Friday, October 26, 2007

I Predict A Riot - Week 8 in the NFL

For those scoring at home, it was 7-7 last week. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. In fact - you should probably just stop reading now. Also, this is the unprecedented 41st post of the month - and it's only October 26th. At this pace I'm going to have to start mainlining Red Bull.

Detroit @ Chicago
Both of these teams screwed me last week. Apparently Detroit can play some defence now and Chicago goes on 90 yard game-winning drives. I have no idea anymore. I'm going to take Chicago based only on the fact that they're at home. If Chicago wins this game they'll only be percentage points behind Detroit for second in the NFC North - after their first few weeks, who thought that Chicago would suddenly be back in the NFC playoff picture?
Winner: Chicago

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Even though this is a Division game and should probably be close - I have a feeling this could be one of the all-time beatdowns - like a New England-style beatdown. Pittsburgh will be very, very upset about losing in Denver on Sunday night and who better to take it out on than Cincinnati. I know everybody loves the Bengals' offensive weapons but ask any Chad Johnson Fantasy owner if they're happy with the way things have gone so far. Pittsburgh has the players to shut down Cincinnati's weapons anyway. All Pittsburgh has to do is not turn the ball over and they should roll over the Bengals.
Winner: Pittsburgh

Oakland @ Tennessee
Hey - you know who's actually not a bad team... Tennessee. I mean I think anyway - they seem to have a pretty solid run defence. But the fact they made Sage Rosenfels look like Dan Marino last week leads me to question their pass defence. Also, the teams they've beat are: Jacksonville (in Week 1 when Jacksonville was terrible), Atlanta, New Orleans and Houston. And quite honestly I don't know if Vince Young coming back this week helps or hurts them. Oh - but I think Oakland is quite bad or at least not as good as Tennessee.
Winner: Tennessee

Cleveland @ St. Louis
My favorite debate this year is not about whether Indianapolis or New England is better. My favorite is whether St. Louis or Miami is worse. Even with Steven Jackson coming back this week I still think it's St. Louis. That team is just in shambles. And now their best defensive player, resident drunk and probably the only person on the Rams to have actually killed somebody - Leonard Little - is out with an injury. Cleveland doesn't play a lot of defence but they probably won't have to in this game, as I suspect they'll be able to score at will.
Winner: Cleveland

NY Giants @ Miami (in London, England)
As if it wasn't bad enough for Miami - they haven't won and their star running back is out for the year - now this sham of a game in London is going to count as a home game for them. When it rains it pours. This game will solve an interesting sociological question for us though - which American sport is less popular in England, football or hockey?
Winner: NY Giants

Philadelphia @ Minnesota
I have absolutely nothing to say about this game - so I'm not going to. Instead I want to say that I just don't get the ridiculous xenophobia being displayed by "CFL people" toward the "NFL invasion" into Canada - as one person put it this morning (right at the bottom of today's post). I suppose it's just that Canadian insecurity (at least in comparison to the U.S) that has been perpetuated in this country for years. But here's what I don't get - everybody, deep down or even not all that deep down, believes that Canada is superior to the U.S and is constantly looking down their nose at everyone south of the 49th. But then as soon as anything that even smells a little bit American sneaks into Canada there is much hand-wringing and it's the end of the world. If we truly believe that what we do is superior to the American product - why do we care if they come to Canada? I could honestly write about this for 48 straight hours, so I'm going to stop now.
Winner: Minnesota (Tarvaris Jackson won't be anywhere near the offensive huddle)

Indianapolis @ Carolina
Here's the weird stat of the week: Carolina is 0-2 at home and 4-0 on the road. It looks like David Carr and his white gloves will be starting for Carolina this week. Is it just me or does anyone else think than the Panthers are better off starting Old Man Testaverde over Carr. I don't think it's going to matter anyway - Indy looks pretty darn good right now. (Note: I just read on that Testaverde will be starting instead of Carr this week - I thought I should leave it in just so I look smart. Doesn't say much about David Carr does it?)
Winner: Indianapolis

