Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Return of Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby



Trebor returns for his first Fantasy Football post of the year. Truth be told he sent it to me on Friday but we had our Sports As Life fantasy draft today, so I didn't want to give anything away. I'm sure there are still people out there who haven't had their drafts yet, so I'm sure this will still be topical. Here's what he has to say:


Originally I was going to write about my first time doing a mock draft. With the hectic summer of Trebor I felt I didn’t really know what was going on - so I thought I’d see if there are any kind of trends, what were the valuable position and see some possible sleeper candidates. I was also going to write this 2-3 weeks ago but... Oops.

Instead I thought I’d pass along something important I found out this week about fantasy football - this may seem obvious but I’ve kinda ignored it the past few years. Know the rules, know the league. The topic even fits with the upcoming Sports As Life draft though on Yahoo… do we have 10 yet ?? Anyway I got an email from one of the leagues that’s drafting next week, spots were randomly drawn and I got 10th out of 12. Some people may not like being so close to the end but honestly I hate being in the middle - the worst picks are 5-8. The first round is terrible cause of those 4 picks there is no real difference between the value you’ll get, so it’s personal choice. However 2 of those 4 will probably be busts. Also you have to wait so long in between picks.

Anyway I looked down at my cheat sheet which is fairly close to anyone’s out there and number 10... Marian the Barbarian, or maybe Marshawn Lynch... both good backs that should post solid number. Then I look at #14 and it’s Owens or Romo. 2 solid picks and if the draft was that day I may have picked that way. However it wasn’t so I had some time to do some research and I’m glad I did.

First of all the rules are like no other league… TH and the Editor can account for that. You start 2 qb’s,2rb’s,2wr’s,1 rb/wr flex, 1 TE, 1 Wr/Te flex, 2 k, 2 Def. The scoring is also non standard in that it’s yards weighted. I took Wayne and Barber’s numbers from last year just cause they are good examples. Last year in standard scoring Wayne :135, Barber 119. In this league however Wayne: 210 Barber: 158. That’s a big difference and they both had the same TD count but wayne had 500 more yards.

So that’s confirming that I should be taking a top WR that will get lots of yards, it also makes Barber overvalued at #10. What it really did was make me consider going WR/WR.

For the past years the fantasy gurus will say take rb/rb/rb, or at least two rb’s in the first 3 rounds, the only exception was manning, and 1 or 2 wr’s. This year it’s different though, there are too many injuries with the top backs, and also too many committee type situations. Of the top 10 running backs there is no real committee situation - though Felix Jones may steal carries, Barber is the guy in Dallas. After that you get to MJD, Willie, Jacobs, who will lose work to the #2 rb. No one is saying Wr/Wr/Wr, but there’s a lot more of them this year in the top 25 on any website ranking sheet.

I may be in trouble doing this down the road, but I think I’d still get a decent back, Edge or Jamal Lewis. The reason being is a trend probably would start. Going into a draft you have your players ranked or know who you want, which is fine. Others tier the positions, which is a bit better. So for top WR you might have: Owens, Wayne, Braylon, Andre Johnson, Colston. Then teir 2: Housh, Fitz, Steve smith, Holt.

So the point with tiering is that you go into the draft saying I want a top tier receiver, or more likely I want no less than a 2nd tier wr. Then when it comes to your pick you look down and let’s say out of your 9 guys, there are still 7 available. You determine when your next pick will be, if after this pick your next selection is 10 spots later you weigh the odds. What are the chances that 7 of the next 10 picks are wr’s. You’ll determine you can pick a different position and still get a top wr. If however your at the 10th spot between round 2 and 3 there’s 20 picks in between - if you don’t take one of those guys now you won’t get the chance later.

So by selecting wr/wr, people will have to jump on a receiver earlier than they may have wanted, leaving some rb’s for my 3rd round pick.

However, the second point this was know your league. This may be tough for a first timer, but if you’re with the same group of guys you should try to see if they have any tendencies... maybe they’re a raiders fan (why I don’t know) and they try and grab them or stay away at all costs, or maybe they really like quarterbacks. Point is use whatever information to your advantage.

