Humans of Earth,
We have once again come for your white blood cells and bronchi. Resistence is futile - none will be spared. Assimilate or face extinction under our iron hoof. You will be treated as well as you have treated us over the centuries. YOUR ribs will be greedily devoured at our barbecues. YOUR back hair will be used in our fine bristle brushes. YOUR children will be dissected in our children's high school biology classes. And YOUR feet will be ground up for our household adhesives.
Retribution will be swift and brutal. None shall be spared - unless of course you have a functioning immune system... or a dust mask.
And there you have it, as you probably read today the highest health bureaucrat in Canada announced that the Swine Flu will be returning to prime time on your TV this fall. Wednesdays, right after Gary Unmarried. Check your local listings.
What does this have to do with the Houston Texans, you ask? Well nothing other than my own convoluted rationale that there are probably pig farms in Texas. Plus the fact that I had no ideas for a funny Texans poster.
The Texans are this season's sexy sleeper pick - and those preseason sleepers always pan out, don't they.
But hey, they have the best receiver in football, a solid quarterback (when he isn't injured, which isn't often), what should be an exciting ground game and a solid defence. And looking at their schedule they have the potential for 10 or 11 wins (no joke).
So if there was ever a year for the Texans to put it together, this is it. A division title might be shooting for the stars, but a Wildcard spot certainly isn't out of the realm of possibility.
I will say this, if the Texans aren't at least competitive and in the running for the playoffs, this will be Gary Kubiak's last season as head coach. I have absolutely not factual data to back that up, just the feeling I get.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Posted by Luke at 9:35 AM