Sports Nerds - Unite!

Apparently the first round of the NHL Playoffs is now over, so if you joined the Sports As Life hockey pool - that means it's time to make your picks for Round 2.

Go through the same song and dance as you did for Round 1, and do it by Thursday at 7pm Mountain Time.

Don't forget - or you will be mercilessly mocked. Actually that's not true because you'll probably still beat me.

Meagan Fox + Vancouver Canucks + John Olerud = This Post

Good day - Trebor stops by with a record-shattering third hockey post in as many days, and discusses living as a Canucks fan in hostile waters...


To be a fan of those guys skating around with a “C” on their jersey is tough. Even though I now live in Calgary, I’m not talking about the Flames but rather the Canucks, and no I was not born in Vancouver. I’ll give you a few seconds to settle down form the shock………

Really, I need to give you that pause because it seems pure blasphemy for saying I’m a Canucks fan and for saying I’m not a Flames fan even though I’m in Cowtown. The looks of bewilderment I get, kinda like when people think about why this girl:






















Is with B.A.G:





















I just felt like posting a pic, so it may not be like that at all but... enjoy. This last one isn’t from a magazine shoot or anything just walking down the street.




















I’ve noticed lately, maybe because everyone starts getting more interested in hockey now'a days, that the question comes up more often. I’m asked what team I cheer for, upon my answer I get a puzzling look usually followed by ‘I thought you’re from Saskatchewan’, or ‘I didn’t know you lived in Vancouver.’ Why???

If I said I was an Oilers fan, I would get a shake of the head maybe a pump of the fist, but there’s an understanding. A Maple Leafs fan would get a chuckle, even a Canadians fan makes more sense to people than someone cheering for the Canucks. This isn’t just a Calgarian thing either, when I lived in Regina/Estevan the same reactions. It has gotten to point of needing to know why?

My only reprieve to this shocking behavior was from a trip I took on the weekend to Prince George. There were Canuck fans, I didn’t feel left out. There were no questions of how dare I cheer for a non-Alberta team. Even though according to a map Edmonton and Calgary are closer than Vancouver.

I should say that I’m not a big hockey fan, but sometime after the All-Star break I start getting into the games more. Maybe because I like the idea that every game means something. Yes I know 1 point may decide who goes to the playoffs in the end, but it’s hard getting excited over a 3 game winning streak to start the season when there’s 79 games to go. A 3 game win streak when there’s 10 games to go... different story.

Throughout the season when I have time I’ll log onto a sports page and check scores and news stories and it’s usually centered around 2 teams: the Canucks and the Penguins. Down the stretch though I’ll start paying more attention to the Canucks and their race, be it for the playoffs or for the division title (thanks Pylon Dion Phaneuf... maybe that’s unfair, the whole team has been shaky though it seems most games you can find a clip of Dion being skated around like the skates were cement.



A bit old but the laugh is awesome.

Anyway back to the question I always get ’Why the canucks?’ - and the first answer that comes to me is “Trevor Linden” there aren’t many Trevor’s in sports (Cause we're lazy! Well that’s what the baby name book says) that I’m aware of, it’s not like Chris, so I had to cheer for him.

Also I really got introduced to hockey via pro deck trading card phenom which for me was early 90’s. This is also true for baseball and I'm not sure why, but the player I remember the most from back then was John Olerud. Not sure if his card was hard to get or I liked him because he was funny looking like me, but he’s the player that I think of when I think baseball cards. So yeah the trading card frenzy coincided with the Canucks big playoff run, losing to the Rangers in game 7, some 15 years ago.

So in a nutshell that’s the reason why. I thought I’d throw that out - because if you're going to be a fan there should be some reason, even if it’s just that my dad was a fan of this team... so I became one.

Anyway the point of all this ramblings is about to come to fruition. I know there are some hockey fans that read this blog, fans of the Flames (Ed. Note - That was goaltender interference!!1!1), of the Oilers, of the fro... Canadians and to them I ask: why is that it’s such a shock to people when they find out I’m a Canucks fan and I’m not from the island?

