Thursday, February 28, 2008

Around The Rim

Trebor's Around the Rim returns...

My computer is broken and there’s only so much that can be done at work, so this has been awhile coming and things may have changed…..

So the NBA has been busy, they could have more interest in it now than ever. I didn’t watch any of the NBA All Star stuff, well the end of the dunk competition I did see from across the room at Habanos but that doesn’t really count. Everyone has seen the impressive dunks, so no point putting them up. However, reading some of the stories over the weekend I came across this, last time I said Deron Williams could be the best point guard in the game and well he showed it at the skills comp.

So after a successful All Star game... no one killed… they continued with the active trading. It’s almost an anything you can do I can do better situation. The Lakers get big man Gasol for nothing (I have to agree with Popiwich that maybe a trade review is needed), so then Phoenix goes and gets big man Shaq, this is followed by the Spurs acquiring Kurt Thomas. Those 3 are directly related.

The other contenders weren’t just going to sit by - Dallas pulled off the Kidd trade and well, they may have taken themselves out of contention. Kidd is having a horrible scoring season and they gave up a lot. Harris is an up and coming point guard so to trade him for Kidd who has only a couple years left… it’s a big risk and we’ll see how it works out for Cuban.

Utah had already made their trade for Korver and right now it’s probably the 2nd or 3rd best move, behind Gasol and Thomas. The Hornets who still had the best record and were atop the West didn’t do anything to help their starting 5, but picking up Mike James and Bonzi Wells will definitely help their bench and they could make a Conference Finals appearance.

Houston also did something but it really didn’t make sense to me off the bat so I’ve forgotten about it already. [yesterday heard that Yao is out for season and billions wept as their hero may not make the Olympics]

The teams at the bottom??? The Kings got rid of Bibby... who cares and Seattle apparently is playing for the 2011 championship. After trading away Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis last year, they continued the trend with trading Wally and Kurt Thomas. Leaving them with Durant….. and 3 1st round picks this year and 13 picks over the next 3 years. I guess they think it’s going to be a deep draft, but without March Madness I don’t know what’s happening.

The East well… what can you say, I’m reminded of when me and my friends went to the high school dances… got all dressed up and went to the dance but realized all the gals wanted to dance with the cool kids, so we just sat at the sides watching. They are watching on the sidelines while the West improves their teams. The East is just ??? I don’t want to say bad, but the ninth place team in the West if there were crossovers like the CFL would be 3rd in the East.

Atlanta picking up Bibby I thought was a good move since they didn’t have a point guard, and their shooting % was low, so Bibby was supposed to help. Then I saw parts of a game and realized Bibby heaving up those 3’s isn’t helping. At first I thought this takes Atlanta from the 8-10 spot to 5-6 spot in the east, now… they should still make the playoffs.

Cleveland made the biggest moves. They apparently got King James some help… Wally shooting 3’s, Big Ben in there for Def. And Joe Smith for ?? Experience ?? I wont lie, I don’t like Cleveland. I don’t like James, and when I saw this the first thing I thought was why are you giving up Hughes… you only have two PG’s why trade your starter away ??

All the analysts like this trade, because Wally is one of the pure shooter types who can get 20/game and Ben can get 20 blocks a game…. Maybe not that much, but a few. King James will do the rest and that might be enough, but I don’t like the trade and hope it causes them to drop out of 4th place… so then the Raptors can get in there. I’m counting on the inconsistency that has followed Wally around in the past 4 years with 3 teams to help with their downfall.

The Raptors made a last second trade that only Raptor and Piston fans will know about. Juan Dixon, a benchwarmer got sent to the Motor City for Brezec?? I knew they needed a big man but I would have liked them get one with a bit more experience, he was a benchwarmer the first 2 years of his career. If Kurt was available that would have been nice to see him in Raptors red (what happened to the purple??), someone to guard Big Z, Howard, KG.

So now we sit back and see how the trades go, in about a month the playoff hunt will begin and we can start looking at potential match-ups. Until then maybe there will just be stories like these.

My memory is in full swing today, this story makes me think back to grade 7 basketball. In the 2nd or 3rd game we had a game where the score was like 20-4, it may have been higher but yeah everyone sucked. The first basket scored by our team…. off the tip off, buddy gets the ball drives to the lane and gets the easy lay-up…. One problem, it was on the wrong basket… and no it wasn’t me. Anyway back to the story… they are in high school so it’s ok to laugh, so what does the coach say…“this feeling right now that you guys are having about being pathetic and such, don’t worry there’s no where to go but up…. You couldn’t possibly do any worse..”

Or there’s this crushing story: With time running out in the game Sosa takes the ball to the rack, decides to reverse it and POW takes a knee to the groin. Now we all laugh when we see it all tv and all guys seem to tense up just a little when seeing it no matter how funny, but this truly was like the ultimate football in the groin. This guy stays in the game and ends up hitting the game winning shot. Later he notices something is not right down below and realizes that he may have a problem . So now people are saying that it sure took a lot of balls for him to come back…. yeah I don’t know if I can go on….. fractured…..really ???? you can do that ?? maybe our EMT guy can confirm this.

If you’re a fan of terrible TV as I am then you’ll be excited to hear about this. Apparently now they are looking to get franchises and an actual sport not TV show… maybe they will expand into Canada one day and I can show off my mad trampoline skillz.

Then keeping with hopefully a tradition here, I’ve found some more news about the girls behind the scenes… the wizzard girls aren’t so much about the stripping and such, they seem more like drink till you pass out girls… Dear diary… Jackpot…. I’m going to end it there.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Bag of Pucks You Say?... Well, We Can Always Use More Pucks

The NHL Trade Deadline has come and gone for another year - and I'm very glad I didn't take that sick day. Although I guess I could have got some cleaning done around the house, because there sure wasn't much else going on. What where there, about 20 trades... and about 4 interesting ones. Sure glad we had 127 hours of breathless TV coverage today.

I would like to take this opportunity to jump all over Leafs' GM Cliff Fletcher though. As I understand it, he was brought in to be the saviour of that franchise - or at least the guy who righted the ship.

And what where his moves to improve the team today?

Trading Chad Kilger and Wade Belak to Florida for a 3rd round draft pick and a 5th round pick, respectively. And also trading Hal Gill to Pittsburgh for a 2nd and 5th round pick.



And that's it.

Well I'm sure they'll be contending for the Stanley Cup next year with that pair of 5th round picks in their pocket.

I really can't kill Fletcher for the Gill trade, getting anything for Gill is a huge steal - never mind 2 picks. Gill skates like a phone booth. He is the one player in the NHL who skates worse than I do - and believe me, that's hard to do.

And yeah, yeah - all of the Leafs' marketable assets had no-trade clauses but that's really all Fletcher could do? At least if John Ferguson Jr. was still there you know he would have traded 17 consecutive first-round picks for Jeremy Roenick and the DNA of Michel Goulet reconstituted in a cadaver.

And now that Marian Hossa is in Pittsburgh we're suddenly handing them the Stanley Cup? Spare me. Atlanta absolutely fleeced Pittsburgh in that trade. You want to know what Hossa's career playoff stats are, I did too - so I looked them up: 55 games played... 35 points... and a minus 9.

Well I'm convinced.

Remember that this was a guy that got shipped out of Ottawa because they couldn't win with him in the playoffs. Ask anyone who had Hossa in a playoff pool last year how they feel about him... 1 point in four games. You'll forgive me if I'm skeptical.

There were a couple of other interesting deals:
Brad Richards to Dallas (has to be the most over-rated player in the league, or at least in the top 3)
Brian Campbell to San Jose (Buffalo fans are wondering why they even bother any more)
Cristobal Huet (don't understand it and Montreal didn't get enough back)

But the last thing I'm going to do is crush a deal that didn't happen - the much talked about Mats Sundin gong-show. Mats... I'm going to be blunt, as a recovering Maple Leaf fan I still have a soft spot for you, but this is bush-league. As the kids say, what's your deal?

You profess to love the Leafs' and want to win a cup there? Well, guess what - that ain't happening any time soon. So if you love the team, wouldn't you want them to get better - even if that meant you had to move on for 3 months? Now the team gets nothing for you... and who knows, maybe you don't re-sign in the summer?

