated them long before that).

Now, hating something because it's too good does not make a whole lot of sense to me. I wouldn't hate a book, a CD or a plate of pasta because it's too good - but that doesn't stop me from doing it when it comes to sports. Rest assured if I ever see Tom Brady on the street I will endeavour to boo him until he cries like a school girl with a skinned knee.

What's my point in all of this?

I have no idea. I started out wanting to write about Hamilton fans being upset at the perception that their team got jobbed - and the reaction to it. But somewhere along the way I wandered off the path a bit. I suppose if I had to sum up, I'd say that booing officiating is perfectly acceptable regardless of the situation - if they didn't want to be booed they shouldn't be wearing the stupid zebra costumes. I just think it's pretty ridiculous for one fan base or the media to criticize another fan base for "ignorant" booing.

Except those American hockey fans, they don't know what the hell they're booing about.

So It's the Old "Fumble the Ball Through the Endzone and Get it Back Again" Play, Eh?

Wow, just wow.

You Look Like I Need A Drink - Redux

Clearly I should have saved this title for the post about Friday night's CFL games, instead of wasting it on Thursday's games.

The Montreal/Winnipeg and B.C/Saskatchewan games displayed in vibrant HD everything I can't stand about the CFL - boring, sloppy football. I don't care what the final scores were in those games, you can't tell me there was anything exciting about either of them.

I'll focus on the B.C./Saskatchewan game, as that's the one I'm more familiar with, and that's not saying much - having listened to it like a shut-in during the 30's listening to War of the Worlds. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I did watch the last couple of minutes in moving pictures. And the Montreal/Winnipeg game was a blowout not worth mentioning anyway.

First for B.C. - Jarious Jackson should be playing high school football somewhere, not CFL football. You just know that somewhere Spurgeon Wynn was watching game at home thinking, "I could have done that!" I will admit that Jackson throws a great ball - the only problem being that it's usually not to anybody, at least not to anybody on his team. Terrible.

And for Saskatchewan, the big story will be injuries. Two broken legs, a pulled hamstring and more than a few cases of Pilsner-stomach, I'm sure.

Although the story should be that I was only 4 points off in predicting the final score, which was 26 - 16. My prediction was 23-17. Oh well, whattayougonnado?

But I think my favorite part of the game was the post-game reaction in which people were commending Damien Durant for his "good" game. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't he 4-11 or 4-12 passing? In no way, shape or form does a 25% completion percentage constitute a good game. The only thing Durant did successfully was hand the ball off to Wes Cates (as Trebor stated in the comments on the previous post). The plane might actually be crashing into the mountain after all.

I hate to be a naysayer about the CFL all the time (ahh, who am I kidding - no I don't) but I don't think anybody can say they enjoyed the games on Friday night.

And what can I say, sometimes old habits are just hard to break. Isn't that right, doctor?




Only 3 weeks until NFL training camps, only 3 weeks until NFL training camps.

You Look Like I Need A Drink

As I sat down to watch some 3-down football last night, I thought this title would be appropriate for a post about me struggling to watch CFL football - but what can I say, sometimes I'm wrong.

Last night's games were highly entertaining.

First was the Toronto/Hamilton game, which I watched the first 7/8ths of. One of the two things I got from this game is that Jesse Lumsden is the most talented athlete in the league - hands down. It's criminal for him to touch the ball less than 20-25 times a game. If he stays healthy this year Hamilton has a good chance to not be horrible.

The second thing I got from the game is that Toronto coach Rich Stubler is not going to last the season. There's just no way. The team is almost is open revolt already. The quarterbacks are squabbling and the idiot kicker doesn't even have goal posts to practice on. His quarterback-swapping by "feel" is one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard of. Shouldn't the quarterback, of all people, be the one guy you want to be confident in himself? As far as I can tell, a coach with the propensity to pull quarterbacks like he's starting a lawnmower is not going to instill confidence in QB's who are always looking over their shoulders.

The Stubler death-watch starts now. If he sees September, I'll be surprised.

The other game last night was Edmonton/Calgary, which I managed to catch the last 7/8ths of. And if you only watched an 1/8th of that game, the last 1/8th was one to see.

I turned it on with Edmonton up 3 (I think) with about 2 minutes to play - and the proceeded to demonstrate exactly how not to run out the clock. They went pass, sack, punt - to give the ball immediately back to Calgary, who promptly marched down the field and scored a touchdown to go up 4 with a minute and a half left.

When Calgary scored I bet that French kid who coaches Edmonton felt about like this:

However, improbable as it may seem, Edmonton was able to march right back down the field themselves and score the winning touchdown. It was quite a score as well - click here to watch the clip - with Jason Tucker making about 4 different adjustments while the ball was in the air. It was also a thing of beauty because Rod Black almost had an on-air stroke when Tucker caught the ball.

Also, does anyone else think Ricky Ray might have the mumps? I think someone should tell him to get checked out. Or at least get him to take the cotton balls out of his cheeks.

And of course tonight Saskatchewan plays in B.C. If I was forced to venture a guess I'd say Saskatchewan wins 23-17, or something like that.

No, I did not see last week's season opener between the Roughriders and Eskimos, as it was Sports As Life contributor Trebor's wedding. And here for your viewing pleasure is an advance copy of the wedding photo from the happy day*...

*May not be a true statement - but congratulations to them all the same.

My Hovercraft is Full of Three-Down Football

Well since today is the start of the 2008 CFL season, I thought it would be appropriate to do the Roughrider season preview today. No, there will not be a repeat of last year's (moderately) popular prediction post - who has the time for such things?

However, it warrants mentioning that if the CFL season starts and no one sees it, did it still happen? Thank you very much SaskTel - I want my next bill to be pro-rated, to reflect the two days (and counting) my cable has not worked. Not that it's a big deal. I didn't really want to watch the Euro 2008 semi's, CFL games tonight or the NBA Draft anyway. If I'm a little testy you'll forgive me, I haven't seen a Simpsons episode in 56 hours.

Seriously, what did people do before television? Converse with one another? Have well-rounded inter-personal relationships? Read their evening newspaper by whale-oil lantern? Go outside? No thank you very much.

And while I'm complaining on the subject of things that bothering me, when did it become acceptable for fans to refer to a sports team as we? As in, "We really need a win tonight," or "we need a touchdown right here." No - they need a touchdown, you need to shove some more Dorito's into your noise hole.




...

...

Well, I digress. On to why you're here.

I must confess that the reason I didn't write anything the Roughriders for so long is that I honestly don't have much of an idea about this team - at least nothing that I could turn into anything funny, which is generally my number one concern.

