NHL Headshot of the Week

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin. He is a criminal element! The worst goon in hockey today. Oh, yeah. Real cement-head."
- player/coach Reg Dunlop

This week's Headshot is Scott Walker's headbutt of Mike Fisher - video evidence here. I just don't understand this one - Walker and Fisher had a great fight, it was winding down and then Walker throws a headbutt. He was probably just upset about being bled like a stuck pig.

That was the NHL Headshot of the Week - however, if we were picking Headshot's regardless of sport - this would be the runaway winner. Horford obviously didn't mean to palm Ford's skull - and I'm laughing now because Ford's alright - but you can just hear Ford's bones turning to dust when he hits the court can't you? They called me Mr. Glass.

NHL Headshot of the Week

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin.He is a criminal element! The worst goon in hockey today.Oh, yeah. Real cement-head."

- player/coach Reg Dunlop

If you can guess which team this week's featured cement-head plays for, I've got 7 shiny hobo-nickels for you. Oh sorry - the correct answer was the Philadelphia Flyers. You probably should have gotten that one.

This hit was pretty minor - but Cote was suspended 3 games and the Flyers have officially been put on notice. Clearly players like this are still necessary in the NHL. This guy sees less ice than the Sultan of Brunei, babe (read that in a Dennis Miller voice).

NHL Headshot of the Week

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin.He is a criminal element! The worst goon in hockey today.Oh, yeah. Real cement-head." - player/coach Reg Dunlop

If like guys getting their faces run into the dasherboard while totally defenceless - you're in luck. Take a look at Scott Hartnell's hit on Andrew Alberts - this also works if you're a big fan of guys laying motionless on the ice.

I've got a theory I'm working on - I think that society has passed hockey by in terms of what types of behaviour are acceptable and hockey has steadfastly refused to evolve. I think that goes a long way to explaining why the NHL just cannot get a foothold in the United States. Look for an expanded version of this in the coming weeks.

And if it's kids being urged to brawl by their coaches - this might be more your style.

NHL Headshot of the Week (To the Ankle)

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin.He is a criminal element! The worst goon in hockey today.Oh, yeah. Real cement-head." - player/coach Reg Dunlop

This little incident happened last Friday, so we're still technically within a week. This week's "Headshot" of the Week is Mattias Ohlund breaking Mikko Koivu's leg with a slash. Here it is if you haven't seen it. Ohlund got a four game suspension - and it should have been 40. Using the stick as a weapon is far more serious than head-hunting. And yes I know Koivu elbowed Ohlund but that was the weakest elbow I've ever seen - clearly the only response was a savage golf-swing slash. Originally I was going to write - Do you think Valery Kharlamov felt a little twinge in his ankle and bent down to rub it when he saw that clip - until I realized he died in a car accident in 1981. Thank you Wikipedia.

NHL Headshot of the Week

There really wasn't any savage goonery in the NHL this week, which on some level actualy disappoints me - as sad as that is. So here's a clip from last night's Boston/Toronto game, in which Boston's Milan Lucic gives Toronto's Mark Bell a couple of pretty good shots to the head. Watch away. Apparently Bell fights as well as he drives drunk... ohhh snap.

NHL Headshot of the Week

I'd like to thank everyone who keeps me informed of all the goonery around the league. NHL Headshot of the Week is sweeping the nation and it wouldn't be possible without you.

Cooper called me while I was out last night, just to make sure I was aware of this one. Montreal's Francis Bouillon elbowed Boston's Aaron Ward in the head as he was skating past. Apparently there was a stretcher on the ice but Ward was able to get off with some help. This video doesn't really show it - but it's the best I could find. If you've seen a better one let me know.

Here's another great one - it's a compilation video put together by CBC that sums everything up very nicely.

NHL Headshot of the Week

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin.
He is a criminal element! The worst goon in hockey today.
Oh, yeah. Real cement-head." - player/coach Reg Dunlop

It's probably a bad sign I'm disappointed there were no cheapshots to the head this week isn't it?

That's actually not true - there just wasn't the blatant and ridiculous ones we've seen in past weeks. If this continues to be the case I'll just start running old Steve Durbano clips.

This week's Headshot of the Week belongs to Edmonton's Raffi Torres for his blindside shoulder to the head of Calgary's David Moss. It doesn't even look that bad but Torres got fined $2500 and Moss is out with a concussion. See for yourself.

Typical Edmonton dirty tricks.

NHL Headshot of the Week

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin.

He is a criminal element!The worst goon in hockey today.

Oh, yeah. Real cement-head." - player/coach Reg Dunlop

That quote describes nobody in the NHL better than Nashville's Jordin Tootoo - who is nothing more than a criminal element. He seems to possess no actual hockey skills other than the ability to take 12-step runs at other players. Need proof? Here's a clip from a game last week against Phoenix:

See for yourself

It's because of talentless nobodies like Tootoo that players get clotheslined - like Craig Weller did to Tootoo in the clip. And while I feel like it's a double standard for me to be praising Weller for clocking Tootoo - I am doing just that. Anybody else find it hilarious that Tootoo runs around trying to kill guys but as soon as he gets hit he's lying on the ice like someone shot him. For the sake of the game they oughta throw him in San Quentin.

This hit even made CBC's Kelly Hrudey stand up and say Tootoo is a "disgrace" and "should be out of the game." Try to find the actual quotes of what Hrudey said - I dare you. You know the NHL is in bad shape when you can't even find controversial quotes about it on the Internet.

NHL Headshot of the Week

"For the sake of the game, they oughta throw him in San Quentin.
He is a criminal element!The worst goon in hockey today.
Oh, yeah. Real cement-head." - player/coach Reg Dunlop

I can't take credit for this idea - it was Sports As Life's head-fantasy writer Trebor's idea. But I'm fully on board. As we were discussing this last night, he expressed some concerns that there might not be enough material from week to week. I, on the other hand, didn't think that was going to be a problem. So here we go - I don't know if this feature will be appearing every Friday or not but I have a feeling you'll see it most weeks.

This week's NHL Headshot of the Week belongs to Jesses Boulerice of the Philadelphia Flyers, who tried his best to shove the shaft of his stick down the throat of Vancouver's Ryan Kesler.

You can view the hit here.

Now in my estimation Boulerice needs to be suspended for at least 20 games. But for some reason I think he's going to get less than that - and I have no idea why. Maybe because Kesler wasn't seriously hurt or stretchered off the ice.

Here's my theory - suspend him for the year. Get him out of the game. I think that penalty is way over the top but the only way to get through to people that this behaviour is unacceptable is to make a serious example of someone. The 20 game suspension to Steve Downie is definitely a step in the right direction - that's a quarter of the season - but apparently people just aren't getting the message. So why not make an example of this goon who has apparently very limited hockey skills anyway. What if that had been Sydney Crosby instead of Ryan Kesler? People would be calling for Boulerice to be shot by firing squad.