Tuesday, December 23, 2008

And You Already Know How These Nameless Posts Will End

Indianapolis 31 @ Jacksonville 24 – And of course the Colts are going back to the playoffs. I will live with this, as long as Tampa and New England both miss out.

Baltimore 33 @ Dallas 24 – As with the salmon returning to Capistrano, the Cowboys’ December collapse shows up right on schedule – perfectly coinciding with the fantasy football playoffs. Let this be a lesson. A loss to Philly this weekend and Wade Phillips had best get his interview suit cleaned… and let out.

Cincinnati 14 @ Cleveland 0 – So as I’m walking to work this morning in the -45C temperature, I see a guy riding a bike. As I’m about to yell, “Get a car you hippie!” I remember why I’m walking to work, and realize that at least you always know a bike is going to start.

Pittsburgh 14 @ Tennessee 31 – Man, Ben Roethlisberger had tougher time holding onto balls than a porn starlet with carpal tunnel.

San Francisco 17 @ St. Louis 16 – C’mon St. Louis, the good people that cheer for Kansas City really needed you to pull that one out. We need that #2 draft pick, you had it last year – give someone else a chance.

San Diego 41 @ Tampa Bay 24 – In a rare double-whammy game, San Diego managed to set up a date with Denver for the division title on Sunday; while also making Tampa’s playoff hopes a little bit fainter. Wasn’t it like two weeks ago that people were talking about Tampa being the first team to play in a Super Bowl at home?

New Orleans 42 @ Detroit 7 – As bad as it is to cheer for Kansas City, at least there is a glimmer of hope off in the distance. Not so for Lions fans. There are on the verge of historic futility and it sounds like there will not be major changes to the team before next season. Have fun in the Motor City, Sam Bradford (or Matt Stafford).

Miami 38 @ Kansas City 31 – Oh Kansas City, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory yet again. Just one more epic fail this weekend in Cincinnati and the number 2 pick is within reach. I have faith in you guys.

Arizona 7 @ New England 47 – So… the NFC West might not be all that competitive is what I’m starting to realize. Funny things can happy when a weak division team plays against an actual football team.

Buffalo 30 @ Denver 23 – Now it’s Cutler vs. Rivers in the battle for the quarterback you’d most like to see at the bottom of a well.

NY Jets 3 @ Seattle 13 – Let me just check my notes – so Brett Favre is going to the Pro Bowl, but Phillip Rivers isn’t? Also, I can’t wait for this offseason’s retirement melodrama.

Houston 16 @ Oakland 27 – Did you know that if you don’t support a new football stadium in Regina you hate pizza, have a cat named Himmler and are probably a communist? Ask anyone. Also if a new dome sat empty for half a year, it’s ok because the current outdoor stadium already sits empty for half a year. Food for thought.

Atlanta 24 @ Minnesota 17 – I was wrong about Atlanta, ok? I scoffed at the idea of them continuing the NFC South trend of last place teams winning the division the following year. But if they win and Carolina loses, the Atlanta Falcons are your 2008 NFC South Champions.

Philadelphia 3 @ Washington 10 – If anyone is looking for any last minute gifts for me, I have a suggestion. I would like my office PC, wrapped and under the tree so I can do this to it:

(Turn the volume down if you’re at work)

Carolina 28 @ NY Giants 34 – How many fantasy football championship games do you think DeAngelo Williams and Brandon Jacobs changed on Sunday night? I know they both came into play in ours.

Green Bay 17 @ Chicago 20 – Oh poor Green Bay, looks like that draft pick from the Jets is only going to be a 3rd rounder because of their implosion over the last couple weeks.

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