Once the season gets going I'm sure I'll have a little more material to work with - maybe Matt Dominguez complains about the health care system again, maybe Scott Schultz wins a chicken wing eating contest, or maybe Luca Congi presides at a lesbian wedding. The possibilities are endless.

The only concrete idea I had going into this post was that I thought new Roughrider head coach Ken Miller looked like the Big Lebowski from, well, The Big Lebowski.




















Which got me thinking that I would give both my kidneys to see this scene play out on the sidelines this year, with Marcus Crandell playing the role of The Dude and Ritchie Hall as Brandt.


Video NSFW, or at least turn your volume down.

"Marcus, the ********* plane has crashed into the mountain!" Seriously good times.

There is a big question on everyone's mind right now, and I know what it is - Do the Roughriders win the Grey Cup again?

If I had to guess I'd say they have a pretty good chance, somewhere around 1 in 8.

Well that's it for now - if my cable doesn't come back on soon, this is going to be the only sports I'll be watching in the near future:

The Sports As Life 2008 CFL Preview - The Godzilla Remix - Part 2

Good day, and welcome to Part 2 of the 2008 Sports As Life CFL Preview - The Godzilla Remix. As stated in Part 1 of the Preview, in trying to find an original way to preview the season we're using the motto of the city each of the CFL teams play in. Part 1 covered the East and now we're on to the West.

*Disclaimer: This preview contains no actual research and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Please, no wagering.*


Saskatchewan (Regina) - "Let Regina Flourish"
If you like conservative governments, skyrocketing housing prices and nurses so powerful they make the Roman Legions look like Girl Scouts, then welcome to Alberta Saskatchewan!

Yes Saskatchewan, home of the defending Grey Cup Champions - we haven't been able to say that since Michael Jackson was black - and no, ninja masks do not count. Saskatchewan is also home to the most unoriginal advertising campaigns (Welcome to the Green Mile brought to you by the Rider Nation) since I tried to market my own homemade McRib sandwiches out of the back of a van parked in a McDonald's parking lot. They were not pleased about that.

For the casual observer it seems the Roughriders are trying to apply the addition by subtraction philosophy this year. Gone are Kent Austin, Reggie Hunt, Kerry Joseph, Fred Perry and probably a few others. But as someone smarter than me once said, just because you know their name doesn't mean they're any good. I'm looking directly at you Jackie Mitchell... wherever you are.

Edmonton - "Industry, Intergrity, Progress"

I must say, I know less about the Eskimos than just about any other team in the league I reckon... and if you've read this far, you'll know the competition for that title is pretty tough.

I think that fat little French kid they hired as their coach a couple years ago is still hanging around... somehow. Nothing like ruining a streak of decades upon decades of consecutive playoff appearances.

Plus they acquired Fred Perry's gold teeth via trade in the offseason. So they got that going for them... which is nice.

Calgary - "Onward"

If you've ever met somebody from Calgary you'll know that motto is probably the most profound thing someone from Cowtown has ever come up with. Did you know that when children are behaving badly in Calgary their parents tell them the Deerfoot lives under their beds and will eat them if they don't behave?

This season I can only hope that the Stampeders continue the trend of signing the biggest NFL Draft bust they can possibly get their hands on. Last season it was the Akili Smith debacle - What? The accuracy problems that cost him an NFL career weren't suddenly remedied by only playing 3 downs? I'm shocked!

My shortlist of busts Calgary should sign this year would include David Klingler, Heath Schuler (although I believe he's an elected official in the U.S now - but that CFL money could probably lure him out of retirement) and Lawrence Phillips... oh, wait. But the guy I'd like to see more than anyone is Ki-Jana Carter. C'mon Hufnagel, he was a #1 pick for goodness sake!

Note: I was going to make an Andre Ware joke here but I forgot he was in the CFL many moons ago - and actually won a Grey Cup. Yes, he was the backup. To Doug Flutie.

B.C (Vancouver) - "By Sea, Land and Air We Prosper"

I think something got lost in translation there because as far as I knew B.C's motto was "By Leg Whips, Chop Blocks and Chokeholds We Prosper."

Since the Commissioner won't be troubling himself with negotiating with the NFL anymore, perhaps he might turn an eye to the punishment system in his own league. Or maybe not - players without fear of reprisal are sure to play within the rules at all times.

Ok, that does if the this year's CFL Preview - and I must say it was much easier than writing an NFL Preview, which I'm going to have to start this weekend if I want it to be done by September. Speaking of weekends, starting tomorrow I'll be out of the Sports As Life offices for a week - so don't expect any posts during that time. But don't worry, I'll be working on some things for the week I return.

Also, with the Stanley Cup wrapping up last night - and might I say, how sweet was it to see Fleury score on himself again to cost his team a championship - it meant the end of the Sports As Life NHL Pool Party. Yours truly could not hold on to the lead down the stretch and failed to go wire to wire for the victory. The winner was ShakeyJ. So congratulations you bastard - also belated congratulations to CH who took home the the March Madness Pool Part. Both will receive a Sports As Life T-Shirt of their choice. The next chance for you to win something will probably be in the fall with the start of the NFL season - which can only mean one thing, the start of Fantasy Football season!

That's it, have a good week - and do yourself a favour and watch some Euro 2008.

The Sports As Life 2008 CFL Preview - The Godzilla Remix - Part 1

Bet you thought you'd never see the day, did ya? The day when 'ol Sports As Life came crawling back to the CFL. Well, if you're looking for football right now it's either the CFL or Arena Football and the CFL won out... by a rouge. Three down football, here we come.

But the season hasn't started yet, how can we possibly have an intelligent discourse prior to one snap even being played, you might ask yourself? Well I would probably dispute our ability to have an intelligent discourse regarding the CFL even once the season starts - but that's neither here nor there.

What follows is what they call a season preview, wherein experts make guesses about the upcoming season based on past events and future predictions. However, where this is going to differ is that I am by no means an expert. Quite the opposite - my knowledge of the CFL is limited to only as far as my interest would take me over the last few seasons. Which is to say, not very far.

But I feel a James Earl-size jones for football, so here we find ourselves. I know it's frightening but don't worry, it'll only hurt for a moment...

As a (possibly?) original means of breaking down the 8 teams in the CFL, each of the cities the teams play in will be compared by what else than their city motto's. We're going to East to West, try to keep up.

*Disclaimer: This preview contains no actual research and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Please, no wagering.*


Montreal - "Well-being through harmony"
Now obviously that's translated from the original French. However, I refuse to acknowledge French as an actual language - unless what's being said is, "We surrender unconditionally" or "This cheese smells worse than my awful grandfather." Anything other than those two phrases should be considered as nothing more than gibberish.

