Monday Headlines - In Pictures

I have a feeling this is the form the Monday Headlines are going to take from now on - because, well, it's easier and much more fun for me.

It's a Boston v. New York Super Bowl - And Fox Couldn't Be More Ecstatic

Over/under on number of Red Sox/Yankee montages we see on Super Sunday: 1,327. Take the over. At least Terry Bradshaw won't have to learn any new names or places on the map to stammer his way through some Super Bowl analysis.

Archie Manning Phones Mr. Brady; Tells Him That Tom's Been Being Mean to Archie's Boys

Listen Archie, I hear what you're saying. But it's not Tom's fault that he's developed faster than Peyton and Eli. Sometimes he just doesn't know his own strength. Don't worry, I'll have a talk with him about it though.

Ever-Defiant Rivers - "We'll Get Them Next Week!"

I will admit that the Pats/Chargers game was much closer than I thought it would be. And if San Diego had remembered that touchdowns are worth 6 points, not just 3 - it might have been a different game. Too bad nobody told LT this was a playoff game.

Eil Wondering if Phoenix Has Got Stuff To Do There

Non-Football Related Headline - Hockey in Fact

I think the fact that the Team Formerly Known as the Toronto Maple Leafs is in shambles is hilarious - except maybe to people in Toronto. Yet 175% of media coverage is about the Turmoil in Toronto. I haven't seen this much attention paid to suspect hockey since Elsinore Brewery played the Royal Canadian Institute for the Mentally Insane.

That Other Shoe Finally Dropped; And Old Habits Die Hard

As much as it pains me to admit, I think the Giants will probably give the Patriots a better game.

Monday Headlines (on Tuesday)

Norv Turner Just Informed His Team Has More Games to Play

So the Chargers are headed to the AFC Championship game eh? Let me just say for the record that I will be a Patriots fan for that day. I'll be rooting for the Chargers to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Don't get me wrong, San Diego is a nice team with some very good players - I really like LT and Antonio Gates. However, Philip Rivers is taking prickishness to a whole new level. I should state that I didn't see all the Indy/San Diego game, but I have it on good authority that Rivers decided to taunt Colts fans while he was injured on the sidelines - and Billy Volek was leading the game winning drive. (I have since seen the footage) I could never in good conscience put my support behind a team lead by such an insufferable infant. I hope Rivers heals in time to play in Foxboro, just so we can see him get his comeuppance. Comeuppance!

Check out this post on Kissing Suzy Kolber - it sums Rivers up perfectly. The post is R-rated, so proceed with caution. And thanks to Trebor for sending it along to me.


Phil Simms Calls Patriots Game; Brings Self to Orgasm

Is there no way that CBS can get someone besides Phil Simms to do colour commentary for Patriots games? Please? Simms' blatant fanboy style makes Bob Cole look fair and impartial by comparison. If it were possible for Tom Brady to impregnate a man - instead of, you know, actresses and supermodels - Simms would be sending more flowers and chocolates to Gillette Stadium than the front office could process.

Watching a completely dominant and unstoppable Patriots team is bad enough as it is - do we really need the broadcast team to be cheering for them as well?

Simms might tolerable if he could actually speak English - but whatever he's speaking, that ain't English. Is it too much to ask for networks to employ personalities who can actually speak the language. See: Smith, Emmitt.

Why I'm No Longer Welcome at the YMCA

Because of some deluded notion about self-improvement, I found myself at the local Y on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to the advancements in modern science, I was able to watch the first quarter of the Green Bay/Seattle on the little TV attached to my Elliptical Machine.

However, due to Ryan Grant's 2 fumbles in the first 6 nanoseconds of the game, and my subsequent stream of questionable language, I was nearly force off the premises. But as they say, the cream always rises to the stop and Seattle was beaten like a gong for the final 55 minutes of the game. Shaun Alexander's 20 yards and 2.2 yard average brought joy to my heart.

And speaking of bringing joy to my heart - that was a football game wasn't it? Driving snow in Lambeau Field and Brett Favre making one of the great plays I've ever seen. Watching that game reminded me why I love sports. Sometimes I need that reminder with all of the other garbage in sport.

Do you realize that if not for those 2 early fumbles, the final score would have been 42-6? Although I think there's a principle in physics that says changing one aspect of an event will ultimately change the final result. Maybe that's Occam's Razor. Or maybe it's the one about the cat in the box.


Mexico: Not Just For Violent Stomach Ailments Anymore

Now it's also the place to go before you put together a textbook football choke-job. The New York Giants are now going to the NFC Championship game... I'll just let that sink in for a second. At least the league's Mandatory Manning in a Championship Game policy is being followed to the letter. Sponsors and talking-heads will be over-joyed. Unfortunately it's the Frank Stallone of Mannings... Elisha.

How the Giants continue to play in the post-season is just beyond me. Yes I know it's probably just denial, but they're not really that good are they?

But that was more a case of the Cowboys losing the game than the Giants winning it, right? Since Jessica Simpson has already disgraced the careers of Tom Wopat and John Schneider, she can now add Tony Romo to that list. I'd add Nick Lachey, but he never had a career in the first place. BAM!

Monday Headlines (NFL Playoff Edition)

Well the on again, off again Sports As Life holiday hiatus is now officially over. We're rested, re-dyed and ready to work... at least I am anyway. Cooper is MIA and probably lost somewhere in the wilds of Southern Manitoba... so don't hold your breath about getting a college football National Championship preview today.


I'd Like a Tom Collins With a Side of Self-Destruction
So because it was Saturday, I was asleep in the late afternoon... it was the weekend, I don't carry any guilt with it. By the time I finally woke up, the Seattle/Washington game was in the 4th quarter and Washington somehow had a 14-13 lead (apparently they'd just scored 2 quick touchdowns). As my eyes started to regain some focus I saw Matt Hasselbeck throw an interception, giving the Redskins a chance to kill some clock and increase their lead. However, Todd (Tom) Collins proceeded to remind us all why he's a career backup. I was a little groggy still but I'm pretty sure Collins threw 12 straight interceptions for touchdowns and the final score was 177-14, thus fueling my hatred for Seattle to an even more ridiculous level. The Seahawks better get exposed in Green Bay as the frauds I'm pretty sure they are. And will someone please throw some batteries at Shaun Alexander already - c'mon!

You Know What Else Goes Nicely With Self-Destruction? Roethlisbergers
Mmmm... Roethlisbergers. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. The game that I thought might be the worst of the weekend turned out to be the only really good game - and of course it was the only one I wasn't able to watch... at least the second half anyway. I was thoroughly enjoying the jack-booting that Jacksonville was giving Pittsburgh in the first half. Unfortunately, I felt obligated to go play goalie (soccer people insist I call it keeper - whatever, what do soccer people know - they like soccer) for my indoor soccer team. And all I got out of that was a bruised ego and a hyper-extended elbow, which has left me with little more than a deformed claw where my left arm used to be. So because of all this I missed Pittsburgh's second-half comeback and Jacksonville's game-winning field goal. Soc-cer!!

