Thursday, December 13, 2007

I Predict A Riot - Week 15 in the NFL

Well the Mitchell Report ended up being a slight disappointment - most of the players named aren't even in the League anymore. And many of the ones that do still play, I've never heard of. Roger Clemons, Andy Pettitte, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Eric Gagne and Gregg Zaun were the biggest (active) names implicated. I must say, this morning's fake list was much more entertaining than the actual list... Glenallen Hill, come'on?

Anyway, enough enjoyment over the public humiliation of others. But I gotta say, after skimming through the 400 page document I'm a little worn out - worst... Riot... ever.

14-2 last week, try to do better this week...

Denver @ Houston
I may watch this game - but I refuse to enjoy it. Mike Shanahan coaching against his former Offensive Coordinator, Gary Kubiak, for the first time. Also Shanahan's son is apparently on the Houston coaching staff as well - or he plays for Houston - or he lives in Houston... it's something like that.
Winner: Denver

Cincinnati @ San Francisco
Nobody will complain about missing this game because they don't get the NFL Network. I think I've used that line before but it's never been truer than right now. Who exactly is playing quarterback for the 49ers in this game? I suppose I should find that out...
Winner: Cincinnati

Buffalo @ Cleveland
Apparently Shaun Hill is the starting QB for San Francisco this week - according to, until last week he had never even attempted a pass in 6 seasons in the NFL... Right, the Bills/Browns game... I don't know why, but I've got a feeling about this game. This game could potentially decide one of the wildcard spots.
Winner: Buffalo

Tennessee @ Kansas City
I'd like to thank the entire Chiefs organization for taking to heart the letter I wrote them last week. But in the future could we making the tanking a little less obvious please? What's that you say... oh you were tying? Ahh, you're just not very good at all.
Winner: Tennessee

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay
I don't know if Atlanta's coach quitting on them helps or hurts the Falcons. I could almost see a defiant Falcons team coming together to show how much Bobby Petrino was holding them back. But then I remember this is the Atlanta Falcons.
Winner: Tampa Bay

Seattle @ Carolina
You know - I'd sort of forgotten that Carolina even had a football team.
Winner: Seattle

Green Bay @ St. Louis
This is another one of those I have a feeling games. Brett Favre in a dome, everything going great... something has gotta happen doesn't it? Sometimes I don't understand why everything must be so difficult - I'm trying to find out who is playing quarterback for St. Louis this week - because the Rams' 1st and 2nd stringers were out last week. And now there is no mention of any St. Louis injuries anywhere. The most recent injury report on the official Rams website is from November 9th. In fact, because of the difficulty this team just caused me - this is happening...
Winner: Green Bay

Baltimore @ Miami
The road to perfection continues...
Winner: Baltimore

NY Jets @ New England
This... ahhh... this is going to be ugly. My suggestions are: give the points, take New England, take the over and watch the ensuing carnage. The post-game handshake might turn into a fistfight if we're lucky. The Patriots have a pretty good shot at 70.
Winner: New England

Arizona @ New Orleans
Take the over - this is going to be a shootout. It's a shame to see Drew Brees playing so well now that my miserable Fantasy season is over. RIP Now With 15% Dogfighting (4-10) - you will not be missed.
Winner: New Orleans

Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh
This is the best of the early games (except maybe Buffalo/Cleveland), although I imagine I'm going to be watching the Massacre in Massachusetts - despite Phil Simms being involved in that event. Curiously absent this week was Anthony Smith's guarantee of a victory over the Jaguars. Funny that.
Winner: Pittsburgh

Indianapolis @ Oakland
I don't think anything could make me watch this game. Although this might be the reply to New England's crushing of the Jets in the morning. Could be interesting only for the anything you can do we can do better factor.
Winner: Indianapolis

Philadelphia @ Dallas
T.O. finally speaks and he finally rips someone who actually deserves it - Keyshawn Johnson. All season on NFL Countdown Johnson has been generally condescending and well, prickish. If it wasn't for Emmitt Smith's continuing struggles with the English language, it would be Johnson's continuing parade of disinterest and arrogance that we would be talking about. Keyshawn calling T.O out for being immature and talking about his former coach... wow, I'm not entirely certain that Johnson has a lot of high moral ground here. I believe Keyshawn had a history of taking shots at his teammates as well. I suspect T.O. will be sufficiently motivated this week - as if playing against his old team wasn't enough.
Winner: Dallas

Detroit @ San Diego
I'm picking San Diego even though there are a lot of reasons not too. Shawne Merriman is out, Phillip Rivers is hurt - and he's not real good even when he's healthy. But the most important injury might be fullback Lorenzo Neal. He's done for the season and LaDanian Tomlinson is going to miss him - you can be sure of that. Plus the Chargers are still coached by Norv Turner - at least for a few more games.
Winner: San Diego

Washington @ NY Giants
I can't believe I have to watch the Giants in prime time. Oh well, at least I'll get to see Todd "Tom" Collins.
Winner: NY Giants

Chicago @ Minnesota
So Minnesota is good now or what? It boggles the mind to think that Tarvaris Jackson might be the quarterback of a playoff team. Also, Kyle Orton is starting for Chicago this week - hide the key to the liquor cabinet!
Winner: Minnesota

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