As far as I know, the Montreal team is older and more tired than Don Cherry's shtick. The last I heard the team was also in open revolt against their head coach and general manager. If there is a combination that is a recipe for success it's tired veterans and an arrogant asshat for a coach.

The white flag should be up in Montreal in no time.


Toronto - "Diversity Our Strength"
And if by diversity you mean mediocrity, then yes - that seems about right. With the loss of Damon Allen, Toronto was forced to meet it's aging mobile quarterback who's lost a step quota. Enter Kerry Joseph. Enjoy the Kerry Joseph era Hogtowners - he's about as accurate as George W. Bush doing long division.

And that's about all I know about Toronto's team. I'm pretty sure that they're about as old as Montreal though. So old in fact, that Mike O'Shea was one of the Fathers of Confederation (hint - he's the fifth one in on the left).


Hamilton - "Together Aspire - Together Achieve"
Riiiiiight, well you can just tell yourself whatever you want then - I'll believe it when I see it. The only thing Hamilton is aspiring to is owning a hockey team.

I have two questions about Hamilton. First: Can we finally admit that Jesse Lumsden is injury prone and that it might end up being the defining characteristic of his career? Second: Did Casey Printers catch a disease that causes mediocrity while he was in Kansas City? Mediocre players are pretty common in KC - you never know.


Winnipeg - "One With the Strength of Many"
Clearly this is not a reference to Kevin Glenn's ulna. Oh snap!

I'd have more to say about Winnipeg but their back-up quarterback sucked out my soul with his eyes.



If any of your cattle turn up mutilated, you'll know who to contact the authorities about.

And this ends Part 1 of the 2008 CFL Preview. Stay tuned for Part 2, coming soon - or whenever I feel like writing it.

The Artisan and the Village - A Fable

A great cry of sorrow rose up from the masses, "The Chosen One who brought joy to our lives hath now wrought plague on our livestock and disease on our crops. Our places of dwelling shall surely quake and give way if he were to steal away in the night. Once before he left us, surely he would not a second time?"

But it came to pass that the Chosen One assembled his possessions and bore he and his family away from the humble village, to a land rich in well-tended pastures... and grits. It was in this land of the many consecutive letters that the Chosen One found work as an artisan. He was charged with the task of designing the finest silks, woven with complex patterns of X's and O's. The bazaar that in he would sell the wares of his trade would be the grandest and most feared in all the known land. In the native tongue it was called the SEC.

While the Chosen One flourished and his renown grew, the village from whence he came was plunged into darkness, chaos and confusion. No more was the joy they had once known, only fear and despair remained. They laid blame at the feet of the Chosen One and cursed his house for bringing misfortune upon them. The villagers destroyed their own property with abandon, in hopes it would bring respite from the suffering. A father cries out to his child, "Son, bring me thine sledge that I would smite this mini-carriage bearing the Chosen One's name. He shall know the nature of our anger when it lay in splinters!"

The Chosen One's name was now known across the land and word of the hardships that had befallen his old village reached his ears as he was journeying to do battle with a group of ferocious Tigers, in a place known in legend as Death Valley. The hardships of the village brought sadness to the Chosen One's heart and he left his caravan, in hopes of setting right what had become of the village.

As he crested the surrounding hills, a gasp of sorrow escaped from the Chosen One as he saw that the village now lay in ruin. "Why have you laid waste to what we toiled so long to build," he cried.

The villagers answered, "You have twice abandoned us and it was our anger and sorrow that gave rise to this destruction. We are lost and without direction. And our football team sucks."

And the Chosen One replied, "Do you not see that what we built could have brought you joy and peace for many years? Instead you chose greed and with it came pain and suffering. Do not try to possess what cannot be possessed. I am not livestock that one man or one village can keep for themselves. What we built, we built together. Focus not on that I am no longer here to lead you. Instead turn your thoughts to the happiness that lived in your homes and your hearts. I am not a Chosen One, a keeper of the things you seek - I merely showed you the path. With it laid out before you, you can now follow it on your own. As I leave, wish me good fortune in my pursuits as I will you in yours."

As the Chosen One, revealed to be simply a man, bade farewell to the villagers, they agreed that what was said was indeed the truth, and wished him well. And they set about re-building what had once been a mighty village.

Except for some of the old people - they still held a grudge. And those known as the "village idiots", they were still pretty pissed too - but nobody really cared what they thought.

This Post Contains (Almost) No Grey Cup Game-Analysis

In honour of everyone currently at the coldest rally since Stalingrad in '43, here is the expansion of last night's post - now that I have retrieved my car from the clutches of the Rider Nation.

... you know everybody is fired up about the Grey Cup when a woman stops me in my parking lot, asks me what time the game is and then proceeds to rummage through my building's dumpster. Grey Cup Fever - Catch It!

... for me the highlight of CBC's broadcast was Elliotte Friedman claiming that Winnipeg was going to do just fine in the Grey Cup - in fact they were going to be, "Oh-tay" - his exact words, I kid you not. But it got even better when Friedman quickly caught himself and said "okay" but the rest of the studio crew were too fast and all made the hand gesture and said "oh-tay" in unison. Which led me to believe that it was staged but Friedman looked genuinely embarrassed, so it was just quick thinking by the guys at the desk. High comedy.

... it was nice of CBC's Steve Armitage to introduce Roughrider defensive back Airabin Justin as Justin Airabin. I'm fairly certain this happened, although it might have been the muscle relaxants. Justin's parents must have been proud.

... it was also very nice of the Barenaked Ladies to get all dressed up for the occasion. When they came out to sing the national anthem it looked like they had just finished painting a bathroom or maybe whitewashing a fence.

... not to be outdone, Charles Roberts showed respect in his own way by continually drinking and spitting out water during the national anthem.

... can someone explain to me why Troy Westwood is allowed to wear a Velociraptor claw around his neck while on the football field? Is that an eagle talon? Cause that would have been one giant eagle.

... here's the first half summary for you, just in case you missed it - two field goals, some incomplete passes and a couple safety's...

... oh and who could forget the reason I won't be watching the CFL again - after James Johnson ran his interception back for a touchdown, I made the claim that if he (Johnson) won the Grey Cup Most Outstanding Player (M-O-P! M-O-P!) I would never watch a CFL game again. Why John Chick why? Just a couple more plays from you and I wouldn't have to live in a world where James Johnson is the Most Outstanding anything.

... did Ryan Dinwiddie forget to take his contacts out from Halloween or are his eyes just naturally terrifying?

... speaking of eyes, I swear it looked like Kent Austin had pink eye. Ah the horrors of HD.

... why was there a non-Canadian musical act performing during halftime of the Canadian Football League's championship game again? Especially since the Barenaked Ladies were obviously available. We really shouldn't have to continually outsource the Grey Cup Halftime Show.

... there were two nice touchdown passes in the second half - well one nice pass (John-son!) and once nice run after the pass. But to me the second half was totally dominated by what still remains a baffling call. Saskatchewan gambled on 3rd and 1 on Winnipeg's 11 - and initially the officials ruled that Kerry Joseph came up short on the sneak. Kent Austin challenged the play, and rightly so as the spot appeared to be pretty suspect. Saskatchewan won the challenge and was awarded a first down based on the video replay.

Now here's what I don't understand, the officials were so absolutely sure of where the ball should have been placed that they didn't feel the need to re-measure after the challenge? The replays showed that the ball should have been close to the 10, which was where the first down mark was - and that's where the ball was placed. But in a close game of that magnitude how there was no re-measure is just beyond me. It was so far beyond me that I emailed the CFL this morning to get some clarification. I identified myself and why I was emailing, so I feel I'm within my rights to print the response I got from the CFL's head of officiating George Black,

The ball needed to touch the line (we knew that from a measurement after the
previous play. Using replay we could see that the ball did pass that mark, and
Referee Glen Johnson explained that.

If you squint hard enough you can see exactly where he says, "Now get lost." Of course this is also the office that somehow botched the Kerry Joseph/past the line of scrimmage call last week, so I'm not all that concerned by my confusion in this matter.

... related to the point directly above, how come Doug Berry had to throw his challenge flag before he could get an explanation of the above series of events from the officials? Of course it ended up costing him 5 yards as well. But out of that we did get the now classic, "I challenge your challenge!" line (that was Trebor's, I can't take credit). So it wasn't a total waste of time.

... just as Winnipeg was driving at the end of the game and the room was getting a little tense, my comment was, "don't worry - he's going to throw a killer pick right here". And 5 seconds later James Johnson had the ball in his hands and all of Saskatchewan was celebrating.

... and speaking of celebrating, I was pleasantly surprised with how well-behaved the crowds on Albert Street were last night. It was mostly high-fiving and honking. There was also a well-ordered game of Frogger, as people were continually crossing Albert and Victoria - with the walk signs no less. The police were in the spirit as well - high-fiving people and just taking away the alcohol that made its way out into public.

... and I think that's it.

The Only Headline You Want to Read Today

...If you made it to work that is - or at least in front of a computer.

And I'd love to write a big post right now about the Roughriders winning the Grey Cup tonight but unfortunately my notebook is in my car, which is trapped on the opposite side of Albert Street from where I live. So I'll just go with what I have for now.

Good on the Roughriders for pulling out the win. I can say without any doubt that we won't be seeing that game on ESPN Classic Canada anytime soon. But a win is a win, as they say.

Most of the stuff I'm going to post isn't about the game itself - cause there wasn't a whole lot to talk about there. I'm very glad I didn't do a live blog because it would have been a very dull experience for everyone involved. It was mostly because I decided to run 10 kms earlier in the day and could barely tell you what my name was by the time the game rolled around.

The post to come later will deal with such hot topics as:

- Ryan Dinwiddie's souless eyes
- why I'm not allowed to watch a CFL game again
- why Troy Westwood is allowed to wear a raptor claw around his neck
- how in HD it appeared that Kent Austin was suffering from a nasty case of Pink Eye
- "I challenge your challenge!"
- the transient that asked me what time the game was and then proceeded to rummage through my building's dumpster
- Elliotte Friedman apparently comparing Barrin Simpson to Buckwheat - which ranks as the highlight for me
- the lack of carnage on the Green Mile, at least when I was there
- why CFL referee's can determine if a play results in a first down from a video challenge without re-measuring
- the general milling around on the field during Lenny Kravitz
- why the Barenaked Ladies looked like they had just come from painting a fence
- me perfectly predicting the final, game-clinching interception

And I think that might be it - there might be more but I'll have to consult my notes tomorrow. And remember, rehydration is the key.

(Unfortunately It's) A Prairie Grey Cup?

I think this Grey Cup story has legs - might as well hitch my wagon to it.

Anyway, everything not in brackets in my title was the title of Stephen Brunt's article in today's Globe and Mail - A Prairie Grey Cup. A more misleading title this could not have been. 2/3rd's of the article dealt with Toronto, 1/3rd dealt with Winnipeg and 0/3rd's dealt with Saskatchewan. I have no desire to get into that old Toronto as the Centre of the Universe argument, the comments on Brunt's article paint a pretty grizzly picture of that whole debate. But I think my title might have been more to the point than Brunt's - and I love Brunt, he's my favorite Canadian sportswriter by far, but not even mentioning one of the two teams in the CFL Championship doesn't seem quite right. However, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that his deadline came before the end of the B.C/Saskatchewan game. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. But enough of all that.

Cooper and I were just discussing what this game would be like if it were held in either Regina or Winnipeg - he actually emailed me about Brunt's column, which I had already read. So I'll give Cooper the story credit but I'll take the writing credit. And if this Saskatchewan/Winnipeg Grey Cup was held in either, well... Saskatchewan or Winnipeg, I think I can sum up what would happen with this quote:

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria - Dr. Peter Venkman

Cooper's thought was that the two cities would be left in total financial ruin - due to a complete lack of productivity during the week leading up to the Big Game. I was leaning towards the host city being left in actual ruin. Not because any specific bad behaviour but just from the sheer collective will of both fan bases. But at least the host city, whichever it might be, would actually care about the game - before it was razed to the ground that is. And then possibly sown with salt for good measure. Just like war on terror jokes, you have to use Carthage jokes whenever you get the opportunity.

I suspect that both Saskatchewan and Winnipeg fans will be well represented in Toronto and will make Grey Cup Week interesting - even if nobody from Toronto actually cares.

More than anything I hope that Winnipeg can find a way to keep the game close and actually make it interesting. But honestly, I don't see that happening. Saskatchewan is riding a wave of good karma and better play and have become a force akin to Lex Luger after he body slammed Yokozuna on the deck of the U.S.S Intrepid - sadly it appears no video of this seminal moment in human history exists.

Is it too early for predictions?

