Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The NFL Review...I Predict a Riot

...First of all, I'm not sure who was more heavily medicated on Sunday - Emmitt Smith or Britney Spears (If you watched NFL Countdown and the MTV Somethingorother Awards you know what I'm talking about. I don't know if people realize what a cultural watershed moment Britney's performance was. There's a pretty good chance I'm going to have to devote a whole column to it. But in the meantime take a look at a fresh new blog that breaks down her performance - Music, Movies and TV).

...Staying with NFL Countdown, the chemistry on that show is totally shot. Gone are Michael Irvin and Steve Young (who I hate as a person but like as a studio analyst). Replacing them are Keyshawn Johnson and Emmitt Smith. Keyshawn is not interested in his job at all and is clearly just waiting for an NFL team to bring him out of retirement. To wit - when asked to pick a winner in the Washington/Miami game, Keyshawn replied, "It doesn't matter." For some reason Keyshawn seems really intent on picking a fight with Mike Ditka too. Good old Emmitt on the other hand smiles and giggles so much I think he has a blast of laughing gas during each commercial break.

...You know your studio show is in trouble when viewers are texting each other this exchange:
-"How long before Ditka punches Keyshawn in the mouth?"
-"Mere seconds"
True story.

...To say Phil Simms is a terrible broadcaster is a slap in the face to terrible people everywhere. His man-love for Tom Brady and the New England Patriots is bordering on troubling.

...I was very concerned with the lack of offensive touchdowns in the early games. Minnesota, Green Bay, Buffalo all scored their opening touchdowns on defence or special teams. In Green Bay's case it was the only touchdown they scored all game. New England scored on special teams as well but they had quite a few offensive touchdowns to go with it.

...Clearly I need to start making notes in my notebook during the games. The Sunday games were two days ago - I'm struggling to remember what happened.

...Is anyone else concerned about the alarming number of injuries that happened this week? The Kevin Everett injury aside - which was just a freak and tragic accident. But here's the list of just big-name guys to get injured and probably miss time: Steve McNair(?), Jonathan Ogden, Eddie Kennison, Terry Glenn, Eli Manning, Osi Umenyiora, Brandon Jacobs, D.J Hackett, Cadillac Williams. And here's the guys who got injured on the weekend and are out for the year: Mike Brown (no big surprise there), Orlando Pace, Jason Ferguson and Jon Jansen (no big surprise there either).

...I was having a discussion about these injuries yesterday and we jokingly said that they're due to the league's crackdown on HGH. But the further the conversation progressed, the less joking it became. This could actually become a story.

...As much as I love Tony Kornheiser I'm still not convinced he works in the Monday Night Football booth. His chemistry with Ron Jaworski is much better than it was with Joe Theismann though. I'm giving it a full season before I decide. Jaws needs to cut out the "blacksmith running game" line though, or at least use it less than 125 times a game - I think Cooper was almost catatonic about this.

...But speaking of 3-man booths, I was pleasantly surprised with the 3 Mikes (Greenberg, Golic and Ditka) doing the late MNF game last night. I've never listened to the Mike & Mike in the Morning radio show so I wasn't familiar with their work but I enjoyed them. And I thought that a certain coach Ditka was better as a booth guy than he is in the studio. I look forward to hearing them again.

...I think Baltimore is in big trouble this year. They looked absolutely awful at times last night on offence against a bad Cincinnati defence.

...Chicago could be in big trouble too. Of course, they were playing in San Diego but Cedric Benson looked terrible. And Rex Grossman was...well, Rex Grossman. The Bears might not live to regret giving up Thomas Jones.

...Barring some catastrophic injury, New England is going to win the Super Bowl. I don't think there's any doubt about it. I can't watch them win it again, I just can't.

...Here's some advice for you - never ever, under any circumstances, bet on Joey Harrington (yes, he's back to Joey - no more "Mean" Joe) - especially on the road against a quality defence. I would have gotten more enjoyment out of just flushing my money down the toilet. At this point I wouldn't bet on Joey to beat Mary Kate Olsen in a cage match, especially if they were fighting for a sandwich...or a vial of coke.

...I will take some solace in the fact that I went 10-6 on my Sports As Life picks. Stick with me kid, I'll take you places. Of course my picks don't really help from a wagering standpoint unless you're in a Pick 'Em league. Perhaps I'll have to start incorporating the point spread into my picks.

...Oh, and I'm not actually predicting a riot. I just have the Kaiser Chiefs song stuck in my head and I thought writing it out would help. It hasn't. Not that I'm complaining though, it's a quality song.

...That is all.


Anonymous said...

I don't know about the Patriots winning it all...they cheat. Spying on the other team, what gall they have! Especially against the J E T S Jets, jets, jets...they suck. Heck they could have put more pressure on Brady if they had rushed a one legged chad pennington (who I must say I am disgusted with those said jets fans for cheering when he got hurt).
I think if they are found in violation of NFL anti-spying policy (I take it that they have some policy against spying for they seemingly have a policy against every other thing imaginable) that that win against said jets should be taken away. It probably doesnt help the matter that I loath the pats. Oh and phil simms has always been a brady/pats fan...always, even back to his college days (perhaps even as far back as his high school days)...sickening.
And another thing, what do they put in the Giants water? Although it couldnt have happened to a nicer bunch, that is a lot of positions to fill (although I now get to watch the 400lbs qb for the giants).
Another troubled year for my raiders...they suck, plain and simple. They may only win 2 games again this year (although the wins will be against the hated chiefs...who really suck...HA).
Oh, and I am no good at fantasy football, my team stinks...I am thinking about releasing all of my players, you know, to teach them a lesson.
I love the NFL...

Trebor said...

the games this week were not bad, with some games coming down to the wire. I only got to watch the night games and the last night still can't answer if any of the 4 teams has a bad offense (well maybe only 3.. baltimore...not good) or was the DEF that good. how did arizona and SF get that much better, sure Willis is with the 49ers now and looks amazing but the O-lines on both sides ability to pick up the blitz is in question.

How come no mention of your fantasy team???? In our league their I was lucky to get a win after sittin Romo..who knew NYG would decide not to cover Witten.

What a bad week for most fantasy owners... heres some players that I think would be started in 100% of leagues, are tops at their postion and could have lost the week for a fantasy owner. Larry Johnson, Steven Jackson, Maurice jones drew, Willie parker, rudi johnson, reggie bush, mcallister, could go further down into the #2 backs. Really bad week for Running backs... Drew brees (clements from NYJ got as many points), Favre, Young, Leinart. Fitzgerald, Colston, deion branch (maybe not top but for a #1 wr to get no catches), even disppointment with TE's such as Cooley, Heap, gonzo and veron davis.
Point is if your in a fantasy league you likely had 1 of these players in my case the team which the editor helped draft I had 5.... not a good week. But these guys will bounce back, you can't be giving up on the season this early, the rediculous trade offers will come in from (In one deal i was offered derek anderson for brees... then almost equal rb's and wr's in there as well). Suggestion is don't blow up the team just yet, but maybe socut out the waiver wire, as there were some suprising performances this week.