Just Another Reason to Hate Joe Buck
As if you needed one. It is entirely Buck's fault that the Giants were able to beat Tampa yesterday. The Bucs had just gone up 7-0 and Elisha Manning was looking like his usual frightened-puppy self, when Buck made a comment to the effect of, the Giants need to establish the run because they won't be able to win without it. Read: Eli Manning isn't very good. The words were barely out of his mouth and Manning had turned into John Elway - ok Elway might be a stretch... let's say Jim Miller. The Giants never looked back, winning 24-14. The only positive to come out of this was listening to Buck back-peddling for the better part of the second quarter. Hi-larious. Are you prepared for Giants/Cowboys III?

If Two Teams Play and Nobody Watches - Does the Winner Still Advance?
Luckily for everyone, the San Diego/Tennessee game was cancelled due to lack of interest. What...? Oh, I'm told they did decide to play after all. This really puts a dent in my theory that the Universe revolves around me and my interests. Because I didn't watch one second of this game, I've had to rely on outside sources. I'm told San Diego won 17-6. The game included a phantom Ladanian Tomlinson touchdown, Norv Turner shamelessly flaunting his timeouts, and Phil Simms advocating that San Diego take a timeout to decide on a challenge - however, that timeout was their last and using would mean they're unable to challenge the play. Can someone remind me why anyone thinks having former players in the broadcast booth is a good idea? I'm serious.

Monday Headlines

Here are today's Headlines. There will be no Headlines today, as I really don't have anything to say about anything other than football - and I'll do that tomorrow.

Actually I do have one thing to say today and it is this - Who are you and what have you done with the Calgary Flames?

Also, if the Price is Right tries to give you "a new car" - I would deliberately lose at Plinko if I were you.

Anyway, instead of your normally scheduled Headlines we're going to kick off the College Football Bowl Season. Between Cooper and myself we're hoping to have a preview or review of most of the Bowl games. First up is the Poinsettia Bowl on Thursday night. Here's Cooper's preview:


After a month-long hiatus I am finally back with my review of the upcoming Bowl Season, severed hand and all. This first Bowl game of the season is the San Diego Country Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (Even Jenna Jameson says that is a mouthful) Oh Snap! The Poinsettia Bowl is Dec 20th @ 9pm live from, I am assuming Qualcomm Stadium, home of the Chargers.

This year's version of the Poinsettia Bowl pits the University of Utah Utes (8-4), the 3rd place team from the Mountain West Conference up against the Naval Academy Midshipmen (8-4) who are an independent entry. I was not able to catch any Utah games this year but I did watch two Navy games, one in which they ended a 43 year losing streak against Notre Dame and the other was the Army-Navy game.

Navy is a fun team to watch. They run a very entertaining old school option style offense similar to the one used by Nebraska (when they were actually good). Navy will have an assistant as the head coach for this game after the former head coach Paul Johnson pulled a Bobby Petrino and dashed for Georgia Tech after the final game of the season. But as usual all of that “trivial” stuff like stats and trends and talent go by the wayside. The only thing that truly matters when breaking down a game is breaking down the mascot match-up.

The Utes are named after a tribe of local Native Americans that a group of Mormons most likely slaughtered in the 1800’s and then decided they were good enough to name a football team after.

On the other side, the Midshipmen represents a naval officer of the absolute lowest rank, who is most likely happens to be gay. And here is a link to their fight song. Apparently they have a former Ute on their team.

I have to tip my hat on this one to Navy. A group of native Americans who were most likely slaughtered is no match for a group of gay old salts.

Monday Headlines

I know everyone is caught up in the wonderful world of jurisprudence (Robert Pickton, Conrad Black, Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, and apparently the Mayor of Ottawa) but here are a few other things to read today...

Sidney Crosby Single-Handedly Cures Western Alienation

See - it was never about being over-looked by the Federal Government, people in Western Canada just wanted to see them some Sidney Crosby. And now that they have I don't think we'll be hearing any more complaints about equalization or resource revenue. No, we'll still be too lost in his dreamy gaze to think of anything else. Except maybe how inappropriate a sign has to be for it to be too inappropriate for a hockey game.

The Predators Stay in Nashville - Much to the Disappointment of People in Nashville

Evidently the Nashville Predators have finally been sold - pending a vote on the lease. I suspect people will be flocking to the Sommet Center (it'll always be the Gaylord Entertainment Center to me) to watch Radek Bonk light the lamp for years to come. What's the over/under on how long it takes before the Predators are up for sale again - 3 years? I'm shocked that people aren't trampling one another to buy tickets for a 10th place hockey team. Wait, what? Nashville is one point ahead of Calgary you say? Oh... snap...

Hockey Headlines More Difficult to Make Up Than One Might Think

To quote Jules Winnfield, "I'm trying real hard..." but this being interested in hockey thing is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I'm sticking with it but it has not been a cakewalk thus far.

In Actual News...

While I was writing this (phoning it in), Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison.

Monday Headlines

Things to read on the least productive workday in the history of Saskatchewan (soon to be surpassed by next Monday):

Let the Mass Honking of Car Horns Begin!

And the profanity-laced victory rants on post-game call-in shows! Yes, the Saskatchewan Roughriders are going back to the Grey Cup. Cue the vindictive, gloating emails. With an effort that can best be described as "victorious", Saskatchewan defeated B.C in yesterday's Western Final. Although this year's Western Final should maybe have determined the league champ - as Winnipeg is going to have a very tough time overcoming Kevin Glenn's broken arm. I believe the American's have POWs... whoops, "enemy combatants"... in Guantanamo Bay who are more comfortable than Dave Dickenson was in the pocket yesterday. And yes, I'm of the mind that if you have a war on terror joke, you must use it. I think Saskatchewan opens as at least a 10 point favorite over Winnipeg.

You Know What's Great For Getting in the Heads of the Opposition?

Questioning the sexuality of their star players. That always works. How about this Facebook group claiming that Milt Stegall enjoys the company of men? Or this one claiming the same thing about Geroy Simon? Clearly that one worked like a charm. If you want some real enlightened discussion, check those out. But if spelling errors, capital letters and exclamation points are more your thing then this is the group for you.

Bill Belichick Proves the Existence of the Little Man Complex (And Also Kills the Easter Bunny)

Obviously due to his own height deficiencies, Patriots' coach Bill Belichick must now prove his worth as a man by running up the score on hapless opponents. Also known as the Napoleon Complex, the Little Man Complex affects certain height disadvantaged individuals, making them attempt to take revenge on a world they feel has done them wrong. After the Patriots win the Super Bowl in February, Belichick will set out to prove he is greater than even Napoleon himself - by conquering Russia during the winter. Actually, look for a post later this week outlining why New England's vendetta-offence is actually good for the NFL.

