Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday Headlines

Things to read on the least productive workday in the history of Saskatchewan (soon to be surpassed by next Monday):

Let the Mass Honking of Car Horns Begin!
And the profanity-laced victory rants on post-game call-in shows! Yes, the Saskatchewan Roughriders are going back to the Grey Cup. Cue the vindictive, gloating emails. With an effort that can best be described as "victorious", Saskatchewan defeated B.C in yesterday's Western Final. Although this year's Western Final should maybe have determined the league champ - as Winnipeg is going to have a very tough time overcoming Kevin Glenn's broken arm. I believe the American's have POWs... whoops, "enemy combatants"... in Guantanamo Bay who are more comfortable than Dave Dickenson was in the pocket yesterday. And yes, I'm of the mind that if you have a war on terror joke, you must use it. I think Saskatchewan opens as at least a 10 point favorite over Winnipeg.

You Know What's Great For Getting in the Heads of the Opposition?
Questioning the sexuality of their star players. That always works. How about this Facebook group claiming that Milt Stegall enjoys the company of men? Or this one claiming the same thing about Geroy Simon? Clearly that one worked like a charm. If you want some real enlightened discussion, check those out. But if spelling errors, capital letters and exclamation points are more your thing then this is the group for you.

Bill Belichick Proves the Existence of the Little Man Complex (And Also Kills the Easter Bunny)
Obviously due to his own height deficiencies, Patriots' coach Bill Belichick must now prove his worth as a man by running up the score on hapless opponents. Also known as the Napoleon Complex, the Little Man Complex affects certain height disadvantaged individuals, making them attempt to take revenge on a world they feel has done them wrong. After the Patriots win the Super Bowl in February, Belichick will set out to prove he is greater than even Napoleon himself - by conquering Russia during the winter. Actually, look for a post later this week outlining why New England's vendetta-offence is actually good for the NFL.

Revisionist History 101
For those of you interested, and there were some asking, Cooper did send in his College Football picks this week. But I was too busy/lazy (take your pick) to write something up for them. So here they are, only 3 days too late.
Michigan - Lost, 14-3
Georgia - Won, 24-13
Notre Dame - Won, 28-7
Penn State - Lost, 35-31
Purdue - Lost, 27-24
Cal - Lost, 37-23
LSU - Won, 41-24
So he was 3-4 this week, bringing his totals for the year to something like 5-126.

The Fine Line Between Heroism and Stupidity
Every year there are many, many severe knee injuries in football - both professional and collegiate. The usual diagnosis would sound like this, "He tore his ACL and he'll be out for the year." People don't tear their ACL and continue playing do they? Well apparently they do, as we found out this weekend when the news came out that University of Oregon quarterback, and Heisman Trophy hopeful Dennis Dixon played Thursday night's game on a completely torn ACL. Of course he was knocked out of the game against Arizona because of his knee. But still, I think that's a pretty impressive feat.

2 comments:

Trevor said...

I went to those facebook groups, didn't join cause i couldn't bring myself to that level..... that level being someone who uses facebook all the time.

I found out that not only does Milt like men like the name of the group suggets, but in one of the wall messages he also punches babies. Wow that's not very nice at all Milt, infact because of your baby punching ways I hope the bombers lose this weekend.


I'm sure if you checked it's not just rider fans doing this... there will be a site out there called andy fantuz eats babies or something like that.

Luke said...

That's a fair point - I should have checked to see if there are any groups about Roughrider players.

And I just did... I was fully expecting to see one called Kerry Joseph Molests Collies (Caddyshack anyone?). However, the most offensive group I could find was Kerry Joseph is as useful as Ski Pants at the Beach (I kid you not).

Maybe there are more offensive ones out there that I couldn't find.