Mats, you had a chance to not only go to a contender but also give Toronto a excellent chance to improve itself. And you could have had the opportunity to go right back to Toronto after the season was over.

I understand not wanting to leave Toronto but do you think Ray Bourque wanted to leave Boston? I guarantee you he didn't. But you know what he did want to do? He wanted to win. And I promise you nobody in Boston hates Bourque because he won his cup with the Avalanche instead of the Bruins... ok, it's Boston - so maybe some of them do hate Bourque.

So what do you want to do Mats?

You obviously don't want to win more than anything. And I think that's pretty telling about a guy who's the captain of a hockey team. Loyalty is one thing - but blind loyalty to a lost cause is something else.

Now I guess you play out another year or two in Toronto and ride off into the sunset as one of the most-loved Leafs' of all time.

But they don't measure the greatest players of all-time by how many teams they played for - they measure them by how many rings they have on their fingers.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Trade Deadline Tuesday

Unfortunately Mr. Sports As Life got himself a new job and can't post during the day anymore. It's not usually a big deal - but seeing as how today is NHL trade deadline day, I'm a little upset. However, in the evening I'll do a recap of all the trades - as well as savagely rip Mats Sundin for being incredibly selfish... and Swedish.

Super Jamario World

Back by popular demand...

Jamario dials the phone...

- Hello, papa? It'sa you baby boy!

- No papa, it'sa nota Giuseppe - itsa you other boy, Jamario.

- Yes papa, I'ma stilla playing the basaketball. I'a play in Toronto witha the Raptors. Do you'a not watcha me play papa?

- Yes papa I know you'a very busy witha the olive oil. Always witha the olive oil.

- No papa, I likea the basaketball - I no wanna come and'a work witha you and'a Giuseppe in'a the olive oil.

- Yes papa, I knowa Giuseppe he'a do very well ina the olive oil. Yes he gotta'a nice little'a place downa by'a the lake. I do'a ok too you knowa papa?

- Is'a mama there papa? Can I'a talk to her'a?

- Bye'a bye papa.

- ....

- Hello mama, it'sa me - Jamario!

- No mama, I no win'a the basaketball dunking show. I trya mama - I jumpa high and spina around but I stilla no wina.

- But it'sa nota my fault mama. Those'a other mena theya cheata - the one'a mana he put up'a the birthday cake'a ona the rim and he blow it'a out whena he dunka the ball. And the other he'a dressa up like'a the Superman and he flya througha the air. Howa cana Jamario compete'a with that? You'a tella me mama.

- Yes mama, I knowa I'a dishonour you'a witha not winning the'a dunking show fora you.

- But mama...

- No, I don'ta see whya this shoulda affecta the cannoli. Yesa mama, I'a see. Goodabye mama.

A dejected Jamario hangs up the phone.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

February and the Decline of Sports


Cold, windy, dark… lets just call it a miserable month and be done with it. There really aren’t any redeeming qualities to this month, so why don’t you bundle up on the couch, grab a drink and watch some sports. What’s that you say? The Super Bowl is over and there are no good sports on TV? What about the NBA? What about the NHL? What about college hoops?


That is not to say that these sports are dull all of the time, but this is a time when things really aren’t hitting stride in these respective sports. The NBA has just had their All-Star ‘Game’, which is mildly entertaining but perhaps shouldn’t really be classified as sport (unless you consider wrestling a sport and not sports-entertainment). The NBA doesn’t really get interesting until the last few weeks and the playoffs.

The NHL, well there is a whole host of problems with trying to pass the month by watching hockey (just look at our poor hockey journalist CH, who cries himself to sleep every night wondering and waiting for when hockey will be fun again), and like the NBA, doesn’t really get interesting until close to the playoffs (perhaps if they didn’t play so many damn games these earlier ones might be more interesting… and meaningful). NCAA? Come on, March Madness… need I say more… it isn’t called Fabulous February, geez.