Revisionist History 101

For those of you interested, and there were some asking, Cooper did send in his College Football picks this week. But I was too busy/lazy (take your pick) to write something up for them. So here they are, only 3 days too late.
Michigan - Lost, 14-3
Georgia - Won, 24-13
Notre Dame - Won, 28-7
Penn State - Lost, 35-31
Purdue - Lost, 27-24
Cal - Lost, 37-23
LSU - Won, 41-24
So he was 3-4 this week, bringing his totals for the year to something like 5-126.

The Fine Line Between Heroism and Stupidity

Every year there are many, many severe knee injuries in football - both professional and collegiate. The usual diagnosis would sound like this, "He tore his ACL and he'll be out for the year." People don't tear their ACL and continue playing do they? Well apparently they do, as we found out this weekend when the news came out that University of Oregon quarterback, and Heisman Trophy hopeful Dennis Dixon played Thursday night's game on a completely torn ACL. Of course he was knocked out of the game against Arizona because of his knee. But still, I think that's a pretty impressive feat.

Monday Headlines (on Tuesday)

File This One Under "Because I Feel Obligated"

I mean really, what can I say about the Saskatchewan/Calgary game that hasn't already been said? The Roughriders played a strong game, by no means flawless - but it was enough to beat a hapless Calgary team. The problem of not being able to put the ball into the endzone did not bite them against Calgary but it will against B.C if the Roughriders cannot get that figured out. Let's be honest - that game should have been 20-0 within about the first 5 minutes. The lack of a healthy running back might be a problem - Wes Cates is hobbled, Josh Ranek is concussed and Corey Holmes has a bad wing. I'm hoping for a lot of Henri "Jackie" Childs in B.C - only because I can then make that joke 182 times during the game. Although it's no replacement for my Kenton Keith assaults the secondary joke... I miss him. I might actually write more in-depth about the game later in the day.

That Other Regina Team That You Didn't Hear About This Weekend

Yes - the Regina Rams. They did not fare as well this weekend as their professional counterparts. I suspect only having 36 rushing yards and 168 passing yards had something to do with that. Oh and 12 first downs. And 3 interceptions. The final was 48-5 for Manitoba.

Sean Avery Outta Be Euthanized For the Good of the Human Race

And I'm only half kidding about that. If the rumours are true... and knowing Avery's history... they probably are and Avery was indeed mocking Toronto's Jason Blake before Saturday night's game because he has cancer - then there is not enough ill in the world that could befall Avery. I understand that in sports you try to get in your opponents' head and get the upperhand however you can - but surely some things are out of bounds. If this is considered acceptable behaviour I might have to tender my resignation as a hockey fan - at least until, like Wade Belak says, someone "kills" Avery. I thought Jordin Tootoo was currently the biggest disgrace on skates but this vaults Avery to the top. If the rumours are true of course...

Now With 15% Less Dogfighting on 2-Game Winning Streak

I don't really have anything else to add this morning - so I'd thought I'd gloat that my Fantasy Football team was won 2 games in a row - bringing my record for the season to 2-8. Outstanding, so much for 0-14. And not only that but this weeks' win was over Sports As Life's own College Football "expert" Cooper. This coming one week after Cooper put his entire team on the trading block due to gross incompetence, right across the board. I'd like to thank the San Diego defence for their 6 interceptions and 2 special teams touchdowns - your efforts were greatly appreciated.

Back In Business

"Welcome back, To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back."
- Welcome Back Kotter

Yes we're back in business at Sports As Life. So much has happened in the last ten days that, instead of the usual Monday Headlines, I thought I'd do a little bit on each story - or at least all the stories I can remember. So if you were hoping for a Dot, Dot, Dot column today - you're in luck.

... First of all is the Roughrider playoff ticket fiasco. Here's what I know: you have to give season ticket holders, shareholders and flex-pack holders first crack at tickets - there has to be some incentive for buying these things. I imagine season ticket sales are going to increase substantially next year - with more home playoff games seemingly on the horizon people are not going to want to take a chance on missing out again. But here's the rub - there's no way a person should have been allowed to buy up to 6 playoff tickets. That's ridiculous. By limiting each person to 4 tickets the team could have made sure more people had access to tickets. A lower ticket limit would also keep tickets off eBay - as there have been hundreds and hundreds of playoff tickets on there since they went on sale - here are the current listings (hopefully this link will work, eBay links have a tendency to expire).

The eBay problem is tough because there is a market for scalped tickets, so people are going to gouge as much as they can. If the Roughriders want to get serious about electronic ticket scalping they need to revoke the season tickets of anyone caught putting their tickets on eBay. Don't think it can be done? The New England Patriots recently won a court case against online ticket broker StubHub (which is owned by eBay) that forced StubHub to give up the names of everyone buying and selling Patriots tickets - check it out. Obviously you can't do anything about the people that bought the public tickets. But if people are putting their season tickets up for auction - as Tony Kornheiser would say - they should be punished to the fullest extent of the law and their season tickets should be revoked

... How about that hit on Boston's Patrice Bergeron? Hockey sure is fun to watch isn't it? Here it is if you haven't seen it, or if you just need a refresher. If there had been an NHL Headshot of the Week last week, this would have been it without a doubt. What I love about this one is that people were blaming Bergeron for turning into the hit - see paragraph 4 - which he clearly does not. Here is Bob McKenzie's follow-up as well. From what I hear Don Cherry was blaming Bergeron as well, at least in part - further cementing my new found belief that for the good of the game Cherry needs to be put out to pasture (initially I was going to write that Cherry should have his tongue cut out - but decided to soften my stance).

Randy Jones' 2 game suspension probably should have been 5 - but he was a first time offender, so what can you do. You know who isn't a first time? The Philadelphia Flyers. This is the third time this season one of their players has delivered a cheapshot to the head of an opposing player. So here's what the punishment should have been - fine the Flyers organization $50,000 - fine General Manager Paul Holmgren $15,000 - and fine head coach John Stevens $5,000.

... Since I thought I should attend one playoff game in Saskatchewan this year, I went to the Regina Rams/Saskatchewan Huskies game on Friday night. I haven't been to a Rams game in many, many years - so maybe I'm behind the times - but when did the fake injury play become so popular. Obviously faking an injury has always been part of football, simply to give your team a bit of a breather. But I've never seen anything like that in my life. In the fourth quarter there was an injured player on the field after almost every play. And while I was in the stands I was characterizing it as "dirty Saskatoon tricks" but as the fourth quarter went on it was the Rams who were always on the carpet. Even the Rams' fans were getting sick of their own players lying on the field writhing in pain one minute, only to spring up and jog off the field the next. The mood of the Rams' fans turned so ugly at one point that people were yelling, "I'm giving my degree back!" (ok, it was just me).