In this same league the guy at #11, who I couldn’t pick out of a crowd for the past 3 years he’s picked Manning in the first round. Safe bet that he’ll do it again. What that means is that by the time I chose my 2nd player there will likely be 2 qb’s taken... maybe 3. Since this league also starts 2 qb’s a lot are taken early on. Last year in the 3rd round Brees was selected, and in total of the first 26 picks 10 were quarterbacks. This is where the noodle scratching starts, if I wait for round 3 to select a QB, by previous years results I’m looking at Jay Cutler-ish, for my #1 qb, tier 3 for my list. Not that good, so wr/wr may not be the best??

I’ve changed my mind on this a couple of times and probably will a few more times before the draft. The point is to have a strategy going into the draft, even if you don’t stick to it in the least, it will get you thinking and into draft mode. There’s nothing worse than coming out of draft looking down at your players and saying... damn... better luck next year. And you can’t devise any kind of strategy without knowing the rules.

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Buffalo Bills

The Buffalo Bills




"-Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?
-Sorry I don't eat buffalo.”


Well the AFC East should be a lot more competitive this year than in recent years. Don't get me wrong, it's still a one-horse race for the division title. But the three other teams have gotten better and each might have a shot at the playoffs. Buffalo included.

The Verdict
I don't really have much to say about Buffalo, other than they're going to be a tough team to beat this year I think. They're not flashy but they should have a good shot at the playoffs this year. Their success depends on how well/poorly Trent Edwards plays this year.

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Seattle Seahawks

The Seattle Seahawks



"Cause baby, I'm an anarchist,
You're a spineless liberal.
We marched together for the eight-hour day
And held hands in the streets of Seattle,
But when it came time to throw bricks
Through that Starbucks window,
You left me all alone."

- Baby I'm An Anarchist
, Against Me!


I hate the Seahawks... there I said it. No team in the league is as constantly overrated as Seattle. They are they best team in the worst division in the NFL and every year people talk about them like they're some sort of juggernaut. As you can probably tell I'm not buying into it, yet again.

Yes they will make the playoffs - mostly by default - by way of winning the NFC West. The other three teams in that division did get better, but probably not enough to overtake the Seahawks.

There are some serious questions about Seattle though. Their defence is probably in the top 10 in the NFL and likely to stay that way. The offence is where the problems will be - especially at wide receiver, mostly because they don't have any healthy ones.

Deion Branch, Bobby Engram, and Ben Obomanu are all out for various lengths of time with various injuries. That leaves Nate Burelson as the de facto 'go-to' guy, which is about 7 different types of terrifying.

And not to be Pessimist Pete but I think Seattle should also be extraordinarily worried about their running back situation. I have to think that Sun-Tzu would have something to say about going to war with Julius Jones and T.J. Duckett in your backfield. I watched Duckett play in a preseason game this week and he runs like a 300-pound emperor penguin - he was even cramming mackerel down his gullet on the sidelines.

The Verdict
They win the NFC West, again - by winning most of their games at home and losing most of their games on the road. And I will be rooting against them in all of those games - unless of course I end up with Matt Hasselbeck on my Fantasy Football team again. Which, if history has taught us anything, is pretty much guaranteed to happen.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - San Francisco 49ers

The San Francisco 49ers




"You tell me I am home, back in San Francisco
And I know what you did in San Francisco
I know what you did in San Francisco"

- San Francisco
, Vanessa Carlton


Wow, that is not even close to a good song. Apologies.

So did you hear that Mike Martz is going to be the 49ers offensive co-ordinator this year? You know how Radiohead made like 3 great albums and then all of a sudden everything they did was genius, when in reality everything since Ok Computer has not been good, but nobody would say it because they were musical geniuses? It's like that with Mike Martz.

He hasn't really been any good in about 6 years but everybody still thinks he's some sort of offensive wizard.

And yeah Radiohead fans, I said it - that band jumped the shark at Ok Computer. Don't give me any crap about me not "getting" the music they make now. I get it alright, it just ain't any good.

Just like the 49ers.

If Frank Gore isn't the most overrated player in the league, he's got to be close. Right?

And you'll forgive if I'm not confident in J.T O'Sullivan's ability to lead the 49ers back to relevance.

The defence should still be solid. Patrick Willis will still be a destroyer of men. But I just don't think their offence is going to be a whole lot better than it was last year. Yeah Martz had some success throwing the ball in Detroit - but J.T O'Sullivan is not Jon Kitna (and that's just about the saddest thing I've ever typed) and Arnez Battle/Isaac Bruce are not Roy Williams/Calvin Johnson.

The Verdict
The Rams probably leap-frog them this year in the NFC West putting the 49ers in the basement. It makes me a little sad to see the team I loved as a child turned to rubble. And it's too bad that Mike Nolan - the best dressed coach in the league - will be out of a job after the season.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - St. Louis Rams

The St. Louis Rams




"Mmmmm, you can find me, in St. Louis rollin on dubs
Smokin on dubs in clubs, blowin up like cocoa puffs
Sippin Bud, gettin perved and getting dubbed"

- Country Grammar
, Nelly


That's right kids - it's a 32 Teams in 30-Some Days two-for today. Those 30-some days are quickly running out and I've got some catching up to do. And hey - it's the NFC West, how much can I really say about these teams anyway.

The good news for the Rams is that it probably can't get any worse than last season. 3-13 is almost as bad as it can get, unless you're the Miami Dolphins of course.

The other good news for St. Louis is that they won't be pulling guys off the street to play on their offensive line - at least not yet anyway. They were just decimated by injuries on the line last year. Although their center is already out for the season - possibly a sign of things to come?

Marc Bulger and Tory Holt are probably still going to be Marc Bulger and Tory Holt. I really hate the fact that Stephen Jackson missed all of training camp and might not play in the preseason. I have a hard time believing he's going to be at full speed once the season starts.

One guy I'm really looking forward to watching is Chris Long. I think it'll be interesting to see which of the defensive linemen picked in the top 5 has the better year - Long or Glenn Dorsey.

The Verdict
Better. But far from the greatest show on turf they used to be. When healthy they probably have the offence to stay in most games. But I just don't think they have the defence to stop many teams. 6-10, 7-9 sound about right?

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Arizona Cardinals

The Arizona Cardinals




"Well, Im a standing on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see
Its a girl, my lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin down to take a look at me"

- Take It Easy,
The Eagles


You know what's funny about the Arizona Cardinals? Apparently nothing. I've been sitting here for the last 30 minutes trying to come up with something clever to lead with - and I've got nothing. Literally nothing.

The Cardinals seem like they should be better than they. They have tons of talent - especially on offence. But I just don't think it's going to amount to much, even though I'd love to see them get close to Seattle for the division.

But it appears that's not going to be the case this year. Matt Leinart, the heir apparent at quarterback, hasn't progressed and is constantly hurt. So it seems like the 1,000 year old Kurt Warner might be the starter.

One of their two star recievers has now also demanded a trade apparently, as he is no longer speaking to head coach Ken Wisenhunt. So that all seems like a great situation.

The Verdict
Not good. It seems like there's just too many problems on this team for the to compete. They'll probably be a decent team - possibly somewhere around .500. But they're still not in a position to challenge for the division title - and I think winning the division is the only way they make the playoffs.

Monday, August 25, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers




I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
- Daysleeper
, REM


Hey - that was the best I could do. You try to come up with something clever to say about Tampa Bay, who's slogan I believe is, "The only Florida city that's not Miami with no major theme parks - and no, Busch Gardens does not count." Trust me, there's not much to work with.

And speaking of not much to work with, how 'bout them Buccaneers?



I'm not sure of much going into this NFL season, but I am sure of this - the Buccaneers will not win the NFC South again. The Saints and Panthers both got better and the Bucs just sort of stayed the same and got a year older.

Jeff Garcia has been hurt most of the preseason and he's no spring chicken to begin with - although Brian Griese has looked pretty good in relief.

And I'm not sure when we all decided that Ernest Graham was a viable #1 back but apparently that's the case now, as Cadillac Williams now runs like a Yugo.

Tampa's defence will probably be solid again - although their days of dominance are long gone. They did lead the league in pass defence last year though.

The Verdict
It seems like Tampa made the playoffs last year by default - somebody had to make it from the NFC South. And they really made no moves to improve a team that was "just ok". And I think that's where they'll be again this year 7-9 or 8-8. Unfortunately a couple other teams in their division got better and leap-frogged them I think. But when it comes to possibly gay football players, Tampa's got the best in the business.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - New Orleans Saints

The New Orleans Saints



Mr. Big: Is THIS the stupid mother who tailed you uptown?
James Bond: There seems to be some mistake. My name is...
Mr. Big: Names is for tombstones, baby! Y'all take this honkey out and WASTE HIM! NOW!
- Live and Let Die

Last year, amid high hopes and coming off an appearance in the NFC Championship game, the Saints had given New Orleans a new spirit and some hope for the future. However, after and 0-4 start their playoff chances sunk faster than the 9th Ward – ok, even I feel bad about writing that.

However, that was last year.

The Verdict
This year I love the Saints... love them. Which of course means they're going to go 4-12. But I do think they'll be back to where they were two years ago, and probably better than that. The Saints made some big improvements on defence, which was a huge problem for them last year.

The question this year is going to be the running game. NFL rule prohibit Duece McAllister from getting robotic knees, so he may be ineffective - if he's even available at all - after coming off about 18 knee surgeries in the last 3 years. That means the burden is going to fall on Reggie Bush again - and so far in his career he has show that he's really not up to that challenge. I think this is the make or break year for Reggie Bush - and he'll be out to prove he's not a glorified third-down back.

This was the closest Bush came to making a meaningful impact last year:

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Carolina Panthers

The Carolina Panthers



"In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm gone to Carolina in my mind"


- Carolina in My Mind by James Taylor


A lot of people are thinking this is going to be the bounce-back season for Carolina. I, for one, am not one of them.

The Panthers are going to be better than they were last year, when Jake Delhomme got hurt and they were quarterbacked by The Highlander Vinny Testaverde. They also drafted Jonathan Stewart and Jeff Otah, who probably start or at least split time this season. Muhsin Muhammad also returns to the Panthers this season. That's the good news.

The bad news is that Delhomme, the key to the Panthers whole season, had Tommy John surgery less than a year ago. And from what I've read it takes over a year for a pitcher to fully recover from the surgery. I don't think that there is as much stress on a quarterback's elbow as a pitcher's though. However, I have my doubts about Delhomme being effective or making it through the season.

Then there is Steve Smith - who has apparently gone waaay around the bend. In the first week of training camp he sucker-punched a teammate and broke his nose. Now Smith is suspended for the first 2 games of the year. Smith is one of the best in the game but he's just a little bit insane.

On defence, Carolina should be solid. Julius Peppers has disappeared faster than New Coke, but if he returns to form they'll be very solid. Carolina has a good group of linebackers either way.

The Verdict
I think there is the belief among some that Carolina can win the NFC South. That's just not going to happen. There are too many things that can go wrong this season for the Panthers. I think as an absolute best-case scenario, Carolina could hang around and sneak into the Wild Card.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Atlanta Falcons

The Atlanta Falcons



Amy: So, Fry, Atlanta was an American city in your time?
Fry: I think it was just an airport. They had a place where you could buy nuts.
Umbriel: No! Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub. It was a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.
Fry: That's right, honey! Whatever you say.
Umbriel: Look at these fabulous ruins. Turner Field, the Coca-Cola bottling plant, the, uh, the airport.

I sort of wish Atlanta was at the bottom of the ocean right now - at least then I wouldn't have to write this stupid preview.

In fact, I have absolutely nothing to say about the Falcons - they could probably not show up to any of their games this season and I wouldn't notice. Yes they drafted Matt Ryan number 3 overall in draft - but there's really no reason at all for him to see much of the field this season. They going to be awful no matter what, so why ruin him early?

Instead of the drudgery of a Falcons preview I'm putting up videos of all those 90's fad-rap songs we knew and loved - mostly just because I can. In fact, I think I'm going to rank them by how well they hold up today.

#1 - "Jump Jump" by Kriss Kross

This might be a surprise #1 to some people, but what can I say? It's still a good song. Great beat and those backwards kids could actually rap a bit. Although I can't believe wearing your jeans backwards was ever cool - even if it was only for about 5 minutes.

#2 - "Jump Around" by House of Pain

This is probably #1 on most people's lists - but it gets bumped down to number 2 here. Although it might be the best opening 30 seconds of any song, ever.

#3 - "Informer" by Snow

Do you still remember the first time you said to yourself, "Wait, he's white?" It was a seminal moment in all of our lives - we all had to grow up sometime. Informer has a good beat but I still think he's just making up the "words" as he goes. This might actually be the better song:


#4 - Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

This... this is really not anywhere as good as it used to be. For Ice Ice Baby to be enjoyable it needs to be played at maximum volume so the bass line can be enjoyed at its best. Although I do love Vanilla Ice wearing his University of Miami sweatshirt in the video - he's so hardcore. The opening David Bowie/Queen sample is probably the only reason this song was popular in the first place. I'm obviously getting older because I think Ice Ice Baby is weak and this is a great song:


#5 - Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

Awful, just awful. I can't believe people used to listen to this and enjoy it - myself included. With all the others I can still listen to them and remember what I liked about each one. But not Can't Touch This. No wonder this guy went broke, nobody wanted to hear this stupid song ever again. At least the other songs get put on party mixes and are played at block parties and ugly people's weddings. Super Freak is a better song for goodness sake.

Now that I've met my yearly quota of YouTube clips, I've got an aside:

Hey Mongolia - why don't you just go suck it!?!! We're rolling with our 4 medals now. You're next Azerbaijan!! CAN-A-DA!! CAN-A-DA!! CAN-A-DA!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Minnesota Vikings

The Minnesota Vikings



Horrible indeed. Wow.

But I tell you what's not going to horrible, the Minnesota Vikings. I'm going on the record right now as saying that I am hitching my wagon to Tarvaris Jackson's star. He looked pretty darn good in the Viking's preseason opener and he is not going to be the catastrophe everyone thinks he'll be. I'm not saying he's going to the Pro Bowl but he's not going to be killing his team either.

Just remember where you heard it first.

Luckily for Jackson, he doesn't have to carry to the offence. Minnesota still has this guy, in case you forgot:



I'm in no way a Vikings fan but there is nobody in the league I love to watch run more than Peterson. I would probably marry him, if he'd have me.

Two things worry me about him this season though. First, he slowed down at the end of last season and might be prone to the odd injury here and there this season. He just runs so hard that it's bound to happen eventually. If he suffers a major injury, the Vikings are pretty much done.

The second thing that worries me is the departure of fullback Tony Richardson to the Jets. I might be making too big a deal out of this, but I think losing Richardson could have a significant effect on Peterson. Remember how good Kansas City's running game used to be? Richardson was the fullback there too. Now how good is that running game (yes, there were other factors - like the whole offensive line retired).

I'm almost positive that Peterson is good enough to dominate regardless of who is blocking for him. However, I've still got a small, lingering doubt.

The Verdict
If Peterson stays healthy, the offence is going to be fine. But did I mention that Minnesota is going to be pretty dang good on defence too? They were almost impossible to run on last year, with the Williams sisters in the middle. Now they've also added drunk driving aficionado and last years sack leader, Jared Allen. The days of the Purple People Eaters have returned.

That defence might put up more zeros than Canada's Olympic medal count - seriously, the only country without a medal so far? Mongolia, Uzbekistan, Tajikstan, and Togo all have at least one medal. When Mongolia is beating you at something, it's officially gotten embarrassing.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Green Bay Packers

The Green Bay Packers




BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE BRETT FAVRE

The Verdict
It's as simple as this - as Aaron Rodgers goes, so go the Packers. I think the Packers can still be a very good team, if Rodgers isn't killing them game in and game out that is. They should still be able to run the ball and still have a great pair of receivers in Jennings and Driver. Rodgers has all the weapons to win games, he just needs to take advantage of them. If he doesn't, the Packers fans are going to be on him instantly. Even with Jets Quarterback #4 now gone, this is still an extremely volatile situation in Green Bay.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Detroit Lions

And now, a moment of honesty. On Friday I was given a copy of an interview about Brett Favre Jets' Quarterback #4 with the only Jets fan I know. However, wouldn't you know it - I forgot the copy at work. I had every intention of running it today but I had no intention of going back into work today. So it'll either be put up on Monday or I may just wait until the Jets preview to put it up - which should be in, ohh, about 47 days.


THE DETROIT LIONS



"This ain't no movie, there's no Mekhi Pheiffer."
- B. Rabbit


No movie indeed, this is just sad, sad reality for Lions fans. If this train wreck of a team was a movie it would probably be Vanilla Sky.

Here is something you might not have realized, cause I didn't until I read it this week - with the departure of Brett Favre Jets' Quarterback #4, the Lions' Jon Kitna is now the best quarterback in the NFC North. Isn't that just about the saddest thing you've ever heard?

Time may prove that to be false - Aaron Rodgers and Tarvaris Jackson may turn into the next Kelly and Marino... you know, if one of those two guys had been black. But for right now, Kitna is the cream of the crop.

In all seriousness, Kitna might be the walking embodiment of mediocrity but his receivers are not. Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson have the potential to be the best receiver duo in the league. They're not there yet - it might help if they had 9 other talented players on offence with them. Actually, 9 is probably asking for a lot - 1 other talented player on offence might help.

And if you were worried that Detroit might not be able to meant it's League-mandated quota of running backs named Kevin after they released Kevin Jones, fear not - they drafted a new Kevin, Kevin Smith. So they got that going for them, which is nice.

Oh, in the off-season Detroit traded their best defensive player. And he was the kind of player who liked to take plays off. That should tell you a thing or two about what to expect from the Lions on defence.

The Verdict
The Lions... well, the Lions are still the Lions. There's probably a 'leopard can't change it's spots' joke in there somewhere, I just don't feel like fishing for it at the moment. The good news for the Lions is that Mike Martz is gone - remember when we thought that guy was an actual genius, not just a self-proclaimed one? Despite this speck of good news, it appears as though the paper bags that Lions fans wear on their heads will again be the best selling piece of team merchandise. Personally, I think the whole Detroit Lions organization and it's fans would benefit from participating in this wonderful bit of Detroit culture before every game:


Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Series of Brett/Jet Puns

I'm breaking my one rule today - but it's a big day and I want to do this and never hear about Brett Favre again. What's that you say? He's been traded to New York, the media capital of North America?

Drat.

The worst part of all of this is that Brett and Jet rhyme. Which means that uncreative fans and newspaper editors everywhere are going to go to milk that to death. Let's get them out of the way right now, although you know there's going to be 4,000 of these signs at every game in the Meadowlands. And in most newspapers across North America.

Off the top of my head:

Brett's Jets
Brett Jets to Big Apple
Packers Suffering From Brett-lag
J-E-T-S BRETT BRETT BRETT - (this is from jetsnation.com)
The New York Bretts

But my favorite is:

Brettie and the Jets
Hey kids, plug into the faithless
Maybe they're blinded
But Brettie makes them ageless
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
Where we fight our parents out in the streets
To find who's right and who's wrong.
B-B-B-B-Brettie and the Jets.

Brett-ie
Brett-ie
Brett-ie and Jets

I think I'm going to be sick.


But what do I think of the trade? I will admit it could make the Jets a much better team. Normally I would be pretty indifferent, but Kansas City has the Jets on their schedule this year - so I have a vested interest in all this.

If Favre stays healthy and doesn't throw 10,000,000 interceptions it probably makes the Jets a playoff contender. They do still have to play New England twice and at San Diego and at Seattle - but other than that the schedule is pretty soft. There is the potential for 10 wins there.

However, I think this is going to be one of the most spectacular back-fires in the history of sport. Remember how last season ended for Favre? I expect there's a lot more where that came from. And we all know how forgiving the New York fans and media can be.

For the Jets it was probably the right move to make - they don't have to give up a whole lot, it should end up being a 2nd or 3rd round pick, depending on how much Favre plays. The window to actually win in the NFL is very small and teams need to take advantage of it while they can.

My biggest concern in all of this is that the arrival of Favre in New York makes Chad Pennington very expendable. And do you know what team needs an experienced quarterback and is coached by Pennington's former coach - you guessed it, the Kansas City Chiefs. If that noodle-armed mistake machine ends up on the Chiefs, I may just have to re-evaluate everything.

I have put in a call to the one Jets fan I know - and if he has anything interesting to say, you may just read about it tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Chicago Bears


"Da question is: Now, did God create Da Bears, and make them superior to all teams?
Or is he simply a huge fan, and Ditka made them superior to all other teams?"
- Bill Swerski

The Chicago Bears

Wow, can you believe this is a team that was in the Super Bowl two years ago? They were 7-9 last year and got nothing but worse in the off season. Yes, the defence can still be dominant - but let's take a quick look at the offence shall we?

The quarterback job is going to come down to a decision between Kyle Orton and Rex Grossman - which is sort of like deciding between the horse manure on toasted focaccia or the chef's salad with kitty litter and battery acid. The Bears would probably be over the moon if people were describing either one of these guys as a 'game manager' at the end of the season - and not 'spectacular failures'. This does not bode well.

Then there are the running backs. Starter Cedric Benson, who the Bears dumped Thomas Jones to keep, runs like a walrus on land - only without the game breaking speed and durability. The Bears also have an Adrian Peterson, but unfortunately for them it's not that Adrian Pederson.

But what about wide receivers you ask? Well I'm glad you did. Did you know Chicago's starting wide receivers were Brandon Lloyd and Marty Booker? If you were playing NFL 2K4, that might not be so bad but this is 2008 and these guys stink. Sure they want Devin Hester to play some wide receiver - but he's a guy who needs the other receivers to show him where to stand on the field. Colour me skeptical.

On defence the Bears should still be fine - if they can avoid injuries, something they have not done lately. It should only be 3 or 4 weeks until Mike Brown's latest season-ending injury.

The Verdict
Like the man said, this is going to get worse before it gets better. The Bears have the defence to compete for the playoffs, but almost no offensive talent to speak of at all. And the defence is probably going to wear down pretty quick when they're on the field 56 of 60 minutes a game.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

32 Teams in 30-Some Days - Washington Redskins

A special Sunday Edition of 32 Teams in 30-Some Days. And wouldn't you know it, the team that's being showcased tonight is playing in the Hall of Fame Game right now as I type. That's right folks, the NFL preseason has officially begun. I don't even care that this game will mostly feature the future gym teachers of America - that's just how excited I am. But on to the task at hand...




THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS

It only took the Washington Redskins 2 plays to score the first touchdown of the NFL preseason!! The Redskins are an unstoppable force!! They will win the Super Bowl and humble every other team while doing it!!

Nah, I'm kidding - the Redskins will win the Super Bowl, but they won't run away with it.

Nah, I'm kidding - the Redskins, they... they probably won't be all that good.

Actually, I don't think the Redskins are going to be very good at all. They definitely have talent but they seem like a team that's going in a dozen different directions. New rookie head coach - who wasn't even originally hired to be their coach by the way. Drafting 2 wide receivers and a tight end with their first three picks in the draft - when what they really needed was to get younger on defence. An offensive line that seems to suffer at least one major injury every season. The unproven starting quarterback is coming off a major knee injury. And a running back that is soon due for a massive drop-off in production.

Note: In the spirit of full disclosure, for a second there I thought the Redskins rookie tight end's name was Fred Jones, not Fred Davis, and I was going to post this video just because I could:



Well, why should the facts stop me from doing what I want?

The Verdict
The Redskins definitely have the potential to be better than I think they'll be. However, there just seems to be a lot working against them. Jim Zorn has absolutely no experience. Jason Campbell is not always consistent and is coming back from a knee injury. Clinton Portis has a lot of miles on him. Jason Taylor might still be thinking about dancing. I have a hard time believing that Zorn will be able to pull all of these things together, at least not in his first year.

Although after the way Colt Brennan played tonight - I think he has the potential to be the most popular athlete accused of rape since Kobe Bryant.