(Not So) Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby

Looks like I'm on my own today for the Fantasy Football column as Trevor is busy with his real job. Nobody gets paid here, what do you expect? So today's topic is something I'm well versed in - losing. (I'm now 0-5 for those of you scoring at home)


87 Signs That Your Fantasy Football Season is Not Going Well

...you're visibly upset when Kurt Warner gets snatched off the waiver wire before you can get him - realizing of course that it's 2007 and not 1999.

...you actually start to believe that you're having a negative effect on the players you put on your team.

...you do not laugh at the thought of Vinny Testaverde being your starting quarterback.

...you have been #1 in the waiver order every week of the season.

...you've thought about Gus Ferrotte in a way other than, "Wait - he still plays football?"

...you're 0-5.

...you're starting an Atlanta Falcon - any Atlanta Falcon.

...you had a top six pick and took Steven Jackson, Frank Gore, Larry Johnson or Shaun Alexander. Who knew Ronnie Brown should have been a first round pick?

...you do not own Tom Brady, Tony Romo or Peyton Manning. Quarterbacks are the new running backs.

...at some point during the season you have owned such world-beaters as Jacoby Jones, Reggie Brown, Earnest Graham or Chris Brown. (Note: I have owned all 4)

...you've sent an email inquiring about the availability of Ron Dayne.

...you've started any one of the thousands of Green Bay running backs this year.

Ok, that's only 12 signs but I've seen too much of myself in those - I'm making myself sick. To give you an idea about the current state of Fantasy Football, in our league this week one of the match-ups features Daunte Culpepper vs. Brian Griese.