I'm told that this was probably done as payback to the Huskies, who apparently did the same thing the week previous. Isn't that a mature response - but they did it first! And this is Canadian Football, it's not like the clock is running between plays or anything. The last 3 minutes of that football game literally took 35 minutes to actually complete. It was a real sad state of affairs.

... Two more things about the Rams game. First, why on Earth is there a 100% mark-up between advance ticket prices and walk-up ticket prices? Advanced tickets are $10 while tickets bought at the stadium are $20 - that seems like an unnecessarily large mark-up. I'm thinking like $15 at the ticket window. Be that as it may there were still almost 5,000 people there.

And then there's the Rams' mascot - oh Mercy, where to begin? First of all his name is Rampage 50/50... or maybe his name is just Rampage and his number is 50/50 - we were never very clear on that. Because of the tradition of the Rams' 50/50 draw I sort of understand the number - but that's still pretty ridiculous. I'd love to show him to you if you've never seen him, but there are not pictures around - so let's just say that he pretty much looks like this. The real problem is that whoever lives inside Rampage does not understand the nuances of football. He (or maybe she) was trying to incite the crowd into cheering while the Rams were near the goaline trying to score. If you have ever been to one football game in your life you know that you do not make noise while your team has the ball. While the opposing team has the ball make all the noise you want - but when you're team is trying to score, shut your mouth. All the Rams players were trying to get the crowd to be quiet, while Rampage was standing on benches trying to get everyone to make noise. High comedy all around.

... You know why the CFL makes me laugh a good natured laugh - it's because of things like this.

... Firing General Manager Marcel Desjardins is the best personnel move the Hamilton Tiger-Cats made all year.

... Hmmm, what else...

... I think there was a pretty big NFL game this weekend but I didn't really hear anything about it. I don't know when it was or who was playing. The NFL really needs to start doing a better job of promoting those marquee match-ups so people will know when they are.

... Good for those Colorado Rockies - they won 21 of their final 26 games. That's a pretty impressive feat and those last 4 losses in a row really should diminish their streak. Was that really the best team in the National League? They were not even close to being close to competitive against the Red Sox.

... Is there still an NHL team in Toronto? I haven't heard anything about them this year.

...Well I think that's about if for today. I'm hoping to do an mid-season NFL review either tomorrow or Wednesday, so keep an eye out for that.

Monday Headlines

RIDERS WIN, CFL FANS LOSE

In all seriousness - doesn't it hurt the CFL to have 1 of its 8 teams be as bad as the Hamilton Tigercats are? I didn't watch all of the Saskatchewan/Hamilton game yesterday - between the NFL and struggling with my new DVD recorder - but from what I saw, Hamilton is playing at about a university level. I suspect that a game between Hamilton and a top ten ranked Canadian university team would be a very, very close game. And this does nothing for the CFL as a whole. Which leads me to my next question... how is it possible for Hamilton to be so bad? I realize that Casey Printers has only been with the team for a couple of months. Losing Jesse Lumsden for the year was catastrophic for them too - he was the only reason they have won 2 games. But that team is not even close to being professionally competitive from what I saw. I might have to noodle with this a bit more today and expand it into a full column. With only 8 teams in the league it seems to me that you can't have 1 being a total doormat year after year.

MIKE WEIR WINS, LOSING STREAK LOSES

Weir finally got to hold another giant novelty cheque yesterday - an achievement reserved for winners on the PGA Tour. It's been over 3 years since Weir last got to hold up a big cheque and it's nice to see him playing well again. Over the last year or so there had been whispers and rumblings that he might have been 'done' as a pro golfer. Luckily, it looks like those of us thought that were wrong.

BOSTON WINS, THE REST OF THE WORLD LOSES

The Red Sox, the Patriots, the Celtics. All 3 are favorites to win - or at least be close to winning the championships in the three major sports - the MLB, the NFL and the NBA. I don't think we can consider the NHL a major sport anymore can we? Anyway... if 2 or more of these teams win titles Boston will possibly be the most insufferable sports town of all time. The Red Sox are no longer lovable losers but are now worse than the Yankees at spending whatever it takes to win a championship. The Patriots are coached by the most unlikeable man in the history of organized sport and are running amok with no respect for the game or anyone else. And the Celtics benefited from a trade mandated by the NBA Commissioner's office to get the heat off the referee betting scandal. So go Rockies, go NFC and go Raptors. This might be the situation that turns me off sports forever.

DON CHERRY OPENS HIS MOUTH, HOCKEY FANS LOSE

I just happened to catch Don Cherry at the end of the Toronto/Chicago game on Saturday night. For many, many years I was a Cherry apologist but now I really think he's doing more to harm the game than he is to help it. As usual he was lamenting the lack of fighting in hockey or maybe it was about the plots to take fighting out of the game. In any case he was pointing out all the fans on their feet cheering the fights and how much the fans love fighting. Now I have no desire to see fighting taken out of hockey but to me if the fights are the only thing fans are coming to see then there are much bigger problems with the game than anyone is willing to admit. Instead of talking about more fighting because fans stand and cheer for fighting - we should be talking about why fans are only standing and cheering for fighting.

HOCKEY EQUIPMENT MANUFACTURERS WIN, BRAINCELLS LOSE

Since the NHL Headshot of the Week is sweeping the nation like wildfire I need your help in keeping it going. As hard as I try to watch every highlight around, I just can't. So if you see something in an NHL game that you think should be the NHL Headshot of the Week please let me know.

Monday Headlines

SEE, NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT

Even though the game might have been closer for awhile than some would have liked, it was nice to see the Roughriders put the boots to an inferior team. On a related note, since the actual game will be covered with the usual saturation, if the CFL doesn't suspend Jermese Jones and Mike Abou-Mechrek what's the chance that Kent Austin does? (Note: I have not read the Leader-Post or Rod Pedersen's blog yet - so if this is being discussed or has already happened I apologize). In the end losing two offensive linemen didn't really matter against Hamilton but if that had actually been a good team it could have been a different story. Coach Austin was pretty livid - I could see him taking some action.

THAT OTHER FOOTBALL TEAM WON TOO

The Regina Rams smoked the Alberta Golden Bears 35-16 on Saturday to move up to the number 8 ranking in the country - and number 2 in the Canada West division. This sets up a monster game this coming Saturday in Winnipeg against the University of Manitoba. Even if the Rams can't pull that one out they have another big game the week after in Saskatoon against the U of S - I'm already thinking about making the trek up for the game. And riddle me this - how can the University of Saskatchewan be ranked number 5 in the country with 2 losses but the Rams are number 8 with 1 loss? Maybe the rankings haven't been updated since the weekend.

IN GAMES YOU DID SEE

Game 3 of the National League Championship Series was actually broadcast on Sportsnet last night - so if you watched you saw the Colorado Rockies beat the Arizona Diamondbacks... again. Colorado seems to be unbeatable - they've won 20 of their last 21 games and now have a 3-0 series lead over Arizona. Barring a Yankees-esqe collapse this series will be over shortly. While I think it's nice to see new blood in the MLB playoffs the lack of a team that's more than a decade old is really hurting this series.

DID YOU KNOW...

...that the only unbeaten team left in the NHL is the Minnesota Wild? I'm telling you right now that if Minnesota wins the Stanley Cup this year I'm through with hockey for good. Say what you will about all the offence in the game right now but it's still ridiculous trapping teams like Minnesota that win championships. There is nothing in the world that could compel me to watch a Minnesota Wild game. And apparently Derek Boogaard concussed Todd Bertuzzi with a shoulder to the head - could that be this weeks' NHL Headshot of the Week? You'll have to wait and see. Having said all that, good for Regina's own Josh Harding for shutting out the Stanley Cup champs last night.

Monday Headlines (on Tuesday)

I know you've been waiting patiently - but hey, it was a holiday yesterday...

DON'T LOOK NOW...

... but the (University of) Regina Rams are 4-1 and ranked 10th in the country. It may not seem like much but for a team with a proud history it's good to see the team having some success again. Teale Orban appears to be the second coming of Darryl Leason (now there's a name from the past). Orban is in the Top 5 of most of the major quarterbacking statistical categories in the country (wow, there's got to be a better way to say that) - including leading the nation in touchdown passes with 16. The Rams have 3 games left in their regular season schedule: the University of Alberta at home this weekend and then two monster games on the road - October 20th against 3rd ranked Manitoba and then October 27th against 5th ranked Saskatchewan. It would be great to see them get at least one of those road games. Nuts to a Roughrider home playoff game, how about a Rams home playoff game?

IS IT JUST ME...

...or was anyone else not even a little bit impressed by the Roughrider's win yesterday. It's probably just me. If Calgary had somehow managed to get more than 2 first downs in the first half that game might have been a totally different story. That game should have been about 45-7 for Saskatchewan at halftime and over. In a somewhat related story, how glorious was it for the first 20 minutes of the game when CBC was having audio trouble? I was loving life until the ever-insightful Mark Lee and Chris Walby came on the broadcast. I know that it's sort of eerie just watching a game with only crowd noise but in my opinion it's 100% better than suffering through that broadcast team especially. And while I'm on the subject of the CBC - was it really necessary to show those last, ever-important, Montreal kneel-downs before switching over to the Rider game? As soon as it was apparent that Hamilton couldn't stop the clock and Montreal did not have to run another play, CBC should have switched over to the Calgary/Saskatchewan game. I realize that it was only a couple of minutes but when one game is foregone and the other is just getting going it should have been a no-brainer.

AND WHILE I'M AT IT...

... how about that Sportsnet? I've got a question for you, did you happen to see the Indians/Yankees game last night? Well, if you've only got Sportsnet West - you didn't see it. This was a playoff elimination game mind you and we got the Oilers 3rd game of the year. I understand that hockey takes precedence over everything in this country but this is just ridiculous. How can the channel that bought the rights to the MLB playoffs not even show the games? I'm sure that Sportsnet East or Ontario had the baseball game on but c'mon. It's becoming increasingly clear that sports broadcasters in this country either don't have any common sense or they just don't care. To show that I actually can walk the walk from time to time, this is a copy of an email I sent to Sportsnet this morning:

"I have a question for you, does Sportsnet have sole rights to broadcasting the first round of the MLB playoffs in Canada? If the answer is yes, next time could you actually broadcast the games? As someone who gets Sporstnet West I was unable to watch Cleveland eliminate the Yankees last night. Was the baseball game shown on SN East or Ontario? I realize that baseball is not as popular as hockey in this country but I think an MLB playoff game, especially a potential elimination game, would be more important than the Oilers 3rd game of 82. I can assure you that it was a very frustrating situation - I felt like a hockey fan in the U.S trying to find a game."

I don't want perfection, because that's an impossibility, I'd just like some quality broadcasting and some accountability from time to time - and I don't think that's too much to ask for.

AND SPEAKING OF THOSE OILERS...

... how about those totally white road jerseys they were wearing in Detroit last night? I thought they were wearing their practice jerseys when I first flipped over in hopes of watching the baseball game. I didn't mind most of the new jerseys when they were first released but now seeing them in action I think I'm slowly changing my mind about a lot of them.

Monday Headlines

First of all I'd like to thank the Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Oakland Raiders, Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers for doing exactly what they should be doing - making me money.

If you enjoy:

GUYS BEING TAKEN OFF THE ICE ON STRETCHERS...

...then the NHL is for you. I kid you not - in this weekend's Canucks/Oilers game, Oiler Matthieu Roy was taken off the ice on a stretcher after being hit from behind by Rick Rypien. And this was only days after Steve Downie tried to end Dean McAmmond's career and McAmmond was taken off the ice on a stretcher. Wow - this is sure giving the fans their money's worth isn't it? People are starting to turn their backs on the NHL because of hits like these - and it's not like the league has a lot of fans to spare.


OWNERSHIP GROUPS SUING THE LEAGUE THEY BELONG TO...

...then the NHL might be for you too. I swear this is just too easy - MSG, the company that owns the New York Rangers has filed an anti-trust lawsuit against the NHL. Here is a link to an article that explains the situation much better than I can - from TSN.ca. The basics of it seem to be that MSG thinks the NHL does such a terrible job marketing itself that the team wants to retain the ability to market itself. For a league that has had ownership solidarity lately (and needed it) this might be the first crack in the armour. More than hits to the head, this might be the evolving story of the year.


OFFICIALS WHO CLEARLY HAVE NO GRASP ON WHAT THEY'RE DOING...

...then the CFL might be for you. As someone who was at the Saskatchewan/Montreal game on Saturday I can tell you without any exaggeration that on 4 separate occasions the referees threw penalty flags only to have them picked up with the explanation that, "there was no foul on the play." Now it's good that the refs got together and got the calls right - but my question is why were those flags thrown in the first place? And not once, not twice, not three times - but four times? Wow. And to top it all off, the challenge/review system in the CFL should be scrapped if the officials cannot get calls right even after review. On one play Andy Fantuz clearly caught the ball and then lost it when he hit the ground - but of course after review it was ruled incomplete. Then there was an almost review of a tipped ball/pass interference play that was so ridiculous I won't even waste your time explaining it. Suffice it to say the officiating is a problem that desperately needs to be fixed.


OVERRATED FOOTBALL TEAMS...

...then College Football might be for you. Eight of the top 25 teams in U.S College Football lost on the weekend, including Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, Clemson, Alabama and Penn State. Ugly. You can imagine how this affected Cooper's College Football column. Ugly.


EXCITING SPORTS...