So in light of not having any current sports to talk about this month I thought that I would try and honour a true sports fan who took his own life February 20, 2005. Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. This article is for Mr. Sports As Life, who is locked in his bunker right now waiting for the war to end, and whose journalistic hero is Dr. Thompson. I shan’t rant and rave and try and tell you all about Thompson, I could never do him justice so just read this and bask in his brilliance.

Now that was a man who can write. That was a man who was passionate about sport – and in turn passionate about sports effect on the rest of society. I suggest you follow some of the links to his other articles and just think about the talent that was lost 3 years ago.

Just two other links to remember this day while we try and get through this horrible sports month:

I don’t really like baseball that much, but with Thompson running things it may have been a little more interesting.

Lastly, here is Dr. Thompson himself…

Need I say more? So let us all remember Dr. Thompson and wait until March Madness and the resurrection of sports on TV.

Hunter Stockton Thompson
July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Around the Rim

So this weekend is the NBA All-Star Game and if it wasn’t for Jamario Moon being in the dunk competition I probably wouldn’t care. These are the guys in the competition:

Rudy Gay, Dwight Howard, Gerald Green, Jamario Moon.

The Dwight Howard dunk from last year was something else. I’m not sure if anyone else can do that but since it’s the first and only time I’ve seen it, I’m assuming not. I watch that and think of the Carter dunk… where he hung from his elbow… the crowd hushed first reaction is: that’s it... then you realize what just happened. That was one of the last times I watched the dunk competition, years past has kind of been… meh, until someone does a 720 who cares.

If I were to watch it would be for the distant hope that jamario wins... and then he turns to the camera and says ‘itsa me Jamario, ima make you a spicy pizza”… just cause. I think Rudy Gay is going to come away with it though not sure why but yeah Gay’s my man, I wonder if Brady Quinn could say such… that’s another topic. As far as the rest of the competitions go ??? who cares, but this guy was really trying to get in and it would be nice to see him get MVP.

So the other thing that’s big news right now is trades. The trade deadline is fast approaching and I think there will be some movement at the end.

We’ve seen Pau Gasol go to the Lakers and make them a favorite. We’ve all heard that Big Daddy Diesel is going to Phoenix, and still not sure about the impact. The other notable move was Utah picking up Kyle Korver, so now the Boodozer can kick it out. Deron Williams could be one of the best point guards but getting a pure shooter will put them in contention this year. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the Warriors picked up Chris Webber and I’m not seeing a big upside for them on this but hey what do I know.

So the West has done everything thus far… and I think the other teams will have to as well. San Antonio has pretty much the same squad (they signed Mighty Mouse last week) as last year. Though they won, who knows… if Horry doesn’t hip check Nash then maybe they don’t even make it out of the 2nd round.

I don’t know what they could do though, Duncan is the Franchise and Parker is the future, maybe Manu… no probably not. Not much else for supporting cast so they may stay the same for another year

Dallas is the next top team and they need help. Dirk has yet to prove himself in the playoffs and they need someone with some toughness. I could see them getting rid of one of their young guards and a F/C, move Howard to small forward and bring in a point guard.

That point guard is Jason Kidd. Mark Cuban has come out and said it’s not going to happen unless there’s a 3rd team involved. But, I don’t know who else is out there that can help them though and with the other teams making moves surely Cuban can see he needs to do something.

Here’s the other thing - apparently Kidd’s agent has now told the Nets that if they send him to a lottery team, he will direct his clients away from New Jersey. I really hope that the media just made this up cause if not... for shame, you go to whoever is paying you. You think Shawn Marion was happy about going to Miami? Well the girls are probably better in Miami, but Phoenix has a shot…But speaking of girls…this has nothing to do with bball but I feel it’s a good read.