Now I’ll answer what I can see some people saying right off the bat... cause they suck. So other than that, is it that they don’t have as much history? The only thing I can think of is the towel waving being a Canuck thing, though it was waved as a flag for surrendering to the refs terrible game calling, not like it’s used today. Though maybe it’s cause they’ve never won the cup???

(At the one minute mark)


Being from the Canadian prairies, the team I cheer for pretty much has to be Canadian, and the only Canadian team without a cup is the Canucks. Is that why it’s hard to believe that someone is a fan? I wish I knew and maybe someone with more wisdom and knowledge of the game can help out.

This was supposed to come prior to the start of the playoffs but oh well, just don’t want people thinking I’m jumping on their bandwagon when they come out of the West and finally take the cup……

Speaking of bandwagons... There was a poll and 36% of the people in Calgary think the Flames will win the series. If they win game 1 I wonder how much that number will change - a guy at work is betting for 90% believe they’ll win the Cup.
(Ed. Note - Trebor sent this before the game last night, but I wasn't able to put it up until this morning. The poll number will probably be at about 15% today.)

Roger, The Red Light is On - We're Live! Roger!

Last season, things were going so well for SportsNet's Calgary Flames homer announcer, Roger Millions. He was the lead play-by-play man for the Flames and on top of the world. Now just one short year later, he's been relegated to sideline reporting duty and is now brazenly cursing on-air.

(NSFW - or at least turn the volume down for goodness sake)


It's pretty clear to me now that Millions is trying to get Costanza'd off of SportsNet. At the first Flames home playoff game he'll be climbing the netting behind the goal in a flesh-tone body suit.

Your triumphs mean nothing. You all stink. You can sit on it, and rotate! This is Roger Millions. I fear no reprisal. Extension five-one-seven-oh.

H/T: Deadspin

Talent, A Post About the NHL, and A Positive Outlook on Life

What are three things you thought you'd never see on SportsAsLife.com?

One down - don't hold your breath on the other two.

Well, once again we find ourselves in the middle of April - and despite my otherwise near complete ambivalence towards the sport, my thoughts are turning toward playoff hockey. Unlike Joe Thornton, who's ambivalence toward the sport of hockey doesn't begin until the middle of April (ZING!).

Despite the fact that I'm actually thinking about hockey now, I have no idea what to write about. I'm still baffled by the fact that in the Western Conference there are two goalies named Mason. But you know what? I'm just bored enough to actually do a playoff preview - perhaps I should have though about doing this yesterday, instead of 2 hours before the game actually. Oh well, if the pros can do it then why can't I?

Note: I've watched 6 hockey games this season, none that didn't involve the Calgary Flames. I just sayin'.

San Jose vs. Anaheim
Joe Thornton - fool me 5 years in a row, shame on me. Fool me one more year and I'll never forgive you. Only the Germans have a worse history of big springtime surrenders than does Thornton. But of course, once again I'm picking San Jose. They have to live up to expectations at some point, right?

Detroit vs. Columbus
Didn't anybody tell Detroit that goaltending is a fairly important aspect of the game? Ray Emery is probably stuck in a traffic jam in Russia, road-raging as we speak - I'm sure he'd be available. I'm not sure what's going to be more embarrassing - Detroit's goaltending or all the empty seats in the Joe Louis Arena (although when the unemployment rate is almost 14%, there are probably bigger worries than hockey). I'm going to pick Columbus - mostly because I hate the Red Wings and their failure brings me joy. Which of course means that Detroit will win in 4.

Vancouver vs. St. Louis
I'm basing this preview entirely on the belief that Al MacInnis still plays in St. Louis - if this is incorrect, please disregard this section of the preview. The previous sentence notwithstanding and as much as it pains me to admit, I think the Canucks will win the West. They seem to have a team that's built for the playoffs, read: ridiculous goaltending.

Calgary vs. Chicago
This should prove to be the most exciting first-round series, at least in the West. Most people have written off Calgary - what with their laundry list of injuries and sometimes suspect goaltending. Much has been made of Mikka Kiprusoff's terrible numbers this season - except for the fact that he led the league in wins. However, it is true that he may be out of gas - over the last two years he's seen more rubber than most Las Vegas working girls. Despite all that, I'll pick the (mild) upset and take Calgary.

Boston vs. Montreal
Apparently it's been awhile since Boston won a playoff series. I can't remember how long, as I have the memory retention capabilities of a Stegosaurus - and I don't even have the giant brain in my hindquarters, but man oh man if I did. Boston should steamroll Montreal in this series though. Montreal has more personality issues than Margot Kidder (Whoops - I just Googled Margot Kidder [just like Trudeau - ZING!] and apparently she's bipolar. I feel slightly bad, but not bad enough to take out the Margot Kidder line - you're just not allowed to laugh at it now. Not that that was going to be a problem in the first place. Because if Observe and Report taught us anything, it's that people with bipolar disorder aren't funny - especially when played by Seth Rogan)... now where was I? Bruins in a walk. Wow - I just re-read that paragraph and now I'm pretty sure that I'm bipolar.

Washington vs. New York
I'd like to say Washington will win this series but something troubles me about them. No it's not their shaky defence, or their goaltending, or their stimulus packages, or their pork-barrel politics - it's this. The economy is in the tank and you get a Portuguese dog? Shame on you. How is buying foreign going to stimulate the hard-hit American dog-breeding sector? That is no way to instill buyer confidence and encourage others to buy domestic. (I swear if this is somehow a version of a Daily Show joke, I'm pleading ignorance) I'm still picking Washington though, because I can't resist a dog wearing cheap plastic accessories.

New Jersey vs. Carolina
And the award for most boring playoff series of all-time goes to... Hey, what can I say - old stereotypes die hard. I don't know, flip a coin - New Jersey I guess.

Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia
Because I am inclined to irrationally hate anything that is popular, I hate the Pittsburgh Penguins - especially that Cosby kid with the girl's name. Having said that, they probably have too much talent not to win this series. But man oh man, would I love to see Philly beat up on Pittsburgh for six or seven games - with Crosby diving and whining and crying all over the ice. A man can dream, can't he? Grudgingly, Pittsburgh.

Congratulations, You Didn't Win! Unless of Course You Did, In Which Case - Congratulations!

Congratulations to commenter 'Walks' for his victory in this year's Sports As Life Lousy Smarch Madness pool. As a reward for his good guessing well-reasoned picks and pool victory, we here at Sports As Life are pleased to announce his prize of a complimentary Sport As Life t-shirt.

These shirts are great for lining rabbit cages, tourniquets, mulch or hiding in the back of closets. So Walks, if you happen to read this, please choose your shirt from the T-Shirt store link on the side and let me know which one and size and all those details. I should warn you though, there will be some new T-shirt designs up later this week - so you might want to hold off on making your selection for a couple of days.

If you didn't win this coveted prize, are you now gritting your teeth in rage? FEAR NOT! Playoff hockey is right around the corner and this means another chance to win some lovely prizes.

Remember that Sportsnet username you thought you'd never use again? Ha - you can use it again right now! Sports As Life is proud to once again present the Hockey Playoffs? Don't Talk About Hockey Playoffs - Are You Kidding Me? Pool.

Here's what you have to do. Follow this link:

http://fantasy.sportsnet.ca/sportsnet/hkplayoff09/promo

Sign up for the contest using the same username you used for the Smarch Madness pool - unless of course you want to pick a new one.

Then join the group called, Sports As Life and use the password: hockey

The hockey pool is going to require some more attention than did the March Madness one. What you need to do is pick a team of 3 forwards, 2 defenceman and 1 goalie from each the Western and Eastern Conference. You have the ability to do this before the 2nd and 3rd rounds as well, so if it's going to be something you're going to forget about or stop caring about, maybe this pool isn't for you. But if you were a part of the pool in past years, you know what the story is.

You can join now and start to enter your picks, but make sure the players you pick actually make the playoffs. As of Sunday night, the playoff teams will be decided and you'll know for sure who is eligible to be picked. The deadline to enter your picks is 7pm eastern on Wednesday the 15th.

So join now!