...then Major League Baseball might be for you. Don't laugh - I'm serious. After 161 games the playoff race in the National League came down to yesterday, the season's final day - and even that wasn't enough. San Diego and Colorado will play a one-game playoff today to determine who gets the National League Wild Card. And because of the NY Mets choke job yesterday and the Philadelphia Phillies win, Philly is in and the Mets go home. Hard to believe that after 161 games 4 teams could still be fighting for 2 playoff spots.


CHANGE FOR THE SAKE OF CHANGE...

...then the new Sports As Life might be for you. Tell us what you think. Also check out my guest column on David Letterman on Music, Movies and TV.

Monday Headlines

Things I learned over the weekend...

I CAN SEE THE FUTURE

Spake the soothsayer on June 4th, 2007 - "...right now the honeymoon is still on and everyone is in the throws of passion. But will reality set in once that first, inevitable 3-game losing streak hits? Will everyone remember that they used to loathe Austin when things aren't going well? That's some tough history for him to overcome."

Luckily for Kent right now most of the hate is being piled on the players, especially those in the defensive secondary - I'm looking at you Tristan Clovis. That might change though.

THE PREVENT DEFENCE ONLY PREVENTS YOU FROM WINNING

See: Clovis, Tristan. I don't want to pile on Clovis (see today's Leader-Post for award winning examples of that), but how a wide receiver gets behind a safety in the prevent defence I'll never know. There are no excuses and saying things like, "We just didn't make plays when we needed to," is not going far enough. Even though Clovis owned up to blowing the game winning play there seems to be a real lack of accountability on the team right now.

I'M CLEARLY TOO ATTACHED TO WRITING THIS SITE

In the category of, "Nearly Ruining the Happiest Day of Someone's Life" - I was receiving Roughrider score updates via text message during the dinner of the wedding I was at on Saturday night. Don't look at me like that - the ringer was off.

RIHANNA GETS IT DONE

That 'Umbrella' track is hot - or should I say 'Um-Ber-rel-la'. Although as someone who has seen Rihanna up close and sans airbrushing I can say she is not as hot as that track is. I would say like a 6 - 6.5 at best.

WEDDING DJ'S KNOW HOW TO KILL A PARTY

Clearly the gentleman who was DJ'ing the wedding I was at on Saturday worked for the firm of "55 Ways to Clear a Dance Floor."

IT MUST BE NICE TO WORK FOR THE FOX CORPORATION

Owning the rights to Star Wars sure makes it easier to do a parody of it - just like Family Guy did last night. Now normally I'm not a huge Family Guy fan but I am a huge Star Wars fan and I have to say that Family Guy episode was possibly the most well-crafted piece of television I have ever seen. The faithful recreation of the shots and the dialogue was great - and of course the stuff they added was fantastic. And for anyone who has moved a couch recently - and I have - the couch-moving scene is a must see...and here you go. Also, the Thai-fighters...hilarious.


In light of recent events, watch for a possible Roughrider-related post later today.

Monday Headlines

CAN I GET SOME PROZAC...OR MAYBE JUST A LENGTH OF ROPE?

After two consecutive embarrassing losses by the Saskatchewan Roughriders, suicide lines in the province are on high alert. The bandwagon is emptying faster than you can say, "Another missed tackle." On Saturday night people were asking me what I was going to write about the game. At that point the only thing I had decided on was the line, "Defensive back James Johnson got burned worse than Joan of Arc." I've since decided to add the line, "James Johnson was schooled more thoroughly than Helen Keller." You guys can decided which one you like better. I also want to hear your historical analogies - along the lines of, "James Johnson got torched like a Salem witch."
(Editor's Note: I'm removing the historical stipulation from the James Johnson analogies in light of Trevor's two good, non-offensive ones- so anything goes)

YOU KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR DAY WHEN...

...The opposing team's long-snapper catches a touchdown pass on you. That sneaky 'ol tackle eligible play.

AS A SPORTS FAN IT'S MY RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND

After watching the USC/Nebraska football game on Saturday night, USC quarterback John David Booty is no longer the quarterback that the Kansas City Chiefs should pick #1 overall in next year's draft. The guy I'm rooting for now is Louisville's quarterback Brian Brohm. There was just something about Booty that didn't sit right with me - I couldn't even tell you what it was. Draft update: Chiefs fall to 0-2.

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE

Since I routinely rip the Leader-Post when it's awful, I should say that they did run a wire service NFL re-cap today. So at least that's a step in the right directly - acknowledging the existence of the league at the very least.

Monday Headlines

SUPER LETDOWN

Hey - how about that Canada-Russia series? Now that was some excitement. In case you didn't know (and who could blame you if you didn't) the best junior hockey players from Canada and Russia just finished an 8 game "Super Series" to "commemorate" the 35 anniversary of the original Summit Series. Less interested in this, I could not have been. I think this series was competitive for the first period of the first game and that was it. Canada took the series 7-0-1 (yes, that's a tie) and outscored the Russians 39-13. Super. If organizers really wanted to spark some rivalry they should have sent Bobby Clarke to break Alex Cherepanov's ankle. Phil Esposito could have challenged Ilya Kablukov to a fight. And Harry Sinden could have stood on the Canadian bench throwing F-bombs at the Russian fans after every Canadian victory. Now that would have been Super.

THE LEADER-POST DOES IT AGAIN

Do you know how many stories in today's Leader-Post sports section pertained to the NFL - the most popular sport in North America? You guessed it...zero. Not one. And it might not be a big deal because any NFL stories would just have been from the wire services anyway. Clearly if a sporting event doesn't happen within a 300km radius of this city, it's not worth anybody at the LP's time. Although I guess I should clarify - there was a 4 line blurb about Jon Ryan being the holder on Green Bay's winning field goal. Riveting. But if the LP did pay attention to anything outside of this province I might be out of a job - so keep up the good work guys.

SEND YOUR THANK YOU'S TO THE GOOD PEOPLE AT SASKPOWER

In an effort to spare the people of southwestern Regina from having to suffer through the Roughrider game on Sunday, SaskPower decided to shut down the power to that part of the city for an extended period of time. Obviously SaskPower did not do this on purpose - but I'm sure they had a lot of phone calls from a lot of irate Rider fans. Luckily I was unaffected by the power outage and could have watched the Rider game if I had wanted but I was taking in NFL refugees from across the southwest. Even if the San Diego/Chicago game was a little slow - we still made a good decision.

...AND SPEAKING OF THAT GOOD DECISION...

How 'bout them Riders? Now I don't want to say I'm glad they lost but I think this will help keep everything in perspective a little bit - both for the team and for fans. A fan I was talking to yesterday said, "They played like they were reading their press clippings all the way to Winnipeg."

Monday Headlines (on Tuesday)

THE PROOF IS IN THE PRODUCT

If you ever wanted solid evidence of why I'm not a "real" CFL fan - you had to look no further than the winning play in the Roughrider-Blue Bomber game on Sunday. In my mind, the quarterback should never be allowed to score, untouched, from 30 yards out on a draw play - with the game on the line no less. I think that's just bad football. It didn't even look like Winnipeg had any linebackers on the field. You better believe that the Bombers will be working on a simple defensive technique known as the "QB Spy" this week in practice. Obviously they hadn't heard of that strategy before.