Saskatchewan 28 - Winnipeg 13

Home Is Where the Playoff Game Is

I have a confession to make - I was too busy this afternoon brooding over why the Leader-Post suddenly decided to break out a new shade of Conservative blue for its front page less than a week after a Sask Party election victory to actually write anything about the Roughrider game. Probably just a coincidence. And yes, I know the Sask Party and the Conservatives are not one and the same but as they say, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... And yes, this is how my brain works - blame it on fluoridation or non-fluoridation, whichever it is we have here, I can never remember. It's probably all the fault of the Communists in any case.

I'm not in the best position to tell the story of the first playoff game in the Greater Regina Area since 1988 anyway. When I walked into the establishment where I watched the game, I immediately enquired as to whether we could turn the TV to the Cowboys/Giants game. That idea was not greeted was much enthusiasm I can assure you. But the Roughrider game was enjoyable to watch, even on TV. My personal highlight was Chris Walby heckling the crowd with a live mic right in front of him - this story is made even better by the fact that an acquaintance of mine claims to be the one who started yelling at Walby.

Since I was not at the game, you are in luck because our own Cooper smooth-talked his way into a ticket and filed the following eyewitness account:


Memories of a Roughrider home playoff game, not so different than “Memories of Montreal Steak Spice” from our friends at President's Choice. A game that, like the spice, had some kick - some pizazz, some razzle-dazzle and a lot of tension. I have been to a lot of Roughrider home games in my time, the majority of which were spent in the now long-lost University Section. I thought that with the closure of that legendary section I would never again see the same exuberance and emotion from fans that I had witnessed there. However, the Riders first home playoff game in 19 years gave birth to a new section. One that is twice as loud as the University Section, twice as rowdy, three times as exuberant, and by all estimations, ten to twenty times drunker than anything ever seen in the old University Section.

Our seats were located in Section 205 in the upper deck on the West Side, Row 12. I was in Seat 36, right at the end of the aisle…Perfect! We got to Taylor Field roughly an hour before kickoff and the place was already packed. Getting out of the car you knew that it was going to be a special day. The practice field was jammed packed with fans getting their pre-game drink on. However, our childish glee was temporarily extinguished on our entrance to the stadium after security confiscated our flasks…To the people at “Securitas”, you have made the list! Then there was the walk up to the upper deck. A brutal climb up what has to be a 75 degree grade, which some fans refer to as “The Death March”. After stopping on the 1st level to catch our breath and get our Rider Ryes we continued on our trek to section 205. We got to our seats with 40 minutes to go till kickoff and the stadium was already 2/3’s full and rockin’. Upon our arrival at our seats we were each given complimentary CFL “Thunder Sticks” which were of the cheapest quality. Ours suffered catastrophic blowouts shortly into the first quarter.

5 minutes to kickoff... being with 29,000 people singing the National Anthem literally gives you chills.

Finally it’s kickoff, what we have all been waiting for. A decent return on a short kick leads to Joseph's TD pass to Flick. The place goes insane. I honestly thought the upper deck was going to collapse in on itself and kill everyone below. The playing of the Roughrider fight song after the touchdown and every score thereafter was a beautiful touch, every fan singing along in unison. Then on Calgary’s first possession we recover a Burris fumble, the crowd takes it up a notch even higher. Chants of “Burris Sucks” rained down. A Pilsner can (big surprise) goes flying over my head directed towards the lone Stamps fan 3 rows below…bullseye! The near deafening crowd noise was continuous throughout the majority of the game. A lot of the time I couldn’t hear Scott talking next to me.

With 5 minutes left in the 2nd quarter I went down below to get some more refreshments. To my shock - the entire upper deck was out of liquor! Beer, Rye, Vodka, you name it…all gone. I head down a level…same result. So I decide to get a hot dog instead. Wrong! All gone as well. How about a hamburger…at $30.00 a pop who can resist? Well not too many I guess as they are all sold out as well. It is not even halftime yet and the West Side is out of food and drink. Brutal!! Note to management: When holding the biggest game in well, almost ever, you may want to prepare! Anyway, halftime arrives and Trooper is playing in the South end zone to entertain us all. Well unfortunately our section missed out on the performance with the lack of speakers, same thing goes for Captain Tractor at the start of the 4th quarter.

I will fast forward to the end of the 4th quarter because I am pressed for time.

The place is going absolutely apesh*t. I mean crazy! Then it appears Calgary recovers the onside kick and it is like a funeral just broke out. People are in complete shock. Could the Riders being doing it to us again? Thankfully Ken Lazurak confirms the offside call and we recover the subsequent re-kick. With Joseph's kneel-down as time expires, the place goes mental. It really was something special. Hands down the best game I have been too all because of the atmosphere created by us the fans. We were loud as hell, even louder when the Stamps had the ball (as witnessed by many procedure and offside calls) and unbelievably quite while we were on offense. It was fantastic!

I also have to add this tidbit. On the ride home listening to the call in show on CKRM an obviously elderly lady phoned in asking about the upcoming game in BC. Here is what her question/comment was, “Will they allow the BC fans to have those noise making sticks at their game? Cause if they do that is not fair at all. That’s for Rider fans.” Priceless. I love the absolute close-mindedness of some of the brain dead, hick fans we have in this province. Yes I am talking to you Mr. Al-Choholic #32, wearing the Pilsner box as a hat.

I Predict A Riot - Week 10 in The NFL

Actually before I get to the NFL picks this week, I guess I should do the big game this week.

Saskatchewan vs. Calgary
When the week started I thought this would be a very, very close game. I thought there would be one or two key plays that decided the whole game. And I figured that Calgary had a good chance of coming out on top. But that was before Calgary decided to totally self-destruct just days before the game. It's come out that Tom Higgins is apparently a lame-duck coach, who is out after the season regardless if the Stampeders win or lose. Regardless of whether this is true or not - how oh how could Calgary possibly let a story like this come out days before a playoff game (Calgary ownership/management has denied it). It seems like either a deliberate attempt to torpedo the team or an attempt to get the team to rally around the coach. For some reason I just don't see that rallying cry strategy working here.

Also veteran linebacker Brian Clark won't be playing because of "ratio reasons" from what I read in the Calgary Herald. Apparently there are whispers that this has caused some sort of divide in the Calgary locker room.

When you add it up it looks like big trouble for Calgary. I think this one gets away from them early - even though Wes "Brandenburg" Cates is not going to be playing for Saskatchewan. The Roughriders live and die by Kerry Joseph - as he goes so goes the team. Which might be terrifying, depending on your thought processes.

Initially I wasn't going to pick a winner in this game, only say that it was going to be close. But not picking a winner is actually not all that interesting, so here it is:

Saskatchewan 35 - Calgary 21 - I absolutely think that Calgary is going to melt down.