Who am I kidding I didn’t read a word. The site has got me feeling guilty about opening it up at work. To stay on topic or something... brain no work properly... I have a new reason to follow the Sacramento Kings, well I still wont but knowing this is out there, well it’s not that shocking… only the fact that the other one isn’t doing that herself. I will make no comment on the opening pic cause I know the other readers are far more witty and I expect something clever…

Anyway back to Dallas needing a point guard. Maybe Sam “I am” Cassell. Recently it came out that he wants the Clippers to buy him out so he can go play with the Celtics. There’s probably a few players out there saying the same thing Sam and this isn’t going to help your cause. Maybe his thought process was If I take out the Celtics point guard they will have to look around to fill the spot… whack

In the East I don’t expect much. Boston, Detroit are at the top and the other teams are more than a few pieces away from competing. The Raptors... I’d like to see them get a center. Andrea is tall, but he plays on the perimeter and they need an inside presence on defense and a rebounder. Could have Calderon handling the rock, Bosh at small forward, andrea at power forward and then have Delfino for scoring or Parker for def.

Marcus Camby is out there, though he already came and left Toronto, but with Denver possibly looking to keep pace with the West, they need someone who can play defence so who knows.

Ed. Note: It appears that Jason Kidd has now been traded to the Dallas Mavericks:

Monday, February 11, 2008

All Aboard The Crazy Train

There's a rumour going around that next week Luke is going to return from wandering in the wilderness - until then however, TH continues to shoulder the load...

I went to a charity hockey game this past weekend, and I must say that it was… well, a little dull. Aside from seeing old guys who are past their prime try to relive their glory days, there was one thing lacking. Can you guess what it was? Hitting, fighting, you know... a little passion. Which got me to thinking – ok you can all stop laughing now – there is acceptable violence in sport and then there is crossing the ‘line’. But is there a clear cut ‘line’ not to cross? So I racked my brains for a few good examples of people going crazy, above and beyond the call of crazy duty. I hope you enjoy these I know I had a good chuckle while watching them.

Now I know not everyone knows who Eric Cantona is, so here is a little introduction to him. But you know when something just goes snap? When that little voice of reason is out for a coffee break? Well check this out. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves “He knows kung-fu”, I wonder what that guy said to make him want to kick him in the face… not just punch him in the face, but take a running/flying kick at this head.

Which leads into our next crazy contestant quite nicely. Now Zinedine Zidane was arguably the greatest player of his time, if you don’t quite know what he was capable of then take a look-see here. (Ed Note: After watching that video, this post was edited while wearing my Zidane jersey). Now that is why they call it the beautiful game, that sh*t gives me goose-bumps (some people say goose pimples, but I am not sure why… but I digress). I hope you took the time to watch it, because people will only remember him for this. Seriously, people say bad things to about my sister all the time, I don’t go around head-butting them (I guess it helps that I don’t have a sister).

At this point you may be saying to yourself "those silly Europeans, always going crazy and what not. It’s a good thing we saved their ass in WWII”, but don’t worry your little dullard heads, North Americans can go just as crazy as anyone. Heck we do it bigger and better than anyone. I know you all like basketball, I know I find it really boring but you may not… but I do recall watching this beauty of craziness on the news channels for about 4 months. I am sorry about the stupid music, I would have thought that I could find a clip of just the game commentary but alas, I am lazy and just linked the first clip I could find. But seriously, who is more crazy, the fans for trying to fight pro athletes, or the athletes for going after fans who may sue them? Ponder that if you will.

Ah so you are saying it’s just those young pups that like to get into the crazy juice and be hooligans. But I would argue that even those who are hundreds of years old and held together with tape and glue get a little crazy now and again… a certain Mr. Zimmer comes to mind. When you are 70+ are you going to run at a man 1/3 of your age and try and fight him? I think not. But thanks to Don Zimmer, we all now know what will be the result of such an action. Hilarity at its finest. Thank you insane Zimmer, you made me smile.

But all of the previous examples are just ‘haha-type’ crazy, then there are those who are just fu*kin’ crazy. Do you remember Mike Tyson? You ever wonder where he is now? Probably picking fights with gorillas at his local zoo. But his fight with Evander ‘the real deal’ Holyfield and the infamous ear bit will go down in infamy as just one of those ‘did he really just do that’ moments in sport history. I forgot that he had taken a practice bite before the main coarse, and did one of the commentators just compare him to Dracula? How does somebody justify an ear bite you may ask? Well here is the answer. Now go lock your doors and always walk the streets with a buddy, Mike Tyson’s current location is not known.