WE DON'T WANT TO WIN BY 1, WE WANT TO WIN BY 5

In a move that can best be described as "baffling" - the Roughriders decided to try an onside field goal attempt with under 3 minutes left in the game, instead of trying a potentially game winning field goal. Now its all well and good that the Riders ended up winning the game and this play ended up not mattering - but wow, can you imagine if the Riders had lost? Doesn't really say much when you don't trust your kicker to hit a 35-yard (somewhere around there) field goal with the game on the line.

ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED BY THIS?

This was the headline in the sports section of today's Leader-Post, "Jolt of jubilation after Joseph's jaunt," - I kid you not. Now I was not a journalism major in university but I have to think that in a journalism class, a professor would tear you a new one for writing garbage like this. As a resident of Regina and a member of the human race I think that's embarrassing. Sorry Dan, I know I was taking one for the team by reading the Leader-Post so that nobody else would have to be exposed to it - but this is the last straw, I'm through with the LP for good.

THE RETURN

Some exciting news here at Sports As Life - the much anticipated return of untitled (Cooper's Corner) is finally upon us after the summer hiatus. So make sure you look for that later today.

THE SPORTS AS LIFE FALL SCHEDULE

In an attempt to give a little more structure to Sports As Life and to make writing it a little easier for myself, I'd like to come up with a fixed schedule for what's going to appear on what day. Here's what I have so far:

Monday - Headlines

Tuesday - NFL Wrap-Up

Wednesday - Fantasy Football Discussion (see Trebor's comment on the Armchair GM post - I'd like to start having a weekly fantasy football discussion and have it really interactive - unfortunately I don't know how interactive we can be here. People could write in with what they want to talk about or whatever and then I could answer I guess. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know, I'd really like to get this off the ground starting tomorrow. This is why I need to get someone to start sponsoring the site, then maybe we could do things like a live fantasy chat or even do some podcasting, which I'd still really like to start doing but really have no idea how.)

Thursday - open day, anything goes

Friday - Weekly NFL Picks, The Links, Artist of the Week

So I think that's how things are going to shape up. I'm also trying to get a weekly or bi-weekly college football wrap-up going. But we'll see about that. And if anyone has any other ideas for things they'd like to see, or if they have any content they'd like to start contributing - feel free to let me know.

Monday Headlines

BUT WE'RE STILL GOOD AT HOCKEY.....RIGHT?

Timmy, for the sake of this country, you'd better hope so - 'cause Canada is sure not winning anything in basketball anytime soon. Now I'm not here to rag on the Canadian men's basketball players in the FIBA America's Championship, because I appreciate that they're out there trying hard every night. And Canada is ranked 16th in the world, which sounds pretty impressive until you look up the rankings and see that Angola is ranked 14th. In doing some research this morning, I found out that Basketball Canada is not federally funded - how is that possible? Every other sport in Canada gets some federal money but the national basketball team has to rely on Nike, Hilton Hotels and Molson. The federal government needs to get involved immediately. But not just with monetary sponsorship, we need to start a cloning program. Apparently the only way Steve Nash is going to play for Canada is if we make our own copy of him. Then the original Nash can play full-time in the NBA and the government's copy can play full-time for the National Team. I think this is the only solution to stopping 50 point losses to the U.S.

BUT WE'RE STILL GOOD AT RUGBY.....RIGHT?

No Timmy, turns out we're not. The Rugby World Cup starts September 7th and unlike soccer, Canada can actually qualify for this World Cup. But the success probably ends there. The Canadian Team finds itself in a pool with: Wales and Fiji, both of whom are apparently better than Canada (ok, Wales I can see but Fiji - c'mon!), Japan, the team in the pool Canada can beat, and Australia, who will beat Canada so soundly it will be over in the first 10 minutes - anything less than a 60 point loss to the Aussies will be considered a win for Canada. I didn't bring this up just to rag on one of Canada's national teams again (see above) - I put it up because New Zealand is playing and is obviously one of the favorites, so it gives me an excuse to put up a clip of The Haka. Avid readers will know the only clip I love putting up more than The Haka, is Dennis Green - see how I just worked that in there?

NOSTALGIA FOR NOSTALGIA'S SAKE....AND CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP DOLLARS

In what can only be described as a sadly transparent attempt to capitalize financially on people's nostalgia for 1972, Canadian hockey players begin playing Russia today to "celebrate" the 35th anniversary of the 1972 Summit Series. Ok, first of all the 35th anniversary is ridiculously arbitrary. Is it important because it ends in a 5? Celebrating the 35th anniversary of an event is like celebrating a 3 month anniversary in a relationship - it just doesn't make any sense and doesn't really mean anything does it? And not only that, but it's junior hockey players that are playing to "celebrate" this anniversary. So not one of the players was actually alive when the original Series took place. And, depending on the age of some the players, their parents might not have even been alive in 1972. Don't be fooled by catchy tag-lines like, "Renewing the Rivalry" and other crap like that, this has nothing to do with history and everything to do with money.

BYE WEEKS = NO PROBLEM FOR LOCAL SPORTS MEDIA

By now it's fairly evident that the Regina Pats training camp was scheduled to coincide with the Saskatchewan Roughriders bye week so that the local media would have something to talk about. It's a good thing that the CFL season and the WHL season make up almost an entire calendar year, otherwise people around these parts would be lost. I'm also starting to think that Eric Tillman traded for Corey Holmes and pulled the plug on the lights at Taylor Field just so that his team would be in the news during their bye week.

WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT TSN?

First of all, it looks like I may not be able to watch Monday Night Football tonight because TSN is moving the game to their Alternate Feed (which I do not get, thank you very much SaskTel) so that the network can broadcast the first day of the U.S Open tennis tournament. To the marketing geniuses at TSN - thank you very much. Of course the most popular sport in North America should be preempted for the opening day of a tennis tournament that will last 3 weeks. Nobody actually watches Monday Night Football anyway, do they? But as if that wasn't enough, according to TSN.ca the network will show the best of Chris Benoit on Off The Record today. This has to be an obvious ratings grab by one of the worst shows on television (I've said for years that I want to see the ratings numbers TSN gets for Pardon the Interruption and Off the Record - to see how big of a drop-off there is from PTI to OTR). Should any network anywhere be giving air time to a man that killed his wife and son and then himself?

Monday Headlines

CBC Keeps Pace With TSN

Not to be outdone by the gong-show that is TSN's CFL coverage, after Saturday night's lightning delay was done here in Regina CBC decided to put the game back on the air only in Saskatchewan. I don't know how many people in Salmon Arm were clamouring to see The Good Theif with Nick Nolte but they were not disappointed. Everybody who might have wanted to see the end of an entertaining football game was left high and dry. And as far as I know, Nick Nolte is not a quality cure for disappointment.