Ok, on to the NFL. I was 11-3 last week and, as I said in the last post, I don't want to spend hours in front of the computer today - so the NFL picks are going to be quick-hitters.

Here are the Week 10 picks:

Green Bay
Tennessee
Kansas City
Buffalo
New Orleans
Washington
Atlanta (they have to win this game don't they? Carolina doesn't have a quarterback - not even Vinny)
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Dallas
Detroit
Chicago
Indianapolis
Seattle

Ok, that's it - oh, as much as I hate to do it... Manitoba 21 - Regina 13

Embarrassment in Edmonton

I decided to write this after getting home from watching the Roughrider "win" tonight. In the future when I need an example of why I think the CFL is an inferior game - I will have to look no further than the holding call on Mike Maurer on the game winning field goal tonight.

It was one of the worst penalty calls in CFL history - and that's saying something. And quite honestly the CFL and all its fans should be embarrassed. The fact that Andre Proulx might have an important role to play in a meaningful game - like, say a playoff game - is just terrifying.

You can hate me and threaten me all you want but no self-respecting member of the "Rider Nation" can take pride in that "win". It was a garbage call made by someone who is clearly so inept at his job he should be collecting unemployment. But I don't fault the Roughriders in all of this, they were simply the beneficiaries of total ineptitude.

Did Proulx feel like he owed the Roughriders a call after botching the B.C and Hamilton games so badly? Did he have money on the game? There doesn't seem to be any other explanation.

Sean Fleming kicked a game-winning field goal tonight and you will never convince be otherwise (nevermind that it was his last game in Edmonton after 16 years). The fact that Mike Maurer is strong enough to block Tad Kornegay with one hand is not a penalty. I would suggest to Mr. Proulx that he get out of Edmonton immediately and never go back.

The fact that Glen Suitor said after the game that Mike Maurer would be wearing 'goat-horns' is just a spineless cop-out. I think Jock Climie was upset about the call but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

As a fan of football I'm not going to even try and express tonight how upset it makes me to see a referee decide a game like Proulx did tonight. So I'm just going to bed.

A Column on the CFL - You May Now Send in Your Abusive Comments

Before we get down to it today - I should point out that the Calgary Flames beat Minnesota last night (coming back from a 3 goal deficit no less), handing the Wild their first regulation loss of the season. I should also point out that the Flames were the first team to beat Anaheim in regulation last season. So you know what that means - another 8th place finish and an ignominious exit from the playoffs for the Flames.

Also Jacksonville's back-up quarterback is Quinn Gray - not David or Quentin Grey as reported yesterday. And speaking of Fantasy Football - how did I not know that Rams running back Steven Jackson writes a weekly Fantasy column for ESPN.com? I'm upset with myself for not knowing that sooner.

And little wonder Colorado got crushed by Boston last night - the Rockies had a 13-year old starting pitcher on the mound last night.

But enough of all that...

I finally want to deal with the CFL, the Hamilton Tigercats and the NFL coming to Canada - I'm going to do it all together because I think they're all related to one another. It's taken me awhile because I'm slightly hesitant to write about the CFL now, as every time I do I get accused of being something between a traitor and a heretic. But let me lay it out for you in simple Chapter and Verse:

Do I hate the CFL? No.

Do I hope to see the league collapse? No.

Do I enjoy writing by asking myself questions? No.

Do I prefer the NFL? Yes, absolutely - I always have and I always will. Somehow my preference of the NFL gets taken as a hatred for the CFL. I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive - I can prefer the NFL and not hate the CFL.

And I'm writing because I'm worried for the CFL's future.

I'd heard that the NFL Board of Governors approved the Buffalo Bills plan to play a regular season game in Toronto next year or the year after. I actually can't confirm that story anywhere but what I heard was that Buffalo will play one regular season game in Toronto every year - and a preseason game in Toronto every other year.

Suffice it to say that the NFL is coming to Canada whether anyone outside of Toronto wants it or not.

As an NFL guy you would probably expect me to be overjoyed by this - but I'm not, really. It's still going to be closer and cheaper for me to see an NFL game in Seattle, Minnesota or even Green Bay or Chicago. So I don't really have any personal interest in the NFL coming to Toronto. It was going to happen sooner or later though.

I think the CFL has lucked out and the NFL migration into Canada appears like it is going to be gradual, at least at first. And I say lucked out because the CFL needs to have a plan in place to deal with how the league is going to co-exist with the NFL, at least in the Toronto market. As it stands now, it looks like there will be an NFL team in Toronto full-time within the next few years - and as I see it, the CFL needs to be a part of the group, whoever it is, that brings a team to Toronto.

On the surface it would seem like this is akin to knowingly letting the Greeks into your impenetrably walled city. However, the NFL is coming whether the CFL wants it or not. So the CFL better make sure that it is active in that process - so that a team is moved into Toronto on the CFL's terms, not the NFL's. Which is why I think its a smart move by the owners of the Argos to try and play a role in all of this. I think if the CFL tries to stonewall the NFL or bury its head in the sand, Canadian Football will be far worse off than if it was partners with the NFL in bringing a team to Toronto.

Now what does this have to do with Hamilton you might ask? Well with an NFL presence in Canada - the CFL better make sure that every Canadian Football team is as strong and well-run as it possibly can be. In Western Canada this is not going to be an issue - and never will be. Fans in Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and Alberta are fiercely loyal to their teams and will support the CFL regardless of what the NFL is doing. I didn't include B.C on that list because I've heard fans of the Lions could be considered 'suspect' in terms of level of support - that's not a partisan comment, simply word of mouth. I don't think the NFL would affect Vancouver a great deal anyway (unless a team was to go there somehow) because Seattle is not all that far from Vancouver - and those who want to see the NFL probably go to Seattle anyway.

The problems, perhaps obviously, would lie in Eastern Canada. Montreal would probably be unscathed by all of this as their fanbase seems to be pretty loyal - unless of course Jim Popp continues to be the coach there. I honestly can't believe some of the things that have reportedly come out of his mouth - now that's throwing your team under the bus.

I don't think anyone knows what will happen in Toronto - how or if the two leagues could co-exist. So we'll leave that for another day.

So that leaves Hamilton - and maybe I'm overstating this (I don't think I am) but Hamilton needs to start fielding a competitive team... and soon. And not only if the NFL comes to Canada but just for the good of the CFL in general. With only 8 teams in the league I think it's necessary for all 8 to be competitive.