Oh, Snap... My Soft Tissue

I must say, it's really too bad that a) that hit was helmet to helmet and b) McGahee got hurt and was carted off - because barring those two things, that might have been the hit of the century. Was it dirty? I don't think so, Clark just ducked his head to hit McGahee. But was it illegal? Hoo boy, you better it believe it. Despite what Phil Simms thinks, I'm 100% certain that you can't hit a player helmet-to-helmet anywhere on the field. I think Clark has to at least get fined for it, no?

And while we're on the subject, I think this pretty much confirms what I've suspected all along - Phil Simms is functionally retarded. He's clearly graduated from the broadcasting school of "Just Saying Random Words While Trying to Prove a Point." Say what you will about guys like Kornheiser, Aikman and Baldinger but Simms is far and away the worst broadcaster in football.

But how about those Cardinals of Arizona? That was quite a game, it certainly made up for the late game being mostly a snoozer. And it's obviously been a long time since I've watched an Eagles game because I forgot that Donovan McNabb really isn't very good. Not sure how I forgot that. It's a good thing the Cardinals pulled that one out in the end, at least we have a shot at a decent Super Bowl now. If the Eagles had somehow stolen that game they would have been wiped off the face of the Earth by the Steelers.

And now we only have two weeks of completely manufactured media stories before we actually get a football game.

Playoffs? Don't Talk About Playoffs, Are You Kidding Me?

Ok, I will admit it... at the moment, I'm a little bored with the NFL playoffs. I'm sorry, ok? That's just how I feel.

Don't get me wrong I watched all the games on Wildcard weekend and enjoyed them for the most part. I'm just not finding any of the games or more importantly, the teams, very compelling. I've got nobody to root for and even worse, nobody to root against. That should mean I can just sit back, relax, and enjoy watching without giving myself a stroke. But of course, those who know me well know that I'm really not happy unless I'm furious about something. Which means that I'm finding something lacking in these games.

Sure with each team there are things, both good and bad, that I find interesting.

I could root against San Diego because Phillip Rivers is a spectacular pile of assface, but in all honesty he's nowhere near as dislikable as he used to be. And he is a pretty good quarterback, even though I'm pretty sure he throws the ball underhand. Seeing Norv Turner's latest epic fail is always funny too. But they just don't raise that "New England-esqe" ire in me.


Pittsburgh I don't really mind. They were my fantasy defence this season, so I have a soft spot for them. But they just won the Super Bowl 3 years ago, so I'm not rooting for them to break a 3 decade drought or anything *cough*Kansas City, 29 years*cough*. I give them a solid "meh".

I find Tennessee to be extremely boring, they're a solid team though so I can't really dislike them too much. Plus I love watching a solid defence. And Albert Haynesworth should have been the MVP.

Baltimore might be the leading contender for my playoff nemesis this season. I like the team and Ed Reed could also have been the MVP, plus I enjoy seeing good rookie quarterbacks. But I will never cheer for a team that Ray Lewis is on.

Arizona I have no strong feelings about one way or the other.


They have an explosive offence, but I really couldn't care less if they win or lose. Of course they're going to lose this weekend, so I'm really not too concerned.

The neutrality I feel towards Arizona is pretty similar with Carolina too, only with a more positive slant. I wouldn't really have a problem with Carolina winning the Super Bowl but I wouldn't lose any sleep if they lost either.

New York I actually like... well I like Eli Manning. Seeing him in the America's Game about last season's Giants made me a big Eli fan. And I'd be rooting for them but they won last year and I'm in favour of giving other people a chance.

And then there's the Eagles - after going through all these teams while writing this, I think I've deciding to make the Eagles my team for the playoffs (which of course means they will be crushed by 85 points this weekend). Normally I wouldn't care less about the Eagles and I really can't stand Brian Dawkins. But I would enjoy seeing Donovan McNabb win a Super Bowl so maybe people would give him a break already. That guy's been through more crap than Andy Dufrense.


So I'll keep watching the playoffs because I loves me some football, but it's difficult not having a vested interest in the games this year. Truth be told I'm much more interested in the Chiefs' search for a new GM (and soon head coach, /crosses fingers). But emotionally attached or not, the playoffs are still a great excuse to sprawl on the couch in sweats while covered in chip crumbs...

Like I've ever needed an excuse for that.