I know you all were waiting for me to bash hockey, but I thought that that might be way too easy (plus hockey has its own dedicated writer here at Sports As Life… but I think that he is busy with real work so I will throw in the obligatory weekly hockey clip). And who is the lucky winner this week? Why it’s crazy Chris Simon just back from his stint on Broadway in the smash hit Stomp. Stomping on someone is bad enough, but with a blade tied to your foot? Freakin’ crazy.

I feel like I am picking on the players of the games a little too much right now. You know that the testosterone is running high, the adrenalin is kicking in, so I think that we can forgive (somewhat) a few incidences of players boarding the train to Crazytown… but what of the fans?

Haven’t you ever been sitting there at a game and some guy/girl is just going nuts – they could be a fairly normal person outside of this sporting event, or not – and they are saying things that would make a person with tourettes blush. But what happens when they cross the line? Well they do stupid things like this. Seriously, what can you say? I thought that I was helping the team out by getting in the penalty box and trying to fight their tough-guy? Maybe the drunker you get the better your team plays?

I think that there should be some kind of experiment done to that effect… I am willing to go out on a limb and volunteer the whole Sports As Life staff (dependant on the ok from Mr. Editor) for the drunkness-to-success-in-sport experiment. You may not hear from us in a couple of months.
There are so many clips out there, and these are just a few that came to my mind when I thought about this when I was supposes to be watching old dudes play hockey – man, is it me or is hockey really boring 90% of the time?

There are a lot of crazy people getting paid a lot of money to play a game. These people are very lucky, they get to do what most of us just dream of doing for a career – now I know that they have, mostly, sacrificed a great deal to be where they are, but that does not excuse them from being decent human beings and acting in a way that is acceptable to our societal norms (or at least within the rules of their respective sports). Too often do we just shrug our shoulders and excuse their actions because they are ‘professional’ athletes.

People are allowed to make mistakes, but when people like Simon, Artest, Tyson, (Vick?) and their lot are continually doing what they do/did, when do we as a society say enough is enough? I am not saying jail (although in many instances that may be a good place for them), but do we withdraw the right – for it is a right – to play their respective sport?

If you went into work and had a bad day and go and bite off your bosses ear do you think that you can go into work the next day? If your sales department gets into a brawl with your financial branch do you think that all you will get is a few fines? If actions aren’t deemed acceptable in everyday life, then how come we give so much slack – I realize that they are playing sport and physicality is part of the game, but as this article has demonstrated, or at least I hope that it did – to these so called professionals? If you are a professional then act like it.

Oh, I don’t want to end on such a harsh note, so here is a mascot fight… seriously, mascots are so silly. I hope that this is the first in a long line of crazy train articles, feel free to write one, I think that the theme is pretty self explanatory – have fun with it, I know that I did.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

If You Are Easily Influenced, Do Not Read This...

Or, How TH Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Terrible Advertising...

I can’t believe it - there has been nothing on this site written about the most holy-of-holies: the Superbowl (I bet you thought that I was going to say Lent, or Ash Wednesday, or that day that you gorge yourself on pancakes… no, wait I think that last one is related to the Superbowl). But I am not going to write about the game, I think that anyone who watched the game will be duly impressed by what was possibly the best 4th quarter of football that has happened in the last 10 years. No, I am going to talk about the ads (and seriously that is what most people are really watching the game for)… except all of those people who are stuck watching local ads for battery stores and some discount pizza shack (thank-you CRTC).

Now, I am not saying that all the commercials are good. In fact this was a fairly weak year for ads, although there were some hi-lights. If you haven’t seen any of the ads then please lookie here: Just in case you were wondering I think that the T-Mobile ad is the best… oh, and I never want to eat another Planter's nut again in my life.

