Monday, April 6, 2009

All in All, It's Just Another Brick in the Wall

After what surely must have been many months of political wrangling and closed-door meetings, it was announced today that henceforth April 13th here in Saskatchewan will be known as "Corner Gas Day". I can only assume this will be a statutory holiday on which every citizen in Saskatchewan will receive $13 in free gas. If not, I've lost all interest.

A complete absence of any benefit to anybody in Saskatchewan notwithstanding, I think Corner Gas Day sets any interesting precedent for the province. Why Corner Gas and not any of the other fine programs this province has produced? What makes it so special?

Because I'm a concerned citizen and TV enthusiast, I suggest we be a little more inclusive with our naming days after TV shows policy. Why stop at just one? Here are 4 more days we could easily name after TV shows, if only the government would just listen:

May 11 - Putnam's Prairie Emporium Day: All small business owners will be required to have a beard and dispense sage wisdom (fake beards acceptable). A contest will be held to judge best talking stuffed moosehead - use of a bison head will lead to automatic disqualification.

July 29 - Wideshot Day: To commemorate the groundbreaking "backwards" Wideshot episode, all Government of Saskatchewan employees must walk backwards and perform all job-related duties in reverse. Perhaps not surprisingly, this will only cause a 4% drop-off in productivity from a normal day. Also, every second co-worker an employee greets must be referred to as 'Biff.'

September 3 - The James and Kevin Show Day: All male residents of Saskatchewan must fill out a questionnaire containing only one question, "Do you self-declare as fat or skinny?" Those answering 'fat' will be paired up with a 'skinny' partner. The two must then walk around for one afternoon in public place, running afoul of citizens and being filmed in poor quality. Off camera, 'fat' member of the group must be a complete jackass - this is non-negotiable.

November 22 - The Time I Was in a Commercial for The Four Seasons Day: A day to celebrate the greatest high-five ever caught on film - it must be recognized. The morning of the 2002 gold medal Olympic hockey game I came down with a nasty case of Team Canada Fever and was unable to attend work. Luckily, my truancy was only captured on the local news and in a local commerical, so I'm sure nobody ever noticed. Put that commercial back on the air!

Initially, my plan was to come up with 5 new days - but I could only think of 4 Saskatchewan TV shows. I was going to suggest a day for Fred Penner's Place (even though it's not "Saskatchewan") but I didn't think it was appropriate to commemorate a show about a solitary man trying to lure children to his hideout in the woods.

Any shows I missed? Your TV show suggestions and ways to celebrate in the comments.


Anonymous said...

How about the local show that started the 1960's counter culture? That show, CTV's "Kids Bids". Where kids would save their Old Dutch box tops from potato chips, flock every Saturday morning to the CTV building and have the opportunity to bid on and win such sought after prizes as the Popeil Pocket Fisherman or the ever popular, Super Slider Snow Skates. Before Woodstock, there was Kids Bids.

How about the local cable classic, The Golf Show with host Doug Sauter. Where Doug (when sober) would tour the province, sampling golf courses and playing a few holes with the local pro. Doug's swing was the classic slap shot with often times hilarious results.

Two Saskatchewan gems.


Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, i forgot about Doug Sauter. They always showed him tallying up his score at the end and he was somehow always in single digits above par. He could have made the big time if his swing had a Charles Barkley-like pause on the downswing.

How about instead of Wideshot, you just give Bill Wright his own day. Switchback was a little more mainstream, and almost fully shown in forward motion.

For those looking for the best pop culture experience Regina has to offer (beyond the bar stool Ryan Reynolds sat in while filming Just Friends), the stuffed head from Putnam's Prairie Emporium is on display at the Plains museum downtown.

I love the activities listed for James and Kevin Day, but i think we'd be the laughing stock of the country after people got a chance to see them "make it" on those national interludes for Just for Laughs. Painful painful stuff. Almost as hard as watching David Brent's motivational speeches on the original Office.

And now i'm rambling - good article. It got me thinking.


Napoleon in Rags said...

Man, oh man - how could I forget about The Golf Show (or Saskatchewan Golf Tour - I think it was also called that at one point)? No excuses. When you saw him hammer that ball down the highway in the intro, you knew it was game on.

And yes, Bill Wright probably should get his own day. I was torn between Switchback and Wideshot - but Wideshot jus seemed too ridiculous not to pick.

I didn't realize the stuffed head was still in existence. When we organize the Sports As Life Cultural Walking Tour series for this summer, that will have to be included.