Friday, September 19, 2008

Coach Cooper Hates Your Team



It appears that I got off to a rocky start last week, only correctly predicting 3 of 5 games. Hopefully I can run the table this weekend. My extensive research which consists of my accessing pictures on Google with the search criteria being “said university frat girls”, or “said university cheerleaders”, and “said university hot chick”. I have come up with the following evidence to support my claims this week. If you have any pictures you would like to share by all means submit them for approval.

#18 Wake Forest (2-0) @ #24 Florida St (2-0): This game pits the girls from a southern Christian school and against the girls of a Florida party school. Should be no contest right? Here is the evidence that I am faced with. Wake Forest, located somewhere in North Carolina has this:


While Florida state has these two:


The visual evidence tells me Florida State wins this game hands down however I hear that Christian girls are all about embracing the Holy Trinity. That’s just too good to pass up.

Give me the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest by a field goal.

#6 LSU (2-0) @ #10 Auburn (3-0): This is the first of two battles between SEC rivals this weekend. The SEC is chalk full of gorgeous southern belles. I automatically look to play the tie in this one on Pro-Line. However, I am forced to choose a winner. The LSU Tigers are representing this weekend by these fine young ladies:


Where as the Tigers of Auburn counter with this:


Like I said this game is close, all defense, no offense. If you have not heard, Auburn defeated Mississippi St last week 3 – 2. Yes you read that correctly - a field goal held on to win against a safety. What no rouge?

I am going against my better judgment and going with Auburn in this one.

Arizona (2-1) @ UCLA (1-1): In the words of the fine American linguist Emmitt Smith, both teams “got debacled” last weekend. UCLA lost by an incredible 56 to BYU. A Mormon school people - C’Mon! My vast research on the frat girls of Arizona leads me to believe that the good looking women flock to Arizona St:


I guess she must really like “A”

UCLA gives us this:


I swear that when UCLA and USC meet up the shear volume of attractive women in one stadium will create giant black hole and the earth slowly implode in on itself.

UCLA wins

#4 Florida (2-0) @ Tennessee (1-1): Here is the second SEC battle of the weekend. Florida as you would think is well represented coming into this game:


And this:


(Note: that is Florida QB and Heisman winner Tim Tebow and his alleged girlfriend)

Tennessee give us this:


I use the picture with the old lady in it to show how little I think Tennessee will win this game. I will go with Tim Tebow, Percy Harvin and the great women of Florida in this one.

Notre Dame (2-0) @ Michigan St (2-1): I am torn between what to call this game, I have come up with “The Dogs of the Week”, or “Brown Bag Special”. Either way it will be a weekly pick. Notre Dame located in Indiana, and Michigan St located in, well if I need to tell you, just forget it. I don’t imagine either state is a breeding ground for anything more than your typical “Sara plain and talls”. Notre Dame comes into this game represented yet again by her:


While Michigan St counters with her:



YIKES!

Michigan St is at home in this game so I will give them the nod.

ED. NOTE - If you have any picture suggestions, send them to: sportsaslife@hotmail.com

4 comments:

Napoleon in Rags said...

I'm betting that when Cooper saw the picture of the LSU girls, the levees in his pants failed.

The way this site is going, we'll be charging $9.95 a month before long.

Anonymous said...

Hey Coops, Thanks for keeping it somewhat clean so i can peruse at work. Did you somehow doctor that picture of the florida QB. Those can't be real on a girl who otherwise looks quite thin.

Looks like you did your research - only you can provide college football columns that i will actually look at.

CH

Cooper said...

No I didn't doctor the pci of Tim Tebow's woman. Agreed her bosom seems rather large for a girl of her stature. I am assuming that they have been altered, either by photoshop or a day clinic

Napoleon in Rags said...

Day clinic? I don't think so.

By the looks of it, that super-structure was designed by a team of a dozen engineers over a 3 year span.

The titanium/composite rods in her spine that allow her to remain vertical had to be forged in the heart of Mount Vesuvius. And that had to have taken at least a couple weeks.