Now as I said on Monday, I realize that Hamilton has been hit hard by injuries this year (Jesse Lumsden especially) and that Casey Printers hasn't been there a full season yet - so at least there is hope for them. Hamilton also seems to have a pretty solid run defence (at least statistically) and it's always fun to watch Zeke Moreno fly around and smack people in the mouth. But their pass defence is at or near the bottom of every statistical category. Saskatchewan has lit them up like the 1st of July over the past two weeks.

Hamilton's win totals for the last six seasons are: 2 (so far this year), 4, 5, 9, 1, 7. That seems like a culture of losing to me. If I live in Hamilton and have the choice of watching a morbid Tigercats team or driving an hour or so into Toronto to see an NFL game, I'm probably not going to watch the team that has won a grand total of 28 games in 6 years. Of course I am biased in that regard and would want to watch a NFL game anyway but I do think there is a valid argument in there somewhere.

I fully admit that I do not have an intimate knowledge of the Hamilton organization but it does seem like there are some management/coaching issues there. Corey Holmes, at the time he was traded there was one of the most dynamic players in the league - only to disappear for two seasons. And now that he's back in Saskatchewan he almost looks like that same player again - at least at times. Take D.J Flick as well - suddenly out of Hamilton, Flick has become a serious threat on offence.

Obviously Saskatchewan has more talent on offence and that helps Holmes and Flick look good - but the situation in Saskatchewan should give the people of Hamilton hope. Because it's amazing what can happen when you put passionate, knowledgeable people in charge of a franchise - instead of recycling people that have been around the block 100's of times. As Kent Austin has proven, sometimes a person just needs to be given a chance (like how about Brian Towriss of the U of S Huskies).

I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, discussing a team that is 1000's of kilometers away from me. But these are the things I've been thinking about while watching Hamilton get eviscerated 2 weeks in a row - and admittedly, these are the only 2 Hamilton games I've seen this season.

Hamilton and NFL expansion might not seem connected, even after all this, but I think its all interrelated. NFL or no NFL, all 8 CFL teams need to be competitive every week. And I think that if NFL expansion is handled in an intelligent manner I don't see why the CFL and NFL can't find a way to coexist in Canada.

Perhaps the only thing more surprising than me writing a full-length CFL column today, was finding out that James Lipton used to be a French pimp.

The CFL, putting the League in Bush League since 1958

How many thousands of dollars do you think I'll get fined for that?

I really don't have much of anything to say today but I've just been awakened from a delightful afternoon nap by what sounds like a vacuum cleaner but is probably an industrial leaf blower tearing up and down the hallway of my building. So I figured I'd jump on the CFL, since this Roughrider situation really has to be one of the most ridiculous things in the history of organized sport.

And I have one question, what does the executive of the CFL do? And are they really necessary at all? I mean besides making the schedule and occasionally having to broker a T.V contract, it doesn't seem like the CFL really has any need of an executive.

Has anyone ever seen CFL commissioner Mark Cohon? Can anyone actually confirm his existence? Or is he just a fantastic creation of the imaginations of Wally Buono and Hugh Campbell? Apparently he is going to be speaking at the Plaza of Honour dinner here in Regina but I remain skeptical. I wouldn't be surprised if his appearance was cancelled at the last minute due to a "scheduling conflict."

Sure NHL commissioner Gary Bettman might have the business sense of an English Wolfhound and the loyalty of rabid Persian rat... but at least we know he exists. Bettman does occasionally leave the artificially-darkened confines of his luxurious 47th floor Mid-Town Manhattan office to hold his sensory whiskers in the wind to feel what people are saying about his little league that could.

Cohon on the other hand remains locked in semi-seclusion in a high-rise on Younge Street - issuing fines and edicts about anyone having the gall to even slightly question the League in any way. Anyone mentioning the Shreveport Pirates will be shot on sight.

I haven't seen 10 grand demanded so frivolously since Kevin Federline's child support claim.

It's becoming very, very clear that the CFL, both on the field with officiating and off the field in the executive, has no real idea what it is doing. And anybody who even asks for answers to simple questions will be fined until they shut up. I guess the good thing is that it took until the season was almost over for this ugly truth to actually come to light.

And you wonder why the League needs a gag order to prevent players and coaches from speaking out.

As far as I can tell Eric Tillman and Kent Austin simply asked for an explanation from the league as to why three of their players were ejected from the game in Hamilton. That's it. Neither called out the league or said anything 'disparaging' against the league. It was a simple question as to why the events were handled the way they were.

Of course the CFL reacted like an insecure teenager suddenly thrust into the management role at Taco Del Mar. They are so unsure of what they're doing that anybody speaking out of turn must be crushed immediately lest others find out that the people in charge have no idea what they're doing.

But this situation reeks of such gross incompetence that everybody knows what the story is now. No amount of fines, threats and warnings can take the place of actual, competent management. And until the CFL realizes this we're in for an interesting time - and we all know it...

"Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died" - Leonard Cohen

Rider Trivia Time

Because I often give the CFL a hard time, the Roughriders especially, I thought I should share a couple of interesting tidbits with you.

But first of all, if you've seen today's Leader-Post sports section, perhaps you've seen a headline on Page C2 that reads, "It Was a Fantuzik Game." Now I'm serious - what does that even mean? Was it a typo that was supposed to read, "It Was a Fantuz-tick Game"? I'm really in the dark here - somebody please help me out.

Back on track...

It comes across my desk this morning from a very reliable source that Phil Simms of CBS Sports told a little story about the Saskatchewan Roughriders during the Denver Broncos - Indianapolis Colts game yesterday. I was not watching the game myself, so this is all coming to me second hand (I cannot stand Phil Simms, so I was deliberately avoiding the Broncos - Colts game).

Anyway...

Because former Roughrider Kenton Keith is the backup running back for Indianapolis - there is usually an obligatory CFL reference or two whenever he's in the game. But because starter Joseph Addai got hurt in the fourth quarter yesterday, Keith saw some extended action.

Anyway...

The story that Simms was telling, as it was relayed to me, went that in the late 1970's or early 80's Simms - a highly regarded but not highly successful collegiate quarterback, at least statistically - was recruited quite heavily by a little CFL team called the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Apparently a former Rider quarterback named Ron Lancaster came to see Simms and he brought with him a big bag of money. As I understand it, the Roughriders actually offered Simms more money than the New York Giants did (the team that drafted him in the first round of the NFL Draft). However, Simms went to play for the Giants, won a Super Bowl and became one of the better quarterbacks to play the game.

Now perhaps this story is common knowledge among Rider fans of a certain age but I know I'd sure never heard it before. Did anyone out there have any knowledge of this prior to yesterday? Even though Simms didn't end up coming to Saskatchewan I still think it's a pretty interesting piece of Roughrider history.