Brady Quinn Will Cure Cancer - And Find Your Lost Puppy

Oh, and he might also be the best quarterback to ever play in the NFL...That was kind of hype being given to 1st round draft pick Brady Quinn after he played his first pre-season game for the Cleveland Browns on Saturday. Don't get me wrong, his numbers - 13 of 20 passing for 155 yards and 2 touchdowns - are pretty impressive. But - and that's a big but - look at what he was playing against. First of all it was the Detroit Lions. And not only that but Quinn came in halfway through the 4th quarter, so he was playing against Detroit's 3rd and 4th string guys. That's hardly a test of football. But in the words of my man Dennis Green, "If you want to crown him, then go ahead and crown him!"

Holmes Comes Home

I'm shocked and a little bit disappointed that this wasn't the headline from the Leader-Post's article about the Corey Holmes trade. They did try to make up for it with the first line of the story, "Corey Holmes is coming home." A headline like that just seemed to be right in their wheelhouse - they could have knocked it right out of the park. Maybe this one was just too obvious - although that's never been a problem before.

Prairie What?...Fire?

Ok, I'm being sarcastic, you got me. But that's the first time I swear. The truth is I know there's a rugby team in Regina called the Prairie Fire. What I didn't know is that they went through the season undefeated this year. They also won the national championship this weekend, after losing the championship game the last two years. This year's final game was also in Regina, were you aware of it? Who knew?

Monday Headlines

TSN CONTINUES TO SHAME ITSELF

If TSN's CFL coverage was a horse, it would have been shot 3 weeks ago. This week only proved this point beyond a shadow of a doubt. The decision was made by TSN to NOT show the beginning of the Saskatchewan - Toronto game at 7pm eastern. Instead they stayed with the end of the second round coverage from the PGA Championship. THE SECOND ROUND OF THE PGA! - the slow-witted half-brother of golf's 3 other majors. Sure glad I got to see Tiger Woods tap in for par.

To say the camera work for TSN has been third-rate is an insult to third-rate cameramen. I can't count the number of times a punt returner has zoomed through the frame because the cameraman lost the ball in the air or couldn't find the returner. Also, play action is designed to fool defences, not the people filming the game.

And oh the commentators - who I think I've said enough about already in previous posts. But one thing I want to add - I would love to watch a game where I'm not being talked to like a 6 year old. Is it to much to ask to for announcers to call the game like they assume that their audience is even a little familiar with football? If TSN explains to me one more time why a running game is important or what the benefits of a screen-pass are, I think I'm going to lose it.

755 FALLS AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING...

...about the fact that we no longer have to here about Barry Bonds.

Want to actually read an interesting story about Major League Baseball? If you haven't heard about Rick Ankiel yet, read this. He hit a 3-run home run in his first game as a major league outfielder, after washing out of the league years ago as a pitcher with monstrous control problems. Oh, Ankiel hit 2 more home runs the next night too.

@^$% THE REGINA FOLK FEST

If one more person tells me how great the City and Colour show at the after party was on Friday night - I'm going to go jump in traffic. I'm serious - don't talk to me about this anymore.

Never again.

NFL FANTASY FOOTBALL - OPEN AUDITIONS

The Sports As Life crew are looking for 2-3 people interested in participating in some fantasy football this fall/winter. Anybody reading this is eligible to join as long as you meet the following criteria:

- you must have more than a casual interest/knowledge of the NFL.

- you must commit to playing until the season ends in December. No giving up on the season because you happen to be 2-8 in Week 10.

- you must not actively pursue shady trades or any other shenanigans.

- you must have a sense of humour.

- you must not be easily offended - if my current team name, "Now With 15% Less Dogfighting" puts you off - you need not apply. Note: my team name is a bastardized version of what I really wanted: "Michael Vick's Stupid Pet Tricks - Now With 15% Less Dogfighting". However, space limitations forced me to edit it.

And I think that's about all the necessary requirements, so if you're interested leave a comment on the blog or send an email to: sportsaslife@hotmail.com. Or if you know my personal email address, send me one there.

With only 3 weeks until NFL season starts, the sooner you reply the better.

Monday Headlines

BEST FANS IN THE WORLD WILL SUPPORT THEIR TEAM AGAIN

- AT LEAST FOR THIS WEEK

I'm not entirely sure how/why/when the fans of the Saskatchewan Roughriders claimed the title of Best Fans in the World or the CFL but I'm beginning to think that neither title should apply. After every loss people here in Regina are on 24 hour suicide watch and sales of Prozac increase 10 fold. They rip everybody from the quarterback to the mascot. And then after every win, like Saturday's, those same people celebrate in the streets like the Berlin Wall just came down. Perspective, I suppose, is not high on the list here. More on this later in the week.

PUNS ARE THE HIGHEST FORM OF SPORTS JOURNALISM

Anybody who wrote one of the 28,193 articles (my estimate) over the last week titled Tour de Farce - including the one published in the Leader Post today - should never be allowed to allowed to write anything again - ever. They should have their journalism degrees from their community college's revoked and never be allowed to possess writing instruments again. This goes for anyone who makes a pun on a team or athlete name too. Can't you do any better than this?

100 MILLION OF YOUR HARD EARNED DOLLARS

As much as I dislike the local media (and I do), I've got to say that I like Rod Pedersen's blog. He had a an interesting bit today about a new football stadium for Regina - you can see it here. And while it's all well and good to dream big, rest assured if this ever came to pass and the team/city/province tried to build it with public funds (i.e - your tax dollars) I would be leading the revolt. Is there any reason to build a stadium like this? Unless the Roughriders can find a sugar daddy, like the Asper family in Winnipeg, to fund at least the majority of the stadium privately, I don't see any reason for it.

KEVIN LOWE SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUINS THE NHL

Last Thursday Edmonton Oiler General Manager signed restricted free-agent Dustin Penner to an offer sheet worth $21.25 million over 5 years - a move reeking so strongly of desperation it will linger for years. Penner made $450,000 last year with Anaheim and scored 45 points. Apparently 45 point players are now worth $4.25 million a year. One Oiler fan said to me, "Great another Duck to come over and do absolutely nothing." Can you feel the excitement Edmonton?

To no one's surprise, Duck's GM Brian Burke had strong words for Lowe. Now I have no problem with Lowe trying to sign restricted free agents but this salary is ridiculous. This is precisely the reason there was a lock out 3 years ago. I'm not sure how a league with absolutely no TV revenue and no exposure in the United States thinks it can sustain this kind of spending - ticket revenues will only take you so far. I'm not saying I guarantee it, but I can foresee a scenario in which the NHL no longer exists in 5-7 years.

R.I.P TOM SNYDER

I always liked Tom Snyder on the Late, Late Show. Although in all honesty I thought he passed away a couple years ago.