Wednesday, August 26, 2009

32 Teams in 30-some Days: The Oakland Raiders

Ah yes, the Oakland Raaaaaaaaiders.

The only organization in the NFL that makes me feel better about Kansas City. Be it their organizational decay, their zombified owner, their criminal fan base or their coachs' fisticuffs - I've come to believe that Oakland only exists now to make other teams look better. They certainly don't exist to win games.

Boom, roasted.

All joking aside, some people who know things about football think the Raiders will be an improved team this year. But let's be frank, you and I - those people are idiots.

Ok, I lied about that whole "all joking aside" thing, just then. But seriously, is it possible that Oakland could be respectable teams this season? In a word - no.

It's pretty clear that in exchange for eternal life, albeit as a disfigured hobgoblin, Al Davis traded the fortunes of his franchise. As long as the sawdust continues to course through the surgical tubing under Al's skin, the Raiders will not be successful. Of course this raises the question, if Al Davis is the walking undead and has no need for a circulatory system why was the tubing used to carry the sawdust implanted at all? These are the questions that keep a person up at night.

In summation I would like to add - boo Oakland!


Anonymous said...

As I look at it, the AFC west really stinks except for you know who's team....


Anonymous said...

Listen...well...ok, so hold on a second.

Man, I had such high hopes (well, high if you consider the past 5 years or so). I was thinking 6-7 wins. And then the punch. Fin.

Although, one has to take this review with a lump of salt (a huge lump), considering that this post was written by some kind of Nazi, a Chief Nazi from what I read (see comment from B. last post).



Who am I kidding, they are probably going to stink, punch or no punch.