... and I'm out of here.
You: Then go. Who needs you?
Me: (Goes to hug you) I missed you!
You: (Stands uncomfortably, not hugging back)
So... yeah, it's been awhile, eh? How ya been?
I won't lie to you, it wasn't you - it was me. I've got a couple reasons I haven't been around these parts lately. Firstly, I've been busy with things you do not care about, so let's not even trouble ourselves with that.
Secondly, I've been bored out of my mind. Let's face it, there's not exactly a whole lot going on in the NFL world these days - and I'm not too interested in the dealing with the daily minutiae of the off-season. But I'll figure out something to write about, most importantly because it will keep me busy at work.
As my first order of business back on the job, I'd like to say a few words about Twitter. Anybody who knows me, knows my thoughts about Twitter. Twitter is stupid. It's for people who think that MySpace is just a little too in-depth. Twitter is Facebook with ADD. It's the latest advancement in an increasingly unbearable, narcissistic society, where everybody is a star and is worthy of attention. Well I've got news for you - you're not and nobody cares.
And with that, I'm proud to announce that Sports As Life is now on Twitter! You can find us right here:
Check out the page early and often to see what is currently enraging me. Since I hate everything and everybody, there will never be a shortage of material.
In summation, I'm back - let's rock.