Buffalo @ NY Jets
Chad Pennington is much better off playing on the road right now - that's all there is to it. The first mistake he makes in this game the Jets fans will be all over him like hyenas. I'm excited to see whether the Jets will still allow Pennington to throw those outs across the field that get returned for touchdowns with regularity now. Plus the Jets are going to be without Jonathan Vilma in this game. Marshawn Lynch looked like he was able to run the ball over the Baltimore defence last week - it should be even easier for him this week.
Winner: Buffalo

Houston @ San Diego
It looks like this game is going to be in San Diego now - with the wildfires under control. In the last couple weeks it looked like San Diego had finally come together. And while some might say the fires could be a distraction for them, I think it's going to be just the opposite. Just like the Saints came together after Hurricane Katrina, the fires in San Diego could be the rallying point for the Chargers. They might get back to being a scary team now.
Winner: San Diego

Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay
In the words of the immortal Sonny Liston - "Never ever bet on Quinn Gray, especially on the road." Alright, Liston never said that but he probably would have if he were still with us today. Yes - I'm reaching at this point.
Winner: Tampa Bay

New Orleans @ San Francisco
For purely selfish reasons - ie, Fantasy purposes - I hope that New Orleans wins this game big. But as a fan of the game I hope that the 49ers win this game because New England owns San Francisco's first round pick in the draft this year. And the way it's looking now the Patriots could potentially get a top 10 pick or better out of that. Shoot me now.
Winner: New Orleans

Washington @ New England
I have a feeling this could be a close game - potentially the first time the Patriots don't cover the spread all year. I also have a feeling New England might put the offence away a little bit this week and beat up on Washington with their defence. That might be something they'd do just to prove they could do it.
Winner: New England

Green Bay @ Denver
I'd be more excited about this game if it were taking place in the late 90's - when you had Favre in his prime versus Elway. And also in the category of things I would have rather seen in the late 90's - this. I'd rate my interest in both things now right around Morbid Curiosity.
Winner: Green Bay


Anonymous said...

Now i try and keep up with the hollywood gossip stuff and pop related stuff by watching E! or entertainment tonight, but I'm not sure of this. Brittney is how old now?? I would say she's like 25 maybe 26 so then 10 years ago 15-16 ???

Now I like the younger girls...older..we'll just say girls, but a 15 yr old in playboy ??? I don't know

Luke said...

Perhaps my math was off, plus the fact I don't know how old she is. I don't think Britney was 15 in her prime though - so let's say 7 or 8 years ago then.

Luke said...

To clarify the 2 comments above - they pertain to an earlier incarnation of the Britney joke, which I changed when I found out how old she was. I'll be able to live with myself now.

Jeff K said...

This actually has nothing to do with this post, but as you have posted about Tim McCarver before, I wanted to ask a question. Did I hear McCarver correctly when he called Hideki Okajima, “Funky Okajima”? I am going to assume that he did not create this nickname because I would doubt he has ever even heard of Funky Cold Medina. Also, am I the only one who found that hilarious?

In yesterdays post I think you called Jeff Francis a 13 year old, and said that that was why he is so bad. I actually think it is because it is Colin Hanks disguised as “Jeff Francis”. Stick to acting Colin Hanks….wait a minute, he is no good at that either.

Luke said...

Ba-dum sssch! The Colin Hanks/Tom Hanks thing has got to be one of the all-time apple falling far from the tree situations. It's Nancy Sinatra-esqe.

Hearing that Tim McCarver line makes me wish I could have watched the game last night -I'm visibly upset right now. Instead of giving a late night show to Joe Buck, Fox should just give it to McCarver.

Although given McCarver's long history of botching names or just not knowing someone's name - it's entirely possibly that he actually thinks Okajima's first name is Funky.