Friday, October 12, 2007

Cooper's You Bet Your Life

After last weekend nothing makes sense anymore. USC, a 41 point favorite losing at home to Stanford. Are you s***ting me? Well I am actually coming off of a winning weekend. 5 –1 outright and 3 – 3 against the spread and hey, the Lock of the Week was actually a lock, both outright and against the spread. Not too many big name games this weekend. A ho-hum weekend if you will. Again some of you are asking for some kind of a “gimmick”. You want a gimmick go see a damn prop comic.

Oklahoma St (3-3) @ Nebraska (4–2): The Huskers at home are a –4.5 point favorites to beat Mike Gundy and his Cowboys. Nebraska had their asses handed to them last Saturday and I look for them to come out in front of a pissed of home crowd and play some football. I see the Huskers winning, however the fact that Mike Gundy is a man and he’s 40 gives the Cowboys the push to make this a close game. On the mascot side of things this is basically a Cowboy vs a Farmer. No advantage either way. And with Mike Gundy, accept no imitations.
Nebraska 38 – Oklahoma St 35

#7 South Carolina (5–1) @ North Carolina (2-4): The Ol’ ball coach Steve Spurrier has South Cackilacky on a roll - “click clack”. Led by that smelly Gamecock QB Chris Smelly. The Gamecocks are favored on the road by –7.5 against a Tar Heel team that is coming off a big upset win over “The U”. North Carolina will still be suffering the dreaded “Big win hangover” and will get crushed by the shear genius of Steve Spurrier…”click clack”. As far as mascots go I have no idea what a “Gamecock” is, nor a “Tar Heel”.
South Carolina 24 – North Carolina 6

#4 Boston College (6 – 0) @ Notre Dame (1 – 5): Hey what do you know, the Irish won a game. May I say congratulations on what will be your only win of the season. The poor Irish defense will be up against Boston College’s QB Matt Ryan, who right now is the outright favorite to win the Heisman Trophy. Look for him to be a 1st round pick in this years draft. Say hello to Minnesota Matt. BC is favored by –13.5 and I see them covering the spread. It’s a Eagle vs a Drunk. Easy pickens if you are going the mascot route.
Boston College 42 – Notre Dame 17

#1 LSU (6-0) @ #17 Kentucky (5-1): With USC choking last week LSU is now the outright favorite to win the national championship. The only thing that can stop them now is themselves. LSU got a scare last weekend against Florida, however they managed to pull out the win on a late TD drive. LSU gets back Early Doucet, one of the most dangerous wide outs in football so that will open up the passing lanes for the other receivers that were there while he was out. Kentucky is a good team as well with Heisman candidate QB Andre Woodson. The mascot matchup puts a Tiger against a Wildcat, gotta give the upper hand to the Tiger every time. LSU is favored by –9.5, they have failed to cover the spread in their last 2 games, which were at home so I can’t see them cover this big of a spread on the road in a hostile environment.
LSU 27 – Kentucky 20

#22 Auburn (4-2) @ Arkansas (3-2): I will give in and pick this game solely on the match up between the mascots. The Auburn Tigers “Aubie the Tiger” (go figure) is up against the tag team duo of the Arkansas Razorbacks “Big Red” and “Sue E” (Gold Jerry, Gold!). Aubie has more mascot national championships than any other mascot in the NCAA, and he is a tiger so he has an edge in that regard. Big Red and Sue E are a ferocious duo and they're pigs so they got that going for them. The Hogs are favored by –2.5, however the stealth and cunning that got Aubie where he is today will come through in the end. I see Aubie doing a sneak end around on Sue E and going straight for the jugular. Then it’s just Aubie and Big Red 1 on 1. Nature dictates that the Tiger wins this rare match-up every time.
Aubie 28 Arkansas – 24

And now for the dreaded “Lock of the Week”.

#19 Wisconsin (5 – 1) @ Penn St (4 – 2): Penn St is favored to win by –6.5 at home against a Badgers team that is coming of an upset loss to Illinois. Penn St is 1 – 2 in conference with their only win coming against a weak Iowa team, and back to back losses against Michigan and Illinois. Their 3 other wins have come against some poor opponents (Notre Dame, Buffalo FIU). As well Penn St has to deal with the distraction of having Joe Paterno apparently going nuts with road rage on some bad woman driver. And on the basis of mascots a Badger vs a Nittany Lion? A badger vs a fictional character. Go with the Badger. Wisconsin walks in to Happy Valley and will come out with a win.
Wisconsin 24 – Penn St 21

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

See that was very good...gimmick indeed. If I had suggested a gimmick it would have been you picking the games while smashing fruit with a hammer of some that is comedy. I love the fact that all irish people are drunks to you, they are the fighting irish (therefore they probably had a few too many, but they aren't drunk, just a little bit of liquid courage in em).
Look forward to next weekend, I hear you are taking the show on the road.