Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

It's becoming increasingly clear that there are only two ways this winter is ever going to end:

1) I find a groundhog and kill it
2) I find Andie McDowell and get her to fall in love with me

I'm not sure which of those appeals to me less. On one hand, I'd have to kill a mostly defenseless woodland creature. Plus I'd probably have to actually find the thing - which I imagine would involve tracking and trapping. And who am I, Mantracker? (I wish, sigh)

On the other hand, I'd have to seduce Andie McDowell - let's face it, she's be game. But I think I'd almost rather murder the defenseless overgrown squirrel, there'd be less biting and gnawing involved. Seriously, look at the picture - which one should be the Hollywood celebrity and which one should be felling trees in the forest? If push came to shove, you know she could bring down a mighty poplar in an afternoon.

What's my point? First, I need to stop watching Groundhog Day - it is not helping. Second, I'm losing my mind. If spring doesn't come soon I'm going to go completely off the rails. I feel like I haven't seen the sun in six years.

And since I have nothing better to write about, I'm going to fall back on the old standby of lazy and bored writers everywhere - lists!!

Today's list:

5 Great Songs You've Probably Never Heard (But Maybe You Have, What Do I Know?)

1. Low Man - Alberta Cross

If you're a fan of the TV show Californication (and you should be), you might recognize this song from near the end of episode 20.

2. Dirty Dishes - Deer Tick

Just go ahead and buy this song on iTunes - the video doesn't do it justice. The cymbal work in the studio version will alter your life.

3. Step Off the Map & Float - Library Voices

Regina's very own - live this Friday at the Exchange. I will be endeavouring to attend, you should too.

4. Favorite - Neko Case

I want to marry Neko Case's voice - not her, her voice. I want it to make me soup when I'm sick and tell me everything's going to be alright.

5. Space Travel is Boring - Sun Kil Moon

A cover of a Modest Mouse song. Knew she'd go crazy, but not that soon - that pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?

And in closing I'm proud to announce that Sports As Life is now so funny it will make your appendix explode! Hope you're feeling better.

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