I must say that the idea for this column was taken from a radio segment I heard last week that was talking about how people over-eat around the Superbowl – surprise, surprise – and what was being advertised. Now I took a look at that list I gave you and this is what I came up with:

I am going to the grocery store to by some gum, some Coke and Pepsi, and some Planter's Nuts (which I will never, ever buy again) and some Lifewater and/or vitamin water and/or G2 and some Red Bull-like Amp. Then off to the liquor store to by some Budweiser (a lot since they got on four ads), now after I have gotten drunk and all sugared up then I can stumble over to my computer and make some E-trades and look at some cars online. Hopefully I have made some money with my trades so I can buy that Audi or Toyota that I have always wanted (heck, I might even include that Garmin GPS thing in the car and some nice Bridgestone tyres). I could also go out and buy some Victoria secret stuff for all of my lady friends (I can assume that the women will be crawling all over me since I have so much money from my online trading).

However, I think that my online trade intelligence is nil and since I am probably drunk with all that Budweiser I will have no money left, so I can go to and find a good job to get me out of hock. And with debt in mind I could go to and sell all of my worldly goods. I could then phone all of my friends on my T-Mobile phone and ask them to Fedex me some money ASAP. Then when I realize what kind of sh*t I am in I will probably vomit on myself (as I am filled with so much liquid, gum and gross nuts) and then clean myself up with a Tide-to-Go thing.

Nice, what-a-day, what-a-day. There is not one thing on that list that is useful let alone practical. Heck, there weren’t even any store advertisements, no movie ads and no real food ads (healthy or not). Now I like Superbowl ads, but what are we trying to sell people? I think that they should put some ads in for the healthcare system, or maybe a life-insurance company to let your family bury your fat, broke ass.

Well I am beginning to ramble at this point and thoughts like this could get me blacklisted (the Planters people are probably trying to locate me at this moment and make me look at that woman in the ad again… yuck).

With football over I guess I am going to have to find a new sport to watch until the autumn. Curling maybe? Perhaps some wacky European sport? Any suggestions on what I should occupy my sports time with now that the NFL is in hiatus (I guess that there is always the Pro Bowl). Hey, I could always watch the NHL… HA!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

There's No Accounting for Taste - Fatherhood Edition

Trebor is still watching bad T.V so that you don't have to...

Alright, so last week instead of watching The Moment of Truth I watched Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood. Great choice! I’ve always been a Snoop fan. One of my first CD’s was Doggystyle, which I still love by the way. Then he was gone for awhile, possibly in jail??

He came back without the gangsta' stuff and was just a really tall black man who smokes a lot of weed, out to have a good time. He started making up his own language... for shizzah my nizzah. And the videos/songs he came out with were just fun... S-N-double O-P-D-O-double gizee … I wonder if he started the whole spelling as a means of singing that Fergi Ferg does in every song now.

Anyway back to Snoop and the cameras… this isn’t his first stint… he had the whole Girls Gone Wild thing a couple years ago. He toured around in a black bus, and I think the videos were called Snoop Dogg’s Dogpound or Doggystyle… something like that. In this one he’s on A&E with his wife and 3 kids.

I missed the first 2 episodes but this one was called Bend it Like Snoop. He’s trying to teach his kids how to play fooootball (soccer), but they prefer football. Snoop kept calling it fooootball, really dragging out the double o’s. So to try and get his kids interested there was a thing with Beckham.

However, the thing that had me laughing and will ensure I watch it again was this: at the beginning his wife calls a meeting with all the assistants and help and managers. The jist of it is that she doesn’t like Snoop eating all that Roscoe’s Chicken she wants her family to start eating better and it starts with him.

Well let me tell you, Snoop likes his chicken and when the assistant says how about some sushi instead… his reaction was what you would expect… sushi, do I look like I want to eat some dead fish or whatever it is, get me some Roscoe’s… there’s a few... well lots of words that were beeped out.

Some other stuff happens and in the end he goes to Roscoe’s to show Beckham what good food tastes like. He starts ordering the potatoes and gravy and lots of chicken and at the end, egg whites “my wife wants me to start eating healthy so I’ll just get the whites”

Waitress comes out puts a plate of salad in front of Snoop and “ what the… where’s my chick…” he looks up to see that it’s his wife. Now was it expected probably, but when they were showing Beckham, with the please get me out of here face, it was pretty good.

Snoop tried backpeddaling with, I did order healthy stuff... Beckham what did I order ??? “He ordered egg whites” - that’s the only thing David said throughout the entire exchange. The rest of the time he just looked down and ate his salad.

