Thursday, October 18, 2007

The CFL, putting the League in Bush League since 1958

How many thousands of dollars do you think I'll get fined for that?

I really don't have much of anything to say today but I've just been awakened from a delightful afternoon nap by what sounds like a vacuum cleaner but is probably an industrial leaf blower tearing up and down the hallway of my building. So I figured I'd jump on the CFL, since this Roughrider situation really has to be one of the most ridiculous things in the history of organized sport.

And I have one question, what does the executive of the CFL do? And are they really necessary at all? I mean besides making the schedule and occasionally having to broker a T.V contract, it doesn't seem like the CFL really has any need of an executive.

Has anyone ever seen CFL commissioner Mark Cohon? Can anyone actually confirm his existence? Or is he just a fantastic creation of the imaginations of Wally Buono and Hugh Campbell? Apparently he is going to be speaking at the Plaza of Honour dinner here in Regina but I remain skeptical. I wouldn't be surprised if his appearance was cancelled at the last minute due to a "scheduling conflict."

Sure NHL commissioner Gary Bettman might have the business sense of an English Wolfhound and the loyalty of rabid Persian rat... but at least we know he exists. Bettman does occasionally leave the artificially-darkened confines of his luxurious 47th floor Mid-Town Manhattan office to hold his sensory whiskers in the wind to feel what people are saying about his little league that could.

Cohon on the other hand remains locked in semi-seclusion in a high-rise on Younge Street - issuing fines and edicts about anyone having the gall to even slightly question the League in any way. Anyone mentioning the Shreveport Pirates will be shot on sight.

I haven't seen 10 grand demanded so frivolously since Kevin Federline's child support claim.

It's becoming very, very clear that the CFL, both on the field with officiating and off the field in the executive, has no real idea what it is doing. And anybody who even asks for answers to simple questions will be fined until they shut up. I guess the good thing is that it took until the season was almost over for this ugly truth to actually come to light.

And you wonder why the League needs a gag order to prevent players and coaches from speaking out.

As far as I can tell Eric Tillman and Kent Austin simply asked for an explanation from the league as to why three of their players were ejected from the game in Hamilton. That's it. Neither called out the league or said anything 'disparaging' against the league. It was a simple question as to why the events were handled the way they were.

Of course the CFL reacted like an insecure teenager suddenly thrust into the management role at Taco Del Mar. They are so unsure of what they're doing that anybody speaking out of turn must be crushed immediately lest others find out that the people in charge have no idea what they're doing.

But this situation reeks of such gross incompetence that everybody knows what the story is now. No amount of fines, threats and warnings can take the place of actual, competent management. And until the CFL realizes this we're in for an interesting time - and we all know it...

"Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died" - Leonard Cohen


Trebor said...

I don't get it? What is this the Chinese Football League? So this is a dictatorship right? You can't even question it?

got that from a post at the green zone... made me chuckle so thought i'd pass it on to your readers.

How come no link to the green zone, where you can get your rider fill and more.

Anonymous said...

I saw the commish on CBC one time...although it may have been a cardboard cut-out? Although it talked...perhaps a robot controlled by the board of directors (or whatever they call themselves: the legion of doom?). I await the day that someone spills water on this robots lap and exposes the cfl for the sham that it is.
Although most sports leagues don't allow much questioning of their officials or themselves, I have never seen such an over reaction in my life. I think that perhaps the executive is a little skint and needs the cash?
Oh and what is the deal with Britney?