Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Predict a Riot - Week 10 in the NFL (Thursday Night Football Edition)

Denver @ Cleveland – Brady Quinn’s long-awaited coming out party is finally upon us. What? No, not coming out like that… I mean his first start as an NFL closet case quarterback. Too bad Cleveland's problems are largely defence-related. Luckily Denver has defence-related problems of their own. So Brady's first game might not be as overwhelming as it could have otherwise been.
Winner: Cleveland - not that there's anything wrong with that.

Tennessee @ Chicago - Who would have thought this had game of the week potential? If you like defence, you'll love this game. Of course the last time I said something like that Minnesota and Chicago put up 90 points - so take all this with a grain of salt. It seems to me that Tennessee's run is almost coming to an end. I'm going to give them one more week though.
Winner: Tennessee

New Orleans @ Atlanta - Whooooooo baby, this one could be a shootout and a fantasy owners dream. Unfortunately, this week I find myself playing against the marksman know as Drew Brees. One of my favorite city nicknames of all time? Hotlanta.
Winner: New Orleans

Buffalo @ New England - I defy you to watch this video and not tap your foot:

Winner: New England (and your eardrums)

Seattle @ Miami – Since there is nothing interesting to say about this game, let me tell you a little story. I recently started a new job and with this new job came a different computer on my desk. Initially I was excited – however, after about 15 minutes of work on this new computer I quickly realized this was the worst computer/network in the history of civilization. When you work on a computer all day, I assure you there is nothing more frustrating than when it loads slowly, doesn’t load, freezes, doesn’t send emails, doesn’t receive emails, and causes juvenile diabetes. Ok, I made that last one up – but if there were children in the vicinity of this machine it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if it gave them an incurable disease. Suffice it to say, most of my day is spent cursing at this useless piece of scrap metal and if this computer were a person I would crush it’s windpipe like heat-weakened tinfoil.
Winner: Miami

Jacksonville @ Detroit – What if, and now bear with me… what if Jacksonville were to lose this game? I think that would be one of the most underrated stories of the year. Here you have a preseason Super Bowl favorite that loses in back to back road games to winless teams. What a wonderful bit of happenstance that they are playing Cincinnati and Detroit in back to back weeks. Just when you think the football world is random and cruel, a situation like this comes along. And as if that wasn’t good enough – it’s the return of Daunte’s Inferno. You know what, I’m getting on the bandwagon.
Winner: Detroit

Baltimore @ Houston - I know many fantasy owners are busy cursing Willis McGahee for not bothering to run on the field last weekend - but has anybody seen Todd Heap lately? What happened to that guy - 2 or 3 years ago he was one of the best young tight ends in the game. Now, I don't know if they even give him a jersey anymore.
Winner: Baltimore

Green Bay @ Minnesota - When exactly does Gus Ferotte's deal with the devil expire? Anybody know?
Winner: Green Bay

St Louis @ NY Jets - Did you realize that the alien machines in War of the Worlds were defeated by lichen? That still makes me mad to this day - two and a half hours of Tom Cruise running through New Jersey and then the monsters are destroyed by cave moss? Give me a break. He probably had to wear lifts in that move so he'd be taller than Dakota Fanning. Forgive me, I just saw an ad for it being shown on TV.
Winner: NY Jets

Carolina @ Oakland – Sooooo.... DeAngelo Hall was a real bargain, eh Raider fans?
DeAngelo Hall’s 8 games: 8 million dollars
An owner with eternal life: 4,000 stem cells a day
Releasing your highest paid free agent 9 weeks into the season: priceless
Winner: Carolina

Kansas City @ San Diego - The march towards futility (and a top 3 draft pick) continues! Kansas City is steadily improving and by the end of the season they may be known for more than just ending the season of Tom Brady. Doubtful, but you never now. This is potentially a trap game for San Diego, although I don't know if a 3-5 team can have a trap game. Did you know: if Denver loses and Kansas City wins, they're only 2 games out of the division lead.
Winner: San Diego

Indianapolis @ Pittsburgh - I can't wait to see Byron Leftwich try to rumble away from an onrushing Dwight Freeny. Is Freeny even playing, I can't keep track of all their injuries anymore. Same goes for Pittsburgh too I guess.
Winner: Pittsburgh

NY Giants @ Philadelphia - A nice, old-school, beat the life out of your opponent, NFC East battle.
Winner: New York

San Francisco @ Arizona – This is the Monday night game? When does the flex-scheduling start and why couldn’t it be applied to this game. Why wasn’t this an afternoon game – the type I like to nap through once the morning coffee has worn off, generally with chip crumbs all over my shirt. I guess if San Francisco can play a half-decent game, this game has the potential to entertaining at least – the outcome isn’t in doubt, but at least it could be entertaining. Luckily now that the time has changed I’ll probably be asleep before the game is over anyway.
Winner: Arizona

1 comment:

Cooper said...

This computer you speak of at work. Would it happen to be a Wang? I remember the first computer my parents bought. It was a Wang brand computer and it sucked! I currently use it to make my NCAA picks for me