So I recommend checking this show out, you're sure to get a laugh or two.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

There Will Be No Encore

As today is the one year anniversary of the first real post on Sports As Life, I suppose it's kind of fitting that I (Luke) am taking an extended hiatus from Sports As Life. I'm hoping it's not going to be a permanent leave of absence but one never knows. It's taken a lot of energy to keep this thing running on a (mostly) daily basis and I must admit that I'm burned out and really need a break.

In the meantime I've given the keys to Sports As Life to Cooper, Jeff K, Trebor, CH and TH so they can continue to post if they so desire - although there is no expectation on them. So there might still be stuff to read but maybe there won't be - I guess you'll just have to keep coming back and checking.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Around the Rim

Your intrepid editor has been down with a cold the last few days, and as a result hasn't been able to put two coherent sentences together - not that that's any different than usual. But here's Trebor to save the day with Around the Rim. However, I do have a link for you this morning. You Chris Berman apologists out there might not want to watch, as it will ruin him for you. However, people like me think it's hilarious. So here's Berman flipping his comb-over (there is some strong language in the clip - so if you're at work, make sure you turn the volume way, way up).

So last time I got some flack for saying Noah’s hair is like a known Patty-Mayo. It was much deserved, cause it really wasn’t close - but this week how about this guy. He could be out for the season, so his early season hold-out for more money could be good for him - in the sense that he gets paid for sitting around. Though what are the chances of Cleveland keeping him around now ???

So sticking with the Patty-Mayo. How’s about OJ Mayo... not the best name for someone living in California but hey he is the best player out there period. I mean look at the 1:25 mark he has literally grabbed the sun in the palm of his hands and transformed into a basketball. Either that or ESPN thinks that people need help following the ball. Bright yellow for a shot, blue for a pass. Then at the 3:30 mark after watching all the clips of how great he is I’m reminded of Michael Jordan... maybe OJ is the next one.

I’m really not sure if he's better than Lebron but playing to bigger highschool crowds than Bron Bron does help though. However, the NBA went and changed the rules and now you have to attend 1 year of college, so we have to wait.

OJ signed with USC this past fall and I saw the article about a week ago but now with all the news I can't find it. Apparently he just got caught accepting tickets to a Nuggets game from Carmelo. And with the Reggie Bush thing still hanging over their head, USC might come down on this poor guy. So now Google gives 60 pages on this incident but the one I wanted is lost… the article talked about USC was his choice, he recruited himself. He wanted to play for Tim Floyd but also says he is going to resurrect the PAC-10 and turn USC into a powerhouse. The other reason he wanted to play there was to be in the spotlight and what better place than LA. Though he is eligible for the draft this year, so could be a quick stint with the Trojans

The reason you might remember this guy is because of this little incident. Now the ref clearly got lessons from Ginobili, but this guy’s attitude could be interesting to watch once he reaches the bigtime.

Keeping with college, it is just too funny to let this slide by. I don’t see the problem with making a player suck his thumb, he shouldn’t have been acting like a baby. In my day coach would have made me wear diapers, thrown a bonnet on my head and… I can't continue, the memories are to harsh…

So there is some news, the Grizzlies have released Damon Stoudamire. I wasn’t aware that he was still playing. Anyway, some of you might be saying who? But when I first heard this I was like, Mighty Mouse in on the way …to Boston that is. Check out the 38 sec mark… I thought they only built bridges like that in Quebec. Anyway, Damon was the first ever pick for the Toronto Raptors. He went on to win Rookie of the year and because of his short staus (5’10”) and the tat on his arm, he got the name Mighty Mouse.

Well he got too big for T.O and left to go ???... become the most hated Raptor ever. However, Vince Carter soon followed in the footsteps and took the title. I remember a cheese stick commercial that was done. I’m sure it’s out there and not just a memory in the head. But Youtube could not help me on this one, maybe some readers could help with this.

And because the Mighty Mouse song got stuck in my head and led me astray to numerous clips, here you go. If you do enough searching you can find a great impersonation of Johnny Cash.