My Hovercraft is Full of Three-Down Football

Well since today is the start of the 2008 CFL season, I thought it would be appropriate to do the Roughrider season preview today. No, there will not be a repeat of last year's (moderately) popular prediction post - who has the time for such things?

However, it warrants mentioning that if the CFL season starts and no one sees it, did it still happen? Thank you very much SaskTel - I want my next bill to be pro-rated, to reflect the two days (and counting) my cable has not worked. Not that it's a big deal. I didn't really want to watch the Euro 2008 semi's, CFL games tonight or the NBA Draft anyway. If I'm a little testy you'll forgive me, I haven't seen a Simpsons episode in 56 hours.

Seriously, what did people do before television? Converse with one another? Have well-rounded inter-personal relationships? Read their evening newspaper by whale-oil lantern? Go outside? No thank you very much.

And while I'm complaining on the subject of things that bothering me, when did it become acceptable for fans to refer to a sports team as we? As in, "We really need a win tonight," or "we need a touchdown right here." No - they need a touchdown, you need to shove some more Dorito's into your noise hole.




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Well, I digress. On to why you're here.

I must confess that the reason I didn't write anything the Roughriders for so long is that I honestly don't have much of an idea about this team - at least nothing that I could turn into anything funny, which is generally my number one concern.

Once the season gets going I'm sure I'll have a little more material to work with - maybe Matt Dominguez complains about the health care system again, maybe Scott Schultz wins a chicken wing eating contest, or maybe Luca Congi presides at a lesbian wedding. The possibilities are endless.

The only concrete idea I had going into this post was that I thought new Roughrider head coach Ken Miller looked like the Big Lebowski from, well, The Big Lebowski.




















Which got me thinking that I would give both my kidneys to see this scene play out on the sidelines this year, with Marcus Crandell playing the role of The Dude and Ritchie Hall as Brandt.


Video NSFW, or at least turn your volume down.

"Marcus, the ********* plane has crashed into the mountain!" Seriously good times.

There is a big question on everyone's mind right now, and I know what it is - Do the Roughriders win the Grey Cup again?

If I had to guess I'd say they have a pretty good chance, somewhere around 1 in 8.

Well that's it for now - if my cable doesn't come back on soon, this is going to be the only sports I'll be watching in the near future: