Friday, November 16, 2007

I Predict A Riot - Week 11 in the NFL

The NFL is becoming harder and harder to get excited about - and as such, harder and harder to write about. I mean look at some of the games this week: Tampa Bay @ Atlanta, Arizona @ Cincinnati, Oakland @ Minnesota, St. Louis @ San Francisco. Nothing about those games would make me get out of bed on a Sunday morning to watch - nevermind try to come up with something clever to say about them. But on we press...

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Apparently Atlanta is the 3rd hottest team in the NFC right now, based on their 2 game winning streak. How terrible is it when stringing 2 wins together puts you on the 3rd best streak in the conference? Very terrible, that's how terrible. But I guess 2 straight wins wasn't enough for Joey Harrington to keep his starting job, as apparently the human statue known as Byron Leftwich is going to start. I want nothing to do with this game.
Winner: Tampa Bay

New England @ Buffalo
If Marshawn Lynch was going to play in this game I would have said that Buffalo had a slim chance... to not get beaten by 35 points. However, Lynch is out - J.P Losman is in - and New England will continue to prove that them getting caught cheating was the fault of everyone else in the league. I know Buffalo has been hot lately but I don't see them getting anything but drubbed.
Winner: New England

Arizona @ Cincinnati
(insert snarky comments here)
Winner: Arizona

Washington @ Dallas
Great day in the morning - a game involving 2 teams over .500 - this might be the best game of the week as well. I might actually watch this game. And this better be the game Fox shows, if I get Carolina/Green Bay I'm going to burn something to the ground.
Winner: Dallas

Carolina @ Green Bay
Hey - speak of the devil. This has the makings of one of those 34-0 blowouts that we were forced to sit through last week in its entirety. Fox couldn't have switched to the Washington game, nooo... because everyone loves Brett Favre. Because of that we had to see Brooks Bollinger attempt to "run" Minnesota's "offence" - which is just a sham. No, clearly I haven't forgotten about this.
Winner: Green Bay

Kansas City @ Indianapolis
Due to the fact that I live in the middle of Western Canada I don't get to see a lot of Chiefs games during the year - and after watching the game last week, I'm very thankful for that. I thought I sort of knew how bad they were - but I had no idea. Their offence is worse than I ever could have imagined. The choice between Damon Huard and Brodie Croyle is like choosing between Beaches and The Prince of Tides - they're both pretty much the same thing and you're going to feel worse about your life after wasting hours watching them.
Winner: Indianapolis

Oakland @ Minnesota
Oh wow... under no circumstances should I be asked to pick a winner in this game. In fact, they shouldn't even play this game - we'll all be better off for it.
Winner: Minnesota

Pittsburgh @ NY Jets
I'm halfway done - and I wish I was all the way done. I bet the Jets feel the same way.
Winner: Pittsburgh

Miami @ Philadelphia
Man, I just read the opening to Bill Simmons' NFL picks - and he's making the case for this to be one of the best seasons in recent memory - as I'm sitting here trying to come up with something to say about 0-9 Miami at 4-5 Philadelphia. I may be the only one, but this has to be one of the worst seasons in recent memory. Yes there are 5 or 6 good teams - then the rest are either mediocre or terrible. Would it be too much to ask for just 10 good teams? Just a little competition would be nice once and a while.
Winner: Philly

San Diego @ Jacksonville
Last week San Diego gets 6 interceptions and scores twice on special teams and still barely beats Indianapolis. As someone who watched that game, let me tell you - San Diego's offence is terrible, and I'd say it's mostly Phillips Rivers' fault - with a little Norv Turner thrown in there for good measure. Jacksonville, on the other hand, is getting David Garrard back - after surviving the Quinn Grey era - and might be a scary team down the stretch and in the playoffs.
Winner: Jacksonville

Cleveland @ Baltimore
The only Fantasy advice I'll ever give is that you should start Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow if you own them - even if Chris McAllister is coming back for Baltimore this week. It doesn't even matter that Cleveland doesn't have a defence - neither does Cincinnati and look what they did to Baltimore last week. And did I mention Kyle Boller starts for Baltimore.
Winner: Cleveland

New Orleans @ Houston
This is probably one of those games that I think looks really bad on paper - but actually turns out to be pretty decent. At least I hope - New Orleans did lose at home to St. Louis of all teams last week.
Winner: New Orleans

St. Louis @ San Francisco
Hey - speaking of St. Louis, they're going to win this week too. No offence to Miami, but San Fran might give them a run for worst team in the league.
Winner: St. Louis

NY Giants @ Detroit
I have a very strong dislike for both of these teams and I have idea why. It's totally irrational. But I find myself, week after week, hoping that both teams lose. I think that Eli Manning and Plaxico Burress might have something to do with the Giants hating - but I have no idea why I dislike Detroit so much. I know I've said this before, but it probably has something to do with the fact that Detroit did not put much talent around Barry Sanders. Old grudges die hard I guess.
Winner: NY Giants

Chicago @ Seattle
So it's the Resurrection of Rex eh? Just when we thought Rex Grossman was dead and gone, he comes back to valiantly lead the Bears to victory last week. At least Brian Griese is hurt so we didn't have the Grossman/Griese circus all week. Don't worry though - I'm sure it won't be long till we have to go through that again.
Winner: Seattle

Tennessee @ Denver
All I've eaten today is a bag of popcorn, I'm lightheaded and... I've got nothing to say about this game.
Winner: Denver

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the horrifying images of wart man in the links by the way. I guess you did warn me, so i can't be too angry.

So you say start Derek Anderson, eh? Then why have i gotten no offers after i put him on the trading block this week? I actually have one offer from cooper, but think i may hold out for better value. Would you take chad johnson for Anderson (pointing out i have Man-God Brady starting the rest of the season). Then again i play you this week, and i won't really trust any advice you give. Fantasy Football kills friendships faster than lending money.

It's nice to finally be favoured this week. I was looking at your point totals after week 4, and you actually have put up good numbers. Some tough matchups i guess.