The other Roughrider story I have to share is more commonly known but maybe not by much. It's about former Rider quarterback Steve Sarkisian - remember him? Do you know what his current job is? Well I'll tell you...he is the offensive coordinator for the College Football juggernaut that is the USC Trojans. Prior to that he was the quarterbacks coach for USC - guiding names like Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart to Heisman Trophy's and NFL careers. He also interviewed for the Oakland Raiders head coach position in the offseason but he decided to return to USC and dropped out of the running. USC was the #1 ranked team in the U.S until yesterday, when they dropped to #2.

Who says nothing interesting ever happens in the CFL? Oh wait...I do...

Let 'Em Know You're There!

"Get that lumber in his teeth. Let 'em know you're there!" - Player/Coach Reg Dunlop

With all the whining and complaining about the brawl between Saskatchewan and B.C on Saturday night I felt compelled to weigh in as well.

Here's what I know:

Should Sherko Haji-Rasoulli be suspended? Yes, absolutely without a doubt. One game and get it over with. Of course this will turn into an A.J Gass Arbitration Situation and if he does end up having to serve a game it won't be for a month. A further indictment of the CFL.

Should Rob Murphy be suspended? Meeehhhh......I don't know. I don't think so. A fine is probably more appropriate. Yeah he had John Chick pinned to the ground, chokehold or not, but Murphy didn't strike Chick or anything. But if Fred Perry doesn't get a fine or suspension for drilling Dave Dickenson in the chin with his helmet, who knows what's appropriate any more?

But here's what I want to know...why oh why oh why didn't any of Chick's teammates come to his defence? Murphy had him pinned to the ground and defenseless and not one of the Rider players came to help him. I think that says more about the Roughrider team than anything else I've seen or heard this year (I will admit that I didn't see the game but in the highlights I saw nobody made any attempt to get Murphy off Chick).

I realize that you don't want your team to be instigating anything and taking more penalties but you do want your team to stand up for itself - there is no way around that. And from what I saw the Roughriders did not stand up for their teammates. Someone should have been horse-collaring Murphy and sending him flying off of Chick.

I think an extra 15 yard unnecessary roughness penalty is a small price to pay for something that would undoubtedly bring the team together as a group.

But now... how would you feel if someone from the opposing team had you defenseless on the ground and not one of your teammates came to your aide? Though you may deny it, it would probably make you feel like the people around you were not people you could trust to get your back. And that is not the mentality you want on a team.

What if someone on the Riders had stood up for Chick and blasted Murphy? I think this was the moment the defence has been looking for to give themselves an identity - one of those moments where you either stand up for each other or stand down. There is no doubt in my mind that the defence could have used that as a rallying cry for the rest of the game and probably the rest of the year.

Instead the exact opposite happened, BC used the brawl as a rallying cry to come back in the game.

Make no mistake, that was a street fight and from what I saw Saskatchewan got whipped - but who knows, I could be wrong....

...Ok, I just managed to find some more video of the fight and Fred Perry tugging at Rob Murphy's arm was not an adequate response to the situation.

Anyway...the NFL Review later on today.

State of the Rider Nation Address

First of all, I'm going to preface everything I write today by saying that I didn't watch Saturday's Roughrider/Lions game - I was receiving frequent score updates during a wedding dinner I was at, much to the chagrin of some people at my table I'm sure. And because the media is so saturated with Roughrider material and coverage I generally try to stay away from talking about them too much.

But in the immortal words of Frank Costanza, "I'm back ba-by!"

When Roughrider fans are telling me that they were so depressed after the game they went home and watched United 93 to cheer up, it's time to take action.

We'll start with a story I've been meaning to share with everybody for the past week but the opportunity hasn't really presented itself until now. Here is Trevor's comment from this morning - this will all make sense in a second I promise:

"First off Alex Smith needs to be fired...His special teams coaching is absolutely horrible. Here are some examples

1) We have ran pretty much the exact same kickoff/punt return coverage since he came into the league. Anybody who watches ONE practice or watches ONE punt return will see the exact same thing over and over.

2)That blocked punt. When they were doing punting drills this past week did they forget that BC has one of the most prolific punt blockers in the league?!?! It's not like he sprung free from the side and caught someone by surprise, he ran right up the middle and Mike McCullough misses the block. Brutal preparation and brutal execution.

Also some players need to sit out this week, unfortunately due to their nationality they will likely dress for the game: Tristan Clovis and Mike McCullough. Also Sean Lucas is borderline for the missed INT that should have been run back for a TD but unless TJ Stancil is good to go he plays.

The Riders can kiss 1st place goodbye and if they are to make it to the GreyCup they're going to have to learn how to win at B.C. Place in the playoffs."

I don't know if many people saw this story or not but after last week's loss in Calgary apparently there was a rumour making the rounds that Alex Smith had been fired. You can read Rod Pedersen's description of those events right here. As someone who has recently run afoul of Rider message boarders I found it quite interesting.

Now I would love to back up the argument for Smith's dismissal with statistical evidence but you try finding accurate, easily accesible stats for the CFL. The stats page on CFL.ca lists both Jason Armstead and Corey Holmes as playing for Hamilton. And of course both of their stats include Hamilton and Saskatchewan, so I can't tell what their numbers were for each team. TSN.ca's site is much better but also has the problem of not separating the Hamilton statistics from the Saskatchewan statistics - ditto for Sportsnet.ca.

The problem may not actually lie with kick returns but kick coverage.

Smith is also the linebacker coach and when was the last time a linebacker made a play? I think Marcus Lloyd peaked last year in the Western Semi-Final in Calgary. And do you ever hear Reggie Hunt's name called during Rider broadcasts anymore?

If Smith is not shown the door, something else needs to happen.

It's becoming more and more clear that Eddie Davis' presence is missed in the secondary - if only for leadership. If Davis is in the lineup does Geroy Simon get behind everyone for the winning touchdown? I doubt it.

Apparently we shouldn't have put Marcus Adams in the Hall of Fame after Week 1...or named our NFL Fantasy league after him. Oh well, "Fans of Marcus 'Chunky' Adams" is an ironic league name now at least.

In all seriousness, what happened to Fred Perry? Does he have a nagging injury that nobody talks about? Ever since that game at home against Edmonton that they won it seems like he hasn't been the same.

Who thought it would be the defence everyone would be cursing the heavens about this year?

Saturday's game against Montreal is an absolute must-win game. With the losses starting to pile up the team is getting closer and closer to that old familiar 9-9 mark.