Monday, September 17, 2007

Monday Headlines

CAN I GET SOME PROZAC...OR MAYBE JUST A LENGTH OF ROPE?


After two consecutive embarrassing losses by the Saskatchewan Roughriders, suicide lines in the province are on high alert. The bandwagon is emptying faster than you can say, "Another missed tackle." On Saturday night people were asking me what I was going to write about the game. At that point the only thing I had decided on was the line, "Defensive back James Johnson got burned worse than Joan of Arc." I've since decided to add the line, "James Johnson was schooled more thoroughly than Helen Keller." You guys can decided which one you like better. I also want to hear your historical analogies - along the lines of, "James Johnson got torched like a Salem witch."
(Editor's Note: I'm removing the historical stipulation from the James Johnson analogies in light of Trevor's two good, non-offensive ones- so anything goes)


YOU KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR DAY WHEN...

...The opposing team's long-snapper catches a touchdown pass on you. That sneaky 'ol tackle eligible play.


AS A SPORTS FAN IT'S MY RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND

After watching the USC/Nebraska football game on Saturday night, USC quarterback John David Booty is no longer the quarterback that the Kansas City Chiefs should pick #1 overall in next year's draft. The guy I'm rooting for now is Louisville's quarterback Brian Brohm. There was just something about Booty that didn't sit right with me - I couldn't even tell you what it was. Draft update: Chiefs fall to 0-2.


CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE

Since I routinely rip the Leader-Post when it's awful, I should say that they did run a wire service NFL re-cap today. So at least that's a step in the right directly - acknowledging the existence of the league at the very least.

4 comments:

Trevor said...

Here's some more for you...

Defensive back James Johnson was lit up more often than Neolon Greene's bong. Not really historical but funny none the less

Defensive back James Johnson was beaten worse than Rodney King.

Trevor said...

For those who are offended by Political Incorecness....you may want to skip the below comment with regards to the Johson references.

Defensive Back James Johnson was abused more than an alter boy at a Catholic church.

Defensive back James Johnson was abused more times than a child enrolled at a residential school in Canada during the 1900's.

Jeff K said...

These are all pretty lame, but I thought I would give it a go.

James Johnson got picked apart like a Turkey on Thanksgiving at Rossie O'Donnell's house.

James Johnson got beat worse than a Dog at Michael Vick's house....wow, poor taste or what?

James Johnson's performance was worse that Britney's at the 2007 MTV Video Awards.

Rider Prophet said...

James Johnson showed tackling abilities on Saturday afternoon that rival those of Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen.