Norv Turner Just Informed His Team Has More Games to Play
So the Chargers are headed to the AFC Championship game eh? Let me just say for the record that I will be a Patriots fan for that day. I'll be rooting for the Chargers to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Don't get me wrong, San Diego is a nice team with some very good players - I really like LT and Antonio Gates. However, Philip Rivers is taking prickishness to a whole new level. I should state that I didn't see all the Indy/San Diego game, but I have it on good authority that Rivers decided to taunt Colts fans while he was injured on the sidelines - and Billy Volek was leading the game winning drive. (I have since seen the footage) I could never in good conscience put my support behind a team lead by such an insufferable infant. I hope Rivers heals in time to play in Foxboro, just so we can see him get his comeuppance. Comeuppance!
Check out this post on Kissing Suzy Kolber - it sums Rivers up perfectly. The post is R-rated, so proceed with caution. And thanks to Trebor for sending it along to me.
Phil Simms Calls Patriots Game; Brings Self to Orgasm
Is there no way that CBS can get someone besides Phil Simms to do colour commentary for Patriots games? Please? Simms' blatant fanboy style makes Bob Cole look fair and impartial by comparison. If it were possible for Tom Brady to impregnate a man - instead of, you know, actresses and supermodels - Simms would be sending more flowers and chocolates to Gillette Stadium than the front office could process.Watching a completely dominant and unstoppable Patriots team is bad enough as it is - do we really need the broadcast team to be cheering for them as well?
Simms might tolerable if he could actually speak English - but whatever he's speaking, that ain't English. Is it too much to ask for networks to employ personalities who can actually speak the language. See: Smith, Emmitt.
Why I'm No Longer Welcome at the YMCA
Because of some deluded notion about self-improvement, I found myself at the local Y on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to the advancements in modern science, I was able to watch the first quarter of the Green Bay/Seattle on the little TV attached to my Elliptical Machine.
However, due to Ryan Grant's 2 fumbles in the first 6 nanoseconds of the game, and my subsequent stream of questionable language, I was nearly force off the premises. But as they say, the cream always rises to the stop and Seattle was beaten like a gong for the final 55 minutes of the game. Shaun Alexander's 20 yards and 2.2 yard average brought joy to my heart.
And speaking of bringing joy to my heart - that was a football game wasn't it? Driving snow in Lambeau Field and Brett Favre making one of the great plays I've ever seen. Watching that game reminded me why I love sports. Sometimes I need that reminder with all of the other garbage in sport.
Do you realize that if not for those 2 early fumbles, the final score would have been 42-6? Although I think there's a principle in physics that says changing one aspect of an event will ultimately change the final result. Maybe that's Occam's Razor. Or maybe it's the one about the cat in the box.
Mexico: Not Just For Violent Stomach Ailments Anymore
Now it's also the place to go before you put together a textbook football choke-job. The New York Giants are now going to the NFC Championship game... I'll just let that sink in for a second. At least the league's Mandatory Manning in a Championship Game policy is being followed to the letter. Sponsors and talking-heads will be over-joyed. Unfortunately it's the Frank Stallone of Mannings... Elisha.
How the Giants continue to play in the post-season is just beyond me. Yes I know it's probably just denial, but they're not really that good are they?
But that was more a case of the Cowboys losing the game than the Giants winning it, right? Since Jessica Simpson has already disgraced the careers of Tom Wopat and John Schneider, she can now add Tony Romo to that list. I'd add Nick Lachey, but he never had